Promoted

I received a promotion, officially announced at this evening's office happy hour. Effective immediately I am now a senior account executive, which pretty much means that I'm responsible for all the things I was already doing and I'm expected to begin doing all of the things in the position above my current one.

Pretty standard corporate protocol.

While this should be overall good news, I'm not entirely sure I'm happy about it. Work has been pretty all-encompassing and I've been feeling stressed and more overwhelmed than usual. My anxiety has been so high that it's been coming out in my nervous jittery legs which more than one person has noticed in recent weeks.

While I'm honored to be given more responsibility and accountability, I'm also wary because there are so many personal things I'd like to accomplish this year and I worry this professional life is holding me back.

A Trip to the Doctor

My new healthcare kicked in at the beginning of this month and I was running super low on all of my prescriptions so I made a few calls and somehow picked the practice my former doctor's receptionist went to when they parted ways a few years ago.  It was wonderful to reconnect with Stacy, and she actually booked me with a doctor she regards very highly.

I really, really enjoyed Dr. Stults (I even recommended her to my digital and social media marketing mentor).  She was incredibly detailed in the notes she took about my increased anxiety and was more than open to switching me to Lexapro, which tends to have better results with anxiety.  In fact, I have at least two friends who take it and have had great results.

Dr. Stults recommended that I start with a half a pill for the first five days or so while continuing my current anxiety medication (Wellbutrin), then going up to a full pill of both prescriptions for 5-7 days, and then a full Lexapro every day and alternating Wellbutrin before cutting the Wellbutrin altogether.

I'm a bit of an overachiever, so I went with a full pill from the very start... and wow was that interesting.  I immediately noticed that I was having trouble sleeping through the night... and still am.  Falling asleep is no problem, but I seem to be waking up around 1:00 a.m.  Luckily it's not a problem going back to sleep, and I've been able to sleep in just like before I was taking the medication, but it's very strange to continually wake up just after midnight.

I am incredibly thankful I haven't had any increased anxiety, which is one of the side effects most complained about online.  The second night I took it, I did wake up in a complete state of panic thinking that I hadn't sent an email to one of my clients.  Thankfully, I was able to talk myself down and be reasonable... what could I possibly do from my bedroom at 4:35 in the morning, after all?

I'm incredibly hopeful that this will help minimize the stress and pressure I have been feeling since taking my new job in December.  Best case scenario I would like to be able to have a better work life balance!

Cleaning Service

When Sam started residency, I asked him if we could please hire someone to clean the house once a month.  Of all his wonderful qualities, and believe me there are many, housework is not near the top of Sam's list.  In fact, Sam's version of helping out is usually to rally the troops (aka me) and start the project before melting away into another room where I find him passed out with the dog or reading the newspaper.  

Coupled with Sam's lack of interest in cleaning, he is equally enthused by the idea of paying someone to clean for us.  And I can understand that, my family never had anyone come in to help clean - my mom did it all herself.  But she was also a stay at home mom.  

Second year of residency, the wheels really came off our haphazard cleaning routine.  Sam was on call approximately every 4th night and stayed at the hospital, we had our third roommate shedding all over the house, and I was working my butt off founding a marketing department for a small telecommunications company.  Again, I told Sam I wanted to hire someone to clean the house once a month.  Again, he refused to pay for something we could do ourselves.  

But we didn't do it.  I am mortified to admit that I can't remember the last time I cleaned our bathroom... I mean REALLY cleaned our bathroom.  One time in the last year that does stick out in my mind is when I got so overwhelmed by how bad the bathroom was that I actually started crying when Sam wouldn't help me clean it.  And I don't want you to have the wrong impression, I am a pretty tidy person.  Seriously, you could probably ask any of my former roommates and they would say I am much more of a neat