Bridal Wisdom

This meme pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now... only 10 days to go!

Just a couple more things to knock off the To Do list and I'll be good to go.

And Xanax totally counts and "Something Blue."

Open Bar Wedding

ONE MONTH FROM TODAY!!!

I can't believe how fast the time has gone by!

And having an open bar was the one thing my Dad requested... 

Hey, when you're footing the bill we accommodate you as best we can!

Bridezilla

So, I finally had my first major bridezilla moment.

Sam had asked me to book our string trio a few weeks ago.  I emailed our signed contract and method of payment to the contact person Sam had been working with.  The person responded to me, and I assumed that meant they had gotten the attached contract.

No sir.  It did not.

For the past two weeks, Sam has been mentioning to me that the payment never came through on his credit card.  He had been copied on the email, which I reminded him, and I suggested that he follow up.

Today, Sam heard back from the vendor that they hadn't received our payment information.  Which Sam then texted me.  Oh no, sir.  Think again.  I went back into my emails and forwarded the email I had sent containing the contract and payment again copying Sam and sending it to our contact person.

I wrote a slightly snotty, aggressive email about how I "assumed" that the attachment had been received when the contact responded to my original email but would someone please let me know the payment had been received.

I then called Sam and in a rather terse tone, let him know that he'd been copied on the email and should now follow up and confirm with the contact that it had been received.  It was one of the few times that I have heard Sam recoil on the phone.  I am relatively sure it's the first time I've had a full-blown bridezilla moment because Sam quite literally said, "Okay, I think we're okay," and then got the hell off the phone.

The vendor quickly responded that all was well and he'd missed the attachment.

And it was not my proudest moment, but I am assured that many of us brides lose our sense of sanity at one point of another and it's perfectly normal.  For now, I'm going to try to get the crazy locked down and keep trucking on my To Do lists.

Summer 2014

I love summer, but 2014 is going to be a big one!

This summertime, I am a bride, having the experience of a lifetime, surrounded by my family and friends and overwhelmed with the unconditional love that has been so prevalent during the wedding planning process.  

Our wedding is set for August and so far almost everything we've experienced has been fun - at least to some degree!  We're planning our wedding, one of the sweetest chapters in our love story, and looking toward the future.  Yes, wedding planning has been hard work, but life is full of hard work!  That's what makes us appreciate the fun times!  

Over the past 10 months of our engagement, Sam and I have done a lot of growing up.  We've really begun to make plans for our future together as our own little family unit and I am so excited to see what's in store for us!  

It's Really Happening...

Well, there is no turning back now... I mailed out our wedding invitations this afternoon.

Sam and I spent Saturday night stuffing envelopes and on Sunday we sealed them up and worked on the ceremony details - procession and recession bridal party order, the music we want the string trio to play, who is going to do which readings, etc.  

The little details are killing me now.  There is SO MUCH to keep track of, and so much that needs to be addressed between now and August that can't be completed until after our RSVPs come in.  That is really frustrating to me being that I abhor procrastination and yet I can't get started on things like the seating chart, the place cards, etc. until we know who is coming.

Back to Workouts

The bridal bootcamp has been underway for weeks now, but unfortunately I haven't been as on my game as I should have been... I'm going to blame the long hours at my new job.  

Well, two weeks ago I emailed my personal trainer, the wonderful Amanda, and let her know what my pain points are as far as not having a regular work schedule.  I told her that I'm going to make fitness a much bigger priority and focus on a manageable work life balance.  And she helped me out with some awesome workouts to help get me back into shape.  

First up on the list?  I started getting my act together for spin class on Mondays and Wednesdays at 6:45 p.m.  I cannot even begin to give Sam enough credit for how much he's enabled me to focus on myself.  Sam's on a really easy rotation (think reliably short hours) at Kaiser so he's been able to get home to let Hunter out on the nights I head to the gym directly from work.  

Additionally, Amanda has given me some really handy workouts that involve walking the dog - which is a win win for us because it gives us a chance to do something as a family (Sam joins us) and we also get to involve Hunter.  He has been sleeping through the night A LOT better with all this exercise.  

