Headed in the Right Direction

Today I had a great weigh-in at weight watchers. I mean seriously, the best one since I rejoined the program back in May 2014. 

I was 2.2 pounds down. 

This is after nearly six months of hovering and slowly gaining. 

I cannot tell you the sweet feeling of success that overcame me when I heard her say that. 

What's changed since the New Year? 

1. Kaia Fit OC - Let's get real, I haven't been on a really regimented training program since I was meeting with Amanda regularly (in person). The girls at Kaia are AWESOME. They motivate me, accept my current fitness level and support my goals and efforts to improve. I think this has been better because I can't seem to be accountable in online training sessions. That accountability is something I struggle with when I'm not attending weight watchers meetings too. 
2. Weight Watchers - Tracking points works! I know that, and yet I have trouble putting it into action at times. Re-committing to logging everything that goes into my mouth has been a learning process, an adjustment period and now a tool for success.
3. Holistic Nutrition Center - One thing I've done completely differently this time around in my weight loss journey is get a nutritionist. Kaia had one come in and speak, so I went with her. In the spirit of full-disclosure, it's a little bit too voodoo for Sam, but I think we're both at the point where whatever works is great. I'm changing my eating habits, the way I think about food and the way I tackle this process.
4. Fat Chance - I think I mentioned that I've been reading a great book that Sam read and then recommended to me. Right now, the author is thoroughly explaining the biochemistry behind obesity and it's been really enlightening. Not that I'm taking anything as an excuse for what's happened to me, but I do think knowledge is empowering and can help me to get this weight off and then KEEP IT OFF. I am less than a quarter of the way in, but as of now I'd recommend this to anyone trying to make a change and be more healthy/fit. 

Back on the Wagon

Today at my meeting, I reset my Weight Watchers history - no old progress reports hanging around, no past milestones reminding me how much I've gained back, etc. Just a fresh slate for me to write on in 2015.

My dear friend and fellow weight watcher and I then grabbed lunch and took a long walk to discuss our game plan for success in this new year. We both feel the time truly is now to prioritize our fitness and health. Not only did we talk about the things that are holding us back, but how we can eliminate those roadblocks to achieving our goals. As an added bonus, we tracked everything we ate, stayed on our daily points, and crushed our 10,000 daily step goal. Woohoo!

 When I got home, I went through my Weight Watcher Notebook, a binder I created that houses all of my favorite WW recipes for easy access and meal-planning. I printed out new recipes that I want to try and replaced things that either didn't go over well, or I was never interested in testing over the past four years. Keeping the recipes up to date is very helpful for me when I'm planning out the things I'm going to eat for the week, and planning ahead of time is something I really need to prioritize. I think it's part of the reason I was so successful last time.

I also printed out all of my Kaia FIT Brik paperwork including the PDF Cookbook, the nutrition guidelines, and a few interesting looking fitness challenges. Truth be told, I am so sore today after yesterday's workout I am finding it challenging to get in and out of cars, chairs and up stairs. I can only imagine how I will feel after a whole week of this!

Speaking of which, tomorrow is my first day back at 5:00 a.m. Kaia Klass, so I need to get my butt to bed. I'm already an hour past my intended bedtime!

2015 Resolutions

I have mixed emotions about New Years Resolutions. They can be very powerful and motivating when they are focused on, and yet, they can also be a list of broken promises to ones self. With that in mind, I have a few for 2015:

1. Make fitness a priority - this is my go-to resolution, but I am serious about making 2015 the year that I get back into shape and find a healthy balance between my personal and professional health. I have already signed back up for Kaia FIT and will be starting the first BRIK session of 2015 on Monday. Too long have I made emotionally driven choices about my diet and exercise regime, and it's long past time to get down to business. 
2. Be more financially mindful - marrying Sam has brought to light our differing strategies about finances. Let me be completely honest, he is far more financially minded than I am, and he has much better financial self-discipline. I am looking forward to strategizing with him in the coming months so that I, too, can be more financially responsible. 
3. Read more - I love to read for pleasure and to sharpen my skills, but I don't often make time for it the way I should. This year, I'd like to cross a few books off of my "To Read" list.
4. Write more - Be it professionally or personally, I derive great pleasure from writing. Sam keeps encouraging me to write the next great American novel, which I may pursue at some point in the upcoming months. My goal is to blog, journal, creative and professionally write every day. Sometimes it can be a challenge to come home from drafting copy for clients and emerse myself in my own writing projects, but I am going to make an effort to do so every day, even if it's just a few short sentences. 