The best news of all is that I've gotten more than 10,000 steps and more than 30 minutes of intense activity for the last five days in a row counting today.  I know it's not going to happen over night, but this is the second week in a row that I've made it to two spin classes.  Let me tell you, my legs are BURNING, which is a good thing because in the simplest of explanations: the muscles in your legs are the largest, most powerful muscles in your body thus they are capable of burning the most energy aka fat.  

I'm also working my upper body so that my arms and shoulders are as sculpted as possible when I don my beautiful strapless wedding dress in less than five months!  I can't believe how quickly the months are ticking down...

I'm not sure if it's partly because of the Lexapro, but I don't have quite the same level of agitation and stress at work these days.  Not to say I'm not committed, but I don't feel the need to push and give my job all 110% of my energy.  And it's been making me really happy to spend some time on myself, improving my fitness and getting back into shape. 

Wedding Planning Compromises

It's funny, and probably a good sign, that I don't mind compromising with Sam on wedding details.  I am really, really proud of him and how involved he has been in planning things like our invitations (which he seriously was SO meticulous about I was shocked!) and meeting different officiants.

He's also been really involved with my family of his own volition, which is really nice.  Not that Sam wasn't supportive of my family, but he's been really tight on free time and he doesn't get to spend enough time with his family so my family sometimes ends up taking a backseat unless they come down to visit us in Irvine - which they do A LOT and we really do appreciate that immensely!  

But lately, since even before we got engaged, Sam's been doing little things as well as big things.  He's making the effort to see my family and celebrate big milestones with us the way I have done with his family over the last several years.  He came with me for Papa's 80th birthday when we got the entire Santi family together and he opted to stay at my parents' house one night when we were in town last weekend.  

He has been so great helping me manage my stress, too.  I was getting a little overwhelmed trying to please everyone and mediate every decision we made, so Sam stepped up and agreed that he would be the spokesperson for his side of the family regarding wedding stuff while I was the spokesperson for my side of the family.  That's reduced my stress a lot and makes me even more sure about making this huge commitment to Sam next year.  He is a great partner, teammate and friend.  I am incredibly lucky to spend my life with him.

Wedding Planning Update

So, wedding planning has kind of taken over our lives lately.  I suppose that's to be expected, but it still amazes me all the details that have to be taken care of.

Sam keeps telling me that I'm planning so far in advance, but the reality is I am focused on getting the big contracts out of the way so that we can focus on the little details like our DJ's playlist, the lighting we want during the reception, ceremony specifics like readings and vows.

Things we've already booked:

1. Florist
2. Photographer
3. Videographer
4. Venue
5. DJ/Emcee/Lighting
6. Officiant
7. Hotels for Guests

Things we still have to decide or finalize:

1. Cake (tastings and final selection)
2. Live music (ceremony and cocktails)
3. Menu (tastings and final selection)
4. Bridal party attire
5. Wedding Dress (purchase)
6. Invitations (order)
7. Rehearsal 

We already picked out the invitations, we just need to go in and officially order them once we have our menu items selected.  We need to set up a time to do our menu tastings, but that's all part of the venue so I'm not super stressed about that.  I think I picked out my wedding dress, and I'm planning on ordering it in December when I'm in NorCal, but I have an appointment down here to try on dresses with Jackie in two weeks.  We're also hopefully going to pick out the bridesmaids dresses during her visit.  

The cake is the last of the big stuff that needs to be taken care of.  So we need to make some appointments to do some tastings at different bakeries.  If we don't find live music, our DJ can handle the ceremony and venue does live music on their patio which is just below our cocktail balcony.  So that's not really crucial to the wedding happening.

I am just so excited to start our marriage and become Sam's wife!

Our Officiant is Official!

One of the biggest things stressing me out about wedding planning was that we hadn't found an officiant.

Thankfully that ended on Tuesday night at Starbucks in San Juan Capistrano!

Sam had found a couple of additional officiants for us to interview on The Knot and Tom was quick to respond and easy to set up an appointment with.

We were really impressed with how professional Tom looked and how he carried himself.  He was pretty much exactly what we were looking for!

Tom's an elementary school principal, but he has been doing weddings on the side for 6 years starting when his cousin asked him to perform their ceremony on a family vacation in Mexico.  Tom pursued a career in marriage and family therapy before he went into education, which was an unexpected bonus because he definitely gave us a little mini counseling session and didn't seem preachy or judgmental.

He also shared a lot about his own family and assured us that it's totally normal for couples to struggle setting boundaries with parents and in-laws as they enter into marriage.  He told us that from his own personal experience he cannot impress upon us enough the importance of setting boundaries with our parents and families from the very beginning of our married life.

He reinforced the crappy truth that people's feelings are going to get hurt by us setting boundaries whether we do it now or we do it when we have our own kids.  He said there was so much unnecessary drama with his parents based on his own inability to set boundaries with them and it really hurt his wife and his relationship with his parents.

That totally hit home for Sam and I, because we have two AMAZING families that would love to spend every second with us.  Unfortunately, we haven't been able to master the fine art of being in two places at once, so we're trying to split our holidays and time between our families.

If it were just a matter of our parents and siblings, that would be less difficult, but we have three extended families to fit in as well.  Sam's mom's side of the family spends almost every holiday all together, which is a bit daunting for me because I worry about the expectations they will have for Sam and I.  My parents split holidays between my mom's family (grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins) and my dad's family (grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousins).  We spent Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with one side, Christmas Day and Easter with the other, and split up Mother's Day and Father's Day.

I think my family is prepared to have Sam and I MIA at family functions and holiday events now that they have to share me (more formally) with the Galles.  It's tough for me though, because I realize that I'm going to miss out on a lot.  We'll only be spending 50% of the holidays with my side of our family.  Of that 50%, probably 33% will be with the Santis, 33% with the Hunters and 33% with just my immediate family.

I am really, really excited about getting married, and I'm sure Sam and I are lucky to have been working on this whole family integration thing over the last 10+ years.  I just wish it was easier.

Slowly Taking Over

Wedding planning is all-consuming.  I mean that in a really good way, but it's true!

I have been trying to take care of something wedding-related every weekend that we're home, but that's not as easy as it sounds.

We took advantage of our road trip up to Santa Barbara to listen to lots of wedding music, but didn't really make much progress with a formal playlist.

We interviewed officiants, but we can't decide which one to go with.

We have narrowed down our decision to two DJ companies, but we're having trouble scheduling a time to meet up with the possible DJs.

I wouldn't be worried except that our preferred videographer is already booked for our date, as was our preferred photographer.  So clearly people are already on their game for August 2014.  And if Sam had a regular job, this would be less of a scheduling issue, but he's about to start his more challenging rotation November through January.  Which means he won't have as much time to dedicate to planning during the week, and that's when the DJs want to get together.

Wonderful.  I guess if need be I can do some of this myself... but I really want Sam to be involved in our tasting and he is going to have be the driving force when we pick our live musicians.

One thing I haven't been doing enough of is focusing on my fitness plan.  I am simultaneously hopeful that Sam's longer hours this winter will make it easier for me to focus on losing weight and toning up for the wedding, and nervous that I'll be taking on a lot more responsibility and thus will be more stressed and less able to focus on myself.  The accountability is totally with me - so here's to focusing more on my health and less on the rest of the drama.

Especially because I think I found "the dress" on Saturday while I was shopping with Mom and Carina!

Welcome to Orange County Fall!

My little guy is such a handsome puppy!

Fall has finally arrived here in Irvine and I couldn't be happier!  

Fall makes me think of Northern California and I love celebrating the change of the seasons.  And now that we're into October, Sam and I are anticipating Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas.  

It rained yesterday for the first time this fall and it was magical.  The smell of the wet pavement and dirt.  The way the air has a bite and chill to it.  Maybe this fall is especially magical because I'm celebrating my engagement to the most amazing future-husband in the world.  

And wedding planning is going fantastically.  This week we pulled the trigger on a videographer and a DJ/Emcee who will also handle our lighting.  So now we've got a couple more big things crossed off our list.  The only things that we have left are to decide on an officiant, string trio or quartet for the ceremony, the cake, our menu, a hairdresser, a makeup artist and my wedding dress.

My sister is going to be in NorCal this weekend and she and my mom and I are going to check out a bridal salon that has "the dress".  There's been one dress in all my perusing that I keep coming back to and thinking that it's just perfect.  Yes, I'm nervous about what will happen when I put it on, but I am really excited to share this moment with my mom and sister.

First Dance Idea

So I'm thinking about using this as our first dance... it still needs to pass Sam's approval, but I do think that it would be a nice song and it's very pretty and classy without being Etta James (which I love, but Margaux and Pete just used that at their wedding and it's a BIT more appropriate for them than for us.)  Also, I think it would be pretty easy to take some dance lessons and choreograph a very nice dance to this song.  

I also have to work in the recessional song (and get Sam's approval for) "From This Moment" by Shania Twain.  Now there's a song that was practically written for that moment in a person's life.  We'll be introduced for the first time as husband and wife and then the lyrics will fade in, "From this moment life has begun, from this moment you are the one, right beside you is where I belong, From this moment on..."

Decisions, Decisions

There are probably going to be many moments over the course of the rest of my life that I think to myself, "wow, I can't believe this is the guy I got to marry."  Luckily, those moments are already happening.

This past weekend, we spent Saturday doing a bunch of wedding stuff that needed to get taken care of sooner rather than later.  We scouted two very different, but very nice officiants and prepped our invitations at Papyrus.

Wow, was I blown away by Sam's involvement in all the planning.  Not that Sam hasn't been involved, but mostly he has been so focused on work and relaxing in his free time that I seem to be doing a lot of the recon for our wedding and he's been picking from the options I bring to him.  (Honestly, I thought that's how most grooms are, but maybe I was wrong!)

Anyway, Sam was so talkative with the officiants I was almost looking at him like, "Who are you and what have you done with my fiancé?"  At one point, Stephanie looked at me and said, "So, what about you, Gianna?"  It was one of the first times that someone has had to shut Sam up so I can get a work in edgewise.

And then we went to Papyrus to check out invitations.  That blew me away even more.  I was surprised that Sam was so involved and wanted to customize the invitations completely - pick his own paper, fonts, colors etc.  So much for going with something they had stock!  And as annoyed as I was at first, probably because I hadn't eaten yet, I was also very aware that I am incredibly lucky to have someone who cares so much about this moment in our lives that he wants to be involved and make everything as perfect as he possibly can.

Which became even more apparent when we met with the second officiant who is a Reverend and brings a lot of spirituality and experience to officiating weddings.  I have to say, it was Sam who first broke the silence in the car and said that he thought we should really consider having the Rev. perform our wedding.  There were a few too many "God" mentions for my taste, but I know what Sam was getting at.  There was a certain heaviness sitting there with that man.  As he spoke I felt my spine tingling and it kind of hit me all of the sudden that we are getting married... as in this isn't just a big party, there is a serious commitment going on.

Of course I know we're making a commitment, but we've been together so long that it sometimes doesn't feel like we need to go through the pomp and circumstance that is a ceremony to make our love official.  That said, in that room, it did hit me suddenly that this is going to be our one wedding day for the rest of our lives and we owe it to ourselves to take it seriously.

Even if we don't go with the Reverend, I am glad we met with him.  If we go with Stephanie, Sam and I will be better prepared to make this a serious (and lighthearted) ceremony that carries the appropriate weight for the moment while celebrating the unconditional love we share and our love story - the journey that got us here.

A Second Full-Time Job

Woah, wedding planning is slowly taking over my life.  Not that I'm complaining, and I'm not overwhelmed (yet), but it's definitely taking up the majority of my free-time.

Even little things, like getting the room block together for the resort we're getting married at, have become bigger projects than I anticipated.  Thankfully, Sam's been wonderful so far and only chimes in when I have some options for him to choose from or when he feels really strongly about something - which is rarely the case.

The one recurring point of contention is the officiant for our ceremony.  The rabbi that married Sam's parents is still alive, and Sue has been pressuring me to have him marry us for what seems like the last six years.  To my credit, I have firmly stood my ground that I feel uncomfortable having the rabbi who married her perform our ceremony because the priest who married my parents is also also still alive.  Beyond the officiant, I don't think it would be fair to either side of the family to choose to be married in a religious ceremony when there are such varying degrees of religious commitment in our families.  Sam's dad is agnostic, his mom was raised by a Jewish father and Irish Catholic mother, my father grew up Catholic, my mother converted to Catholicism to get married in the Catholic church and both my parents attended Catholic high schools and a Catholic college.  Because of this, choosing an officiant is was one of the main things I have been dreading about wedding planning since long before we were engaged.

I have done more than my part to learn and celebrate the Jewish holidays and customs, but, despite pressure from Sam's mom,  I have been adamantly opposed to converting to Judaism.  I would never dream of asking Sam to give up his family customs in favor of mine, and I think it's insensitive that I would be put in the position where I would feel pressured to do so.  

Luckily, Sam is not pressuring me about having a Jewish wedding or asking the rabbi to perform our wedding (yet).  The rabbi will be performing the ceremony at the wedding we attend on Sunday, so it will give Sam and I an opportunity to see him in action.  Sam has promised his mom that we'll meet the rabbi before we make any decisions, but he has been very careful not to commit us to anything or make any comments for or against the rabbi.

To help us make our decision, we have appointments later this month with two well respected officiants who are local to the area and very comfortable performing interfaith marriages.  It's my hope that we will click with one of them and this will save me from having to compromise on something as big as who will preside over Sam and I committing ourselves to one another for the rest of our lives.  Obviously there will be compromises I have to make over the next couple of months, but this isn't one that I'm comfortable with and I don't feel like this is something I can brush off without having serious regret later.

The Guest List

So far, the worst part about wedding planning is, without a doubt, the guest list.  Obviously we have two families that need to be accommodated as well as ten years worth of mutual friends and two lifetimes of best friends.  It all adds up to a lot of people.

And that is the crux of our dilemma.  Where to make the cuts.  Where are the natural dividing lines of social circles?  As the bride, I feel like it's my responsibility to bridge the gap between my parents and Sam, who in turn will have to head up the conversations with his parents.  It's a well-rehearsed, choreographed dance that Sam and I are managing these days.  I suppose all couples go through a bit of this, especially with a fixed budget and limited venue capacity, but that doesn't ease my anxiety.

I am still in the honeymoon phase of wedding planning; I want to please everyone.  I am told by former brides that this phase will wear off... and hopefully that will happen soon.  I can't imagine going through the next 10 months of planning trying to make my mom, Sam's mom, Sam and I happy.  That sounds completely exhausting!

So for now, as we try to cut our list down to the maximum venue capacity, I am torn between making Sam and I happy, making my parents happy, and making Sam's parents happy.

Wedding Planning

I am so incredibly excited to be a bride!  Obviously this is (hopefully) the experience of a lifetime for any couple, and Sam and I have been waiting a really long time for this.  From the invitations to the decorations to the food to the cake to the hotels our guests are going to stay at - I am really excited to do everything!  

So far planning the invasion of Normandy (which is what my Nonna and I are affectionately calling the wedding planning process) has been going really smoothly.  I suppose that we're lucky because we already started this whole process so many months ahead of time but here's some of the stuff we're thinking of:

My Side Kick

My constant companion throughout all the wedding planning and organizing has been little Hunter.

He is so patient and loving and affectionate... I couldn't imagine a better side kick!  Especially since Sam has been busy with work and on vacation since we got engaged.  And Hunter obviously loves every decision I make.  :-)

But seriously, tonight as I was copying 100 to-do items from The Knot website to an excel spreadsheet to send off to both sets of parents, Hunter hung out right next to me.  He snuggled up with me, he played a little fetch and when Sam had to go into the hospital to admit a patient, Hunter curled up and went to sleep next to me.

All Alone at Home

Okay, so here I am by myself.  Well I am hanging out with Hunter, so I'm not really alone.

I have been spending lots of time wedding planning with my family and married girlfriends.  It has been a complete blast!

That said, I do miss Sammy.  I am excited for him to come home this weekend and check out the invitations and the website and hear about all the cool stuff we're going to have at our wedding.  SO EXCITED!

I am just really looking forward to all the fun we're going to have over the next year and throughout our lifetime!