In closing, I will share this fabulous quote that a friend posted on Facebook last night: 

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever." - Neil Gaiman

Never Miss Monday

People ask me why I am such a proponent of getting to the gym on Mondays.  Well, because my awesome personal trainer, Amanda, told me once that Monday is the easiest day to get the gym.  It's the beginning of the week, things don't USUALLY pop up, and you get it out of the way while you're still fresh from the weekend.

Obviously you need to go to the gym more than just on Mondays, but I have really made it a point to live by this advice when I am seriously in the swing on working out.  To that end, I had to share this great graphic that I found on Pinterest.

Back to Workouts

The bridal bootcamp has been underway for weeks now, but unfortunately I haven't been as on my game as I should have been... I'm going to blame the long hours at my new job.  

Well, two weeks ago I emailed my personal trainer, the wonderful Amanda, and let her know what my pain points are as far as not having a regular work schedule.  I told her that I'm going to make fitness a much bigger priority and focus on a manageable work life balance.  And she helped me out with some awesome workouts to help get me back into shape.  

First up on the list?  I started getting my act together for spin class on Mondays and Wednesdays at 6:45 p.m.  I cannot even begin to give Sam enough credit for how much he's enabled me to focus on myself.  Sam's on a really easy rotation (think reliably short hours) at Kaiser so he's been able to get home to let Hunter out on the nights I head to the gym directly from work.  

Additionally, Amanda has given me some really handy workouts that involve walking the dog - which is a win win for us because it gives us a chance to do something as a family (Sam joins us) and we also get to involve Hunter.  He has been sleeping through the night A LOT better with all this exercise.  

The best news of all is that I've gotten more than 10,000 steps and more than 30 minutes of intense activity for the last five days in a row counting today.  I know it's not going to happen over night, but this is the second week in a row that I've made it to two spin classes.  Let me tell you, my legs are BURNING, which is a good thing because in the simplest of explanations: the muscles in your legs are the largest, most powerful muscles in your body thus they are capable of burning the most energy aka fat.  

I'm also working my upper body so that my arms and shoulders are as sculpted as possible when I don my beautiful strapless wedding dress in less than five months!  I can't believe how quickly the months are ticking down...

I'm not sure if it's partly because of the Lexapro, but I don't have quite the same level of agitation and stress at work these days.  Not to say I'm not committed, but I don't feel the need to push and give my job all 110% of my energy.  And it's been making me really happy to spend some time on myself, improving my fitness and getting back into shape. 

St. Patrick's Day Priorities

St. Patrick's Day Priorities when you're on a wedding countdown...

No green beer, but at least I wore my green Lululemon shirt!

A Little Life Update

I know I haven't been posting too regularly but I am making an effort to stop sacrificing all of the things I love and enjoy doing in my free time starting in March.

It's been too long since I was at the gym, wrote a blog post, tried a new recipe, etc.

I knew I was signing on for long hours when I took the agency job in December, but I was naive to how long the hours would truly be.  At best, I get to the office at 8:30 a.m. and leave at 5:30 p.m. when my workday is technically over.  The catch, is that there is that things seem to have a nasty habit of popping up between 4:30 - 5:30 just as I'm thinking about winding down.  Or, I start logging my billable time at 4:20 but it takes me 20 - 30 minutes to complete because I make meticulous notes to help my Account Coordinate do the billing.  On top of that, we're supposed to be billable 7 hours a day, which doesn't sound too bad until you think about the time you spend in the bathroom, your lunch break, the miscellaneous time you have waiting for a meeting to start or recapping the topics that were discussed on a call with a client for your billing reports.  So sometimes I have to stay after 5:30 just to try to make my billable hours.

Since taking this job, my TMJ disorder has come roaring back to life and I am not getting the relief from my mouthguard the way I have in the past.  My suspicion is that after 4 years I have probably clenched so much that I need to replace it, and I have an appointment later this month to see my dentist and have new impressions taken.

Then there is the stress level.  I'm going to be seeing a new family medicine doctor next week and I want her to reevaluate my anxiety medication and see if maybe there is something that's a better fit for me.

So things are going to have to change moving forward.

A dear friend of mine (a PR professional who was working at an agency at the time) gave me some very real advice that I pass out as often as possible:

The first three months of a new job are terribly hard because you're just learning the system.  The second three months of a new job are horrible because you start to understand what you really got yourself into, but you're still figuring out your system to be successful.  At six months in, you've started to form your routine and you're beginning to feel like you're able to perform your required duties.