And for the first time in my life, I have started watching Say Yes To The Dress.  OMG, what has become of me!?!  I guess this is what I get since Sam accidentally took my laptop to Thailand instead of his own!!!

Wedding Planning Whirlwind

Last weekend was a whirlwind of wedding planning. I picked my mom up at John Wayne on my way home from dropping Sam off at LAX. He’s in Thailand with his parents this week visiting his brother. 

Mom and I stayed up well past midnight looking through The Knot’s quarterly magazine that Carrie brought down for me last weekend. We also went online and perused a bunch of invitations and get a feel for what we liked. Luckily, Mom and I both liked the more formal invitations and she agreed that it would be cute to have something with some kind of beach theme. 

Saturday morning she wanted to get her nails done at my local nail salon, so I took her in there after breakfast. When she was finished, we headed over to South Coast Plaza to check out the Papyrus store and see what they had to offer as far as invitations go. As we were flipping through books, Mom found the PERFECT invitations. They are very clean and elegant, the wording is very formal, and they have a starfish accent at the bottom of the invitation. I’ll have to take Sam back in a few weeks and make sure he likes them too, but I don’t think he’ll have too much of a problem with them!

After the invitations, we headed home and had lunch with Hunter. He was happy to see us and spend some time getting spoiled while we were getting ready for our appointment at The Surf and Sand.

Ironically, the photographer and florist I have booked for my wedding were at The Surf and Sand on Saturday doing another wedding. It was fun to meet the photographer, who I booked through her boss, and hadn’t met yet. The florist wasn’t there in person, but Mom did get to see the flowers she did.

We also got to meet our wedding coordinator, Kat. She helped us figure out what our wedding costs would be and answered a bunch of our questions before I signed the contract and Mom handed over her credit card. During our meeting, Kat had us sample the house champagne and we got calamari comped by the resort. It was really nice, and obviously, since we’re going to pay a LOT for this wedding, I am sure they were doing their best to impress us.

After the business was done, Mom and I wandered around the hotel so she could get a better feel for it. We went down to the beach so that Mom could get an idea of where our wedding photos will be taken, and while we were there we got to see the photographers taking photos of the bridal party. It was really fun.

After we were done at the Surf & Sand, we walked across the street to Laguna Brisas, The Best Western hotel we are getting a special rate at for our guests. Mom and I hadn’t been in there before, and we checked it out just to make sure everything was on par- which it was! 

We headed home at 8pm… pretty impressive since we got up 12 hours earlier!

On Sunday, we conferred with Dad about the best way to communicate all the hotel information to our guests on the wedding website. After sorting that out, Mom and I went down to Fashion Island to do a little shopping. It was funny, because we’re trying to figure out if coral or turquoise bridesmaids’ dresses will be prettier. I would love to find something in Tiffany Blue to match the colors of The Surf and Sand, but we’ll see how that goes. Anyway, while we were shopping both colors were EVERYWHERE! They were on the racks in the stores and on the people wandering around the mall. It was hilarious.

After lunch at R&D Kitchen, I dropped Mom off at the airport. 

It was kind of strange to see her go since I’m now home alone with Hunter all week while Sam’s out of town. Not that I mind it so much, but we had a really nice time while she was here and it was all SO easy! Nonna said she once heard planning a wedding compared to planning the invasion of Normandy and that's been our running joke for about a year now.  I just hope the rest of the planning process goes this smoothly and the day goes off with minor hitches!!!

Late last night, I was watching The Newsroom and texting with Carina about my dress and everything Mom and I accomplished. I wish Carina had been here, but it’s been really fun bonding with her on Pinterest posts and texts and phone calls. I think this is going to be a really fun experience for us as sisters. J

As I was walking Hunter, Dad called to say that he and Mom were going through their guest list and he wanted to add another 8 people who he felt would be offended if they weren’t invited. He said it’s not likely these people will pay to travel down here, but who knows, they might. He said he’ll send an email out to let everyone know that they shouldn’t worry about offending him if they can’t make it, but that he wanted them to know they are in the VIP circle of friends. I told Dad that since he is paying for all of this, I don’t care who he invites. As long as we stay under the max capacity of the ball room and can afford for all these wild people to come and suck booze down at the open bar, I feel like the more the merrier is our motto!