It's funny, in a meeting yesterday I had the mounting feeling of dread that I had so many responsibilities and so many deadlines over the next few days that I began to feel overwhelmed.  And then, an interesting thing happened, the thought occurred to me that I should put all of the pitching deadlines at the bottom of my daily task sheet at the beginning of each month so that I see them all and am reminded to chip away at them little by little.  Wow.  What do you know, I'm starting to come up with my own system for success and I've been there nearly 11 weeks.

Back in January, as I was lamenting the death of my personal life and the onslaught of stress and pressure, my dad told me that it takes roughly one year to become competent at a new job.  He promised me that by Thanksgiving I would feel 180 degrees different than I felt at that moment.

I know he's right, but sometimes I wish the timing of this opportunity had come six months earlier... but then again, I was able to accomplish SO MUCH for our wedding while I was working for my last company that maybe this is all for the best.  I will tell you this much, I LOVE my team and what I do.

I just need to remember that there are less than six months before our wedding, and I am still not in the physical shape I want to be in.  It's tough to leave Hunter alone for another hour and a half and get my workout in on weeknights, but hopefully Sam can help me pick up the slack there because I need to find a routine that gets me moving and commit to making healthy, vegetable laden dinners.

2014: Off to a Great Start!

I can hardly believe that 2014 is finally here!  

It's probably not a big surprise that the homestretch of 2013 was a little bit rough for me.  I'm not good with uncertainty and, unfortunately, there were a lot of unforeseen professional changes that happened during the holiday season.  

Even though I knew I at the time that losing my job was probably a blessing, I was surprised how much I was overcome by feelings of failure.  It was really difficult to emotionally divorce myself from all the marketing that my former company was doing, especially because they were either abandoning or seriously neglecting so many of the things I worked so hard to build.  

In the end, I stopped following the company social media pages and focused my attention on my future.

I got up the courage to approach my current employer at a holiday party we both attended.  I had interviewed with her team twice over the summer by my media relations skills are weak and they are a marketing and public relations agency that does a lot of pitching to media sources so they had reservations about bringing me on board.  At the party, the agency founder and agency director were both happy to see me and told me they'd been talking about me recently.  I took the opportunity to let them know I was no longer working with my previous company and that I'd appreciate them passing my name along if they heard of anyone looking for my skill set.  To my pleasant surprise, they expressed an interest in hiring me (again) and I offered to freelance for them a bit so that we could all feel out the situation.

The next day, she called me and asked me if I could start immediately.  We hammered out the details and I was in the office the following Monday.  

Surprisingly, I only freelanced for them three days before they made me an offer to come on board permanently.  I think it was partially my personality (I get along with the other team members very well) and partially my writing skills.  They had me drafting a lot of press releases, e-newsletters and social media posts during my freelance tenure and I think they really liked what they saw.  

So I moved right on into a full-time position with them and today I got handed a big Chinese New Year project to manage on behalf of my team.  To say that I'm thrilled would not do my emotions justice.  

I needed to draft two press releases, and my boss came in at 5 to see if I could have them done tomorrow.  I happily informed her I had already given one to the account director for review, and the other would be on his desk before I left the office.  She seemed very impressed and said, "That's wonderful, I am so glad you joined our team!"

"Me too," I told her. 

And things are going well in my personal life too!  I woke up yesterday and thought, "I'm getting married this year."  It was about a year ago that we picked our wedding date, and now we're just about seven and a half months away from the big day.  It's coming up fast.

Carina and I picked out the bridesmaids dresses over the holiday week while Sam and I were up in NorCal.  Jackie and Carina already have their measurements in, and Lindsay is going to head over to the salon tomorrow to get her measurements taken too.  I just need to follow up with Carrie and Michelle to make sure they remember to get their orders in by Sunday.  

I have the date for my bridal shower (in NorCal) set, we have an appointment to do the menu tasting for our wedding entrees, I have a list of bakeries we need to visit to taste wedding cake and talk pricing, and I am feeling really, really good about everything.

I still need to work on the invitation wording just a bit and then order all the invitations.  And I want to sit down with our florist again so I can work out some of the details with the flowers and decorations.  And then it's pretty much all done except picking out the boys' attire and getting our wedding bands made.  Obviously the little details like seating charts etc. are still to come, but those are things that will happen in July and we're still a LONG way off from then.

The other great thing is that I'm totally 100% recommitted to my fitness goals.  I didn't do so well in 2013, but I realize now that putting all my time and energy into my profession isn't the smartest thing to do because jobs come and go but your happiness and health lasts your whole lifetime and affects your lifestyle.  

So, on that high, high note, let me say that 2014 is going to be my best year yet!

Slowly Taking Over

Wedding planning is all-consuming.  I mean that in a really good way, but it's true!

I have been trying to take care of something wedding-related every weekend that we're home, but that's not as easy as it sounds.

We took advantage of our road trip up to Santa Barbara to listen to lots of wedding music, but didn't really make much progress with a formal playlist.

We interviewed officiants, but we can't decide which one to go with.

We have narrowed down our decision to two DJ companies, but we're having trouble scheduling a time to meet up with the possible DJs.

I wouldn't be worried except that our preferred videographer is already booked for our date, as was our preferred photographer.  So clearly people are already on their game for August 2014.  And if Sam had a regular job, this would be less of a scheduling issue, but he's about to start his more challenging rotation November through January.  Which means he won't have as much time to dedicate to planning during the week, and that's when the DJs want to get together.

Wonderful.  I guess if need be I can do some of this myself... but I really want Sam to be involved in our tasting and he is going to have be the driving force when we pick our live musicians.

One thing I haven't been doing enough of is focusing on my fitness plan.  I am simultaneously hopeful that Sam's longer hours this winter will make it easier for me to focus on losing weight and toning up for the wedding, and nervous that I'll be taking on a lot more responsibility and thus will be more stressed and less able to focus on myself.  The accountability is totally with me - so here's to focusing more on my health and less on the rest of the drama.

Especially because I think I found "the dress" on Saturday while I was shopping with Mom and Carina!

Fitness Update

So here's a fitness update for those of you keeping track at home.  I am doing FitOrbit with my former trainer, Amanda, who is a total stud and one of my fitness heroes.

I started with her about 4 weeks ago and I have lost a whopping 3 pounds so far (which I promptly put right back on and am now struggling to lose again).  But hey, that's a start!  And actually I have been building mad muscle.  My calves are looking pretty stacked again and just yesterday Sam was complimenting my shoulders and told me how much more toned they look since I started swimming once a week.  Imagine how amused I was when I told him that it wasn't from swimming once a week, it's from all the days I left weights and do Amanda's crazy circuits.  Hey, if he thinks swimming does it maybe it's not my place to burst his bubble.

My biggest challenges are portion control, snacking, and stress.  I do not handle stress well- I am a terrible emotional eater!  And even when I'm not overworked, under-slept or emotional drained, I still have a hard time stopping myself when I reach my portion limit.

The stress is a double whammy.  I am emotional so I am very likely to overeat and make poor food choices.  And on the other side of the coin, I never feel like exercising when I am really, really stressed.  The thought of having another "To Do List" item that needs checked off can really send me over the edge.

Earlier this week I was strapped and spread too thin working on a hard deadline for a project at work that involved going live with 28 new website pages for one of our newest products.  Sure enough, I was eating like I had PMS for about a week and I was working long hours and not spending as much time being active.  Now though, that's behind me.  And I am recommitting myself to the cause!

Not All Compliments Are Created Equal

I got home from work today and did my weigh lifting routine before heading to the gym.  I was a little later than usual (someone had to take a walk and do his business, Hunter!) but I figured it wouldn't be a big deal because our usual teacher wasn't out today.  Man, was I wrong.

I got to class and every single bike against the back wall was taken.  Every. Single. One.

Are you kidding me?  The one day I wear a snug-fitting Lululemon top to spin instead of a baggy t-shirt I am going to be on display to the people behind me.  Cue the self-consciousness.

I did what any girl would do- I immediately texted my girlfriends for support.  The responses were priceless.

My Texts:
Showed up late to spin today and couldn't get a back row bike- it's the first day I have worn a tight Lululemon (muffin top exposing) shirt.  FML.

Nobody stares at the ass in front of them... except me... right?

Turns out I am not the only one with a muffin top, thank God I have a nice rack.

Responses:
From Amy- "You have such great form that if anyone looks at your ass it's going to be because they are checking out your stance"

From Carina- "LOL ur all good.  Gym judgement is silly!!!"

From Sam- "That's what you get for having a muffin top!"

So what did I do?  I spun my little heart out!  I figured if I was going to be the chunky girl on the bike I could at least get a helluva workout in and have people respect me for that.  Our sub, who I've had before and I am convinced is a little nuts, is forevermore to be known as The Spin Nazi.  (Seinfeld shout-out!)  She is seriously hard work, but not as fun as Jen.

Well, about 10 minutes before class was over, I was sweating all over myself and prepping for an awesome finish to my workout.  I looked up and The Spin Nazi is totally grinning at me and mouthing something that seemed encouraging although I couldn't tell what she was saying.  The next thing I knew, she called me out for having great form.

Wow.  There is no higher compliment when you are working your butt off than to have the group fitness instructor acknowledge your amazingness in front of the entire class.  Yes, it's pretty damn rewarding.  And honestly, I worked even harder that last 10 minutes after she recognized my effort.

Girlfriends

Sometimes all that a girl needs is a day full of pampering with her girlfriends.

Sam was on call over night yesterday- he only has 3 calls left in his 2nd year of residency.  WOOHOO!

A last minute surprise, Carrie had the day off and decided to come down and visit for the day.  Carrie and I met in college, in a Spanish class during our junior year, and it turned out we were both Communications majors and had a couple of classes together for our major.  I think we took ALMOST every Communications class after that together- excluding the ones that one or the other had already taken.  She was a bright spot for me in school and since graduation I have really appreciating having Carrie and her fantastic family so close to Sam and I.  They have been so supportive of me and very welcoming and have always made me feel like I have family here in Southern California.

We had manicures in the morning at my favorite nail salon, grabbed lunch at The Counter (which is arguably my favorite burger place EVER), and then went down to my hair appointment with Jenn.  I'm a blond again!  I think Sam's happy but I'm REALLY blond- like it's going to take some getting used to for both of us.

We came home and took Hunter for a walk so I could get in my exercise.  I swapped the heavy cardio and weight lifting that I was supposed to do yesterday with the walk Amanda had scheduled for me today.  Even on my pampered days I can't take a day off from my health and fitness regiment.

We had a bit of a GNO after the appointment.  We went to The Daily Grill for dinner and picked up a dish for Sam that we brought over to him at the hospital.  Carrie hadn't ever been to the UCI Medical Center so Sam gave her the whole tour.

Being with Carrie made me feel so much better about all the stress in my life.  It is amazing what girlfriends can do for your happiness.

Now I'm exhausted from my workout and making dinner for us tonight and tomorrow night.  Hey, planning ahead is a good thing!  My legs still feel sore, but I do think I'm better off than had I skipped my workout and napped ALL afternoon.  As it was, I napped with Hunter for an hour before hitting the gym.

Anyway, here's to a great week!

Rejected

Five weeks ago I was hopeful.  I had been feeling restless about my future and wanted affirmation that
things were going to be okay and that I was headed in the right direction.  I thought I might be standing on the precipice of change.  I thought I wanted things to change.

In the weeks since I have been less and less sure that I desire a change.  There is so much comfort in what we know.  I waited patiently and impatiently depending on how my day was going.

Finally, I started convincing myself that the outcome doesn't matter.  My life is great, I am lucky and I don't need more than I have.

Today I the equivalent of a rejection letter from a college admissions office.  Wow.

I am surprised at how disappointed I am.  How personal the rejection is.  How much I want to go home and crawl into my bed and just escape to sleep.

Instead, I shoved my face full of white cheddar rice cakes and totally blew my calories for today on FitOrbit.  Smooth, Gi.  Real smooth.  Can you say "emotional eating" with me?  This is such a hurdle for me- I self-soothe with food.  It's a lose-lose for me.  Which is so frustrating!  I am upset and feel badly about myself and then I go and screw up my fitness plan which only makes me feel worse.  Cue the vicious, depressive cycle.

So what did I do?  I messaged Amanda and acknowledged that today I failed at something I hoped to succeed at.  And I owned my caloric SNAFU.  Yes, I overate today.  But am I going to throw in the towel, skip my workout, buy a pint of ice cream on the way home and wallow in my self-pity?

Hell no!

I am getting out of here and hitting the gym to complete my daily workout!  And then, I am going to eat  a healthy, balanced dinner- I am not going to make myself feel guilty and try to skip dinner.  (Yes, I really have done that before, but no, it is rarely successful and usually just means I am going to snack later.)  Today is ONE DAY in my week, month, year, life.  It's okay that it wasn't perfect, I have another chance tomorrow and life will go on.

Like Lead

So I started back with my amazing personal trainer from a couple of years ago, Amanda.  We make a fabulous team- she pushes me but is like a teammate not a drill sergeant.

So anyway, I have been trying (and failing) to lose weight on my own for about 16 months.  Due to some upcoming life events, Sam thought it would be nice to get me a personal trainer.  I think he was envisioning that I'd work out once a week with a trainer at our gym, but I had other plans.  I immediately texted Amanda and told her it was time to whip me back into shape.

These days (and actually, I think back when we were first training too) Amanda is doing online training via FitOrbit.  So I signed up.  I got online and I filled out the surveys and I submitted my credit card.  Woohoo!  So as of June 1, 2013 I am back on my health kick and fitness plan.

Let me tell you, it has not been easy.  Today for example, I was incredibly hungry.  Just ravenous.  Probably because I had a breakfast backfire where my intended meal was just not going to cut it.  So I tried to hold out until lunch but I ended up eating my lunch around 11, dozing off around 1, and having second lunch around 2.  Oops.

Good thing my workout tonight was INTENSE!  I did 30 minutes of Sculpt Cycle weights, walked Hunter for 40 minutes, and then hit up my new favorite Spin Class (Tuesday nights at LA Fitness with Jen).  Exhausted is an understatement.  I mean seriously.  I can barely move.

My arms are still sore from the insane "Just Push" arm circuit I did on Saturday morning.  Now I have legs like lead from my workouts yesterday and today.  I don't even know how I am going to take Hunter down for his before-bed potty walk.  I could have easily gone to soak in the jacuzzi for a while this evening... but I didn't have enough time.

Thankfully tomorrow is a pyramid swim set so I should have some chance of stretching out my arms and legs and doing some lengthening after all this tightening.  And since I'll already be down in the pool with my suit on I definitely foresee some soaking time so that my achy muscles can recover a bit.

Eye on the prize, kid.  Eye on the prize.

Just Barely

Today was one of those days.

You know the kind.

My boss and I are at odds regarding the best use of some video footage we shot two weeks ago.  I just barely got a hold of myself and redirected our focus on the common goal we share before the debate devolved into some kind of fight.  Just barely.

I barely contained a bout of road rage while Sam was driving us to the gym.  I wasn't even driving.  I wanted to scream, but I held it in.  Just barely.

During spin class I almost cussed out the teacher and left early.  I just barely contained myself and redirected my frustration into the workout.  Just barely.  It's a good thing I stuck it out because I am now exhausted and completely devoid of frustration.

I also really liked the class- great music, good vibe coming from the instructor and overall a great workout.  Not too hard, but a steady, consistent hardcore workout the entire hour.  I went up to the instructor after the class to compliment her and see which other nights she teaches.  Unfortunately she said this is her only LA Fitness class, the rest of the week she teaches down at a studio in San Clemente.  She told me she does get to sub a lot and told me if I gave her my email she'd let me know when she's subbing.  I gave her my email and cell phone number so she can text me too.  She said she knows how it feels to be disappointed with group exercise instructors and that's what motivated her to become a spin teacher herself- I told her I'd had that thought myself.  Sam might get ahold of that idea and run with it.  Although I am not sure I have the time and energy to devote to teaching class- I almost feel like I need to focus all my attention on my own fitness and workouts so I can succeed in my weight loss goals.

And boy did I get a good work out tonight!  Holy Jesus I was having a tough time walking up the stairs tonight after class.  I literally turned to Sam and told him he was on Hunter's potty duty tonight because I don't think I can go up and down the stairs again.

Side Note: A sign of a great spin workout is definitely having trouble and feeling leg fatigue while going up stairs after a workout and the following day.

Now I'm trying to stay awake so I can fold yet another load of Sam's laundry and start on the guest room's sheets and towels.  I'm awake, but just barely.  I guess I'll have to hold off on the guest room for another night.  As for now, I think I'm going to roll out my legs on my foam roller and head to bed.

I think I can make it.

Just barely.

Love for Boston

This morning I was thinking good thoughts for my fitness mentor, personal trainer and (above all else) friend, Amanda, as she competed in the Boston Marathon.  I was so proud of her for overcoming the health obstacles she has faced during her training and was so impressed she had made the qualifying time.  Little did I know that a few short hours later I would be hearing harrowing reports of explosions near the finish line and wonder if she was one of the victims.

I am lucky to count the number of times I have really been worried about a friend's life on one hand.  Today, as I heard reports about the injured runners and spectators, I immediately thought of Amanda and her family.  I pulled up Facebook to check if she'd posted anything since the explosions and was preparing to send her a text message to check in on her when I saw on my newsfeed that she and her family were safe and sound and away from the danger zone.  Relief.  Completely and total relief.

I posted on my Facebook tonight: "I am so thankful that my Boston marathoner is safe, and my heart goes out the families and friends who weren't so lucky today."

After getting home this evening, I began pouring over the articles, images and video from the scene.  Nothing was more horrific than the video and images of the young man who had both legs blown off below the knee- his left tibia was exposed several inches where the flesh had completely been taken off before abruptly ending.  To say the scene was gruesome would not do it justice.

The thought that an 8-year old boy lost his life sickens me.  That child had his entire life ahead of him and thanks to the sociopath(s) behind this terrorism his bright future has been snuffed out.  How unbelievably tragic.  Just heart-wrenching.

Then there is this... the complete lack of humanity from the Westboro Baptist Church whose parish is threatening to boycott the funerals of the victims because they believe the bombings are directly related to Massachusetts's gay marriage laws.  WTF Westboro?  What is wrong with you!?  I believe in a forgiving God, a compassionate God, a God that would NOT kill an 8-year old boy because of gay-marriage laws.  It makes me sick.

And as I sat here venting to Sam about the horror that happened today, he looked at me and said, "Things like this happen all the time."  I was outraged.  I was offended.  And then I realized he speaks the truth.  Everyday Sam sees patients who have experienced tragedy- often at the fault of someone else.  Victims of car accidents, fireworks, stupid horseplay, etc. who watch their entire life change in an instant.  And many of those people are no different than the Boston marathoners; just going about their lives and then BAM- nothing will ever be the same.  Talk about putting things into perspective.  Right?  Makes my problems seem so insignificant!

So tonight, I am thankful for the health and safety of my loved ones in Boston and around the world.  I am thankful for the people who tended to the wounded and who sought to clear the area of other potentially harmful devices.  The ray of hope we experience in crisis is the humanity we see in the 'helpers'.

Training

Bubba stopped me on my way into the gym yesterday and wanted to train me for an hour but I told him that I was on my way into spin class.  He asked me to come back after class and talk to him.  So I did.  

Turns out it was a bit of a sales pitch and he wants me to buy into their personal training program.  Hmmm, I see.  So we talked a bit about my fitness goals and my history with training and exercise and then he asked me to come in tonight at 6pm for a workout.  

I knew going into this whole thing that he was going to try to pitch me on a $140 training program working out with their trainers once a week.  Oh wow.  For that much money I could do a lot of stuff, and frankly I am not that impressed with the trainers I see on the floor when I'm coming to and from spin classes.  

Yes, I want to get back to training... I need to begin weight lifting more.  I need to build up my muscle mass to help me burn calories and fat and get myself back into good shape.  I need to focus more on my core and my upper body instead of letting them get their entire workout at spin class.  Today, I go forward, but not with Bubba.

Side note: In Making the Cut is going pretty well and I'm getting to try LOTS of new recipes.  The book says I should be eating cottage cheese.  I have always been kind of iffy about the way cottage cheese looks, so I've shied away from it.  But today I found "small curd" cottage cheese.  I had it with strawberries for dessert and it was pretty good!  It's kind of like cream cheese only lumpy and more watery.  But still, I was impressed.  it's not sour like yogurt which was really, really nice.  

Cleanse: Take 2

So I'm doing another cleanse with my former (and still fabulous) personal trainer turned friend Amanda.  This time, however, I know that I am committed to a 7-day cleanse followed by an intense 30-days based on Jillian Michaels' book Making the Cut.

How is it going?  Well, I have to say that egg whites are NOT my favorite thing en mass.  I am supposed to be eating 6 each morning and I'm lucky if I can get 4 down.  It's not that I don't like eggs, but I am too lazy to get up early enough to make them and eat them at home.  Thus, I am bringing them to work and eating them when they are slightly cooled.  Not super appetizing as it turns out.

Other than the eggs though, things are going okay.  There is a LOT of variation with the meals on this plan compared with the one we did last year- but I do miss my heirloom tomato, arugula, hummus and Ezekiel bread sandwiches.  And, super plus, this one uses dandelion root tea to help purge extra water weight and reduce bloating.  Apparently dandelion tea has lots of benefits and is also used for detox purposes and it cleanses blood and improves organ health.  Who knew?!  It does taste a little earthy, but it's like ice cream compared to that horrible hemp protein powder I bought last year.  I had to replace that crap with Bluebonnet brand protein powder which was at least edible.

The only downside is that my energy is completely depleted.  Seriously.  Like I was sitting on the couch last night at 8:20 and was about to pass out so I made Sam put on True Blood so I could make it until at least 9:00.  (Side note: Sam started us on True Blood over the weekend and were on Season 2)

Anyway, not to dwell on the negatives or get off topic: the cleanse ends on Sunday and the real work begins on Monday.  Jillian Michaels has 30 days of food scheduled by meal for each kind of metabolism- fast, average, and slow.  According to the quiz I took, I have average metabolism and am a "B-group" person.

I have tried so many things to lose weight and my most successful thing was religiously following Weight Watchers.  I guess I am just hoping that I can lose the 10-20 pounds Jillian's method promises to shed and then I can get back to wearing my clothes better.  I just really want to get rid of the 20 pounds I've gained since I started working again in November 2011... preferably before Jackie's wedding on May 4 when I need to squeeze myself into a bridesmaid's dress and walk down an aisle.  Hmmmm, now that wedding season is around the corner I am thinking I probably should have been more serious about weight loss starting January 1 like I had hoped to be.  Better late than never I hope!

What They Didn't Tell Me

So here I am, it's 9:09 PM on Tuesday night and I am flying to Vegas tomorrow for my first-ever Sin City business trip.  What am I doing up?  Packing?  Preparing for our big awards dinner tomorrow night?  No.  I am up washing Sam's White Coat.

Why am I up doing laundry at this hour?  Doesn't Sam have two White Coats?

Well yes, he does in fact have two White Coats; however, the hospital laundry service got some kind of pink stain on one of his coats and I just can't quite get it entirely out.  Ergo, Sam refuses to wear that particular coat.  Ergo, we have to do laundry after work when Sam spills his freakin' coffee down the front of his coat.  Goddamn it.

Because Sam is post-call tonight, he was pretty comatose by 8 when Hunter and I got home from his makeup training session with Kate.  So he got up off the couch, rinsed off his dishes and put them in the dishwasher (huge victory post-call, let me tell you!) and then realized he had forgotten to toss his coat in the washing machine.

So now, I am awake, watching The Adjustment Bureau while Hunter naps on my lap.  It was a great afternoon for us- the first afternoon walk of our year.  And I even jogged a little bit!  I need to get back in shape, and these little jaunts are just one part.  I am going to shoot for the morning spin class tomorrow at 9:15 before our plane leaves.  And then there's another spin class Thursday evening.  Back in the saddle for me!

March 4 starts the big Making the Cut program with Amanda, my former personal trainer.  She is hosting a variation of the Jillian Michaels diet + workout plan.  I'm kind of nervous but also really, really excited!

Pumpkin Spice Happiness

Yesterday we had some proof of global warming: November 4th and 92 degrees at the hottest point yesterday.  Good God, Sam and I were running errands and it got REALLY warm.  We ran to Costco & Ralph's and when we made it back to the apartment we hunkered down to cool off for a while.  Just after 3 PM we decided to take a walk with Hunter to get him (and us) some fresh air and exercise. 

It was fun to walk with Sam for a change- usually it's just me and Hunter after work because Sam doesn't get home until after it's dark.  That, and he is so unreliable that it's better for me to take Hunter ASAP when I get home and then it's out of the way and we have the rest of the night to hang out. 

But we took advantage of having Sam home, and after the walk, which only lasted about an hour, the boys did something that Hunter and I rarely do post-walk. 
They passed out on the floor.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging, but boy can those guys sleep!  From about 4:30-6 they were out cold.  I was okay with that though, I got to do some journal writing and got Sam's laundry through the wash-dry cycle so that he just had to fold it all before dinner. 

 

We had friends over for dinner, another couple who went to UCI for both medical school and residency.  I always forget, until the 11th hour, that he keeps Kosher.  Thankfully, a quick call to Sam's mom and she had some great tips- go with a vegetarian and dairy menu.  Luckily we'd been to Costco and I had a bunch of carrots and asparagus which I baked with oil, salt, and pepper.  Then I baked sweet potatoes and yams, and made white rice.  We also had breaded chicken, which wasn't Kosher, so the fourth chicken breast got split in four and stuck into tupperwares with white rice, potatoe, and the baked veggies.   Hello packed lunch!  Anyway, I think maybe next time we'll make homemade veggie pizza or something, Sue said that is a great go-to for Kosher meals that she's used time and time again.

 

Oh, and JACKPOT, I found the Coffeemate Pumpkin Spiced Creamer at Ralph's which means that this morning, when I got up at 4:30 with Sam thanks to "Fall Back", I enjoyed a delicious Pumpkin Spiced Latte that was only 4 points and cents on the dollar which is really great when compared to the Peet's version (medium is 6 points, and it's $4).  YAY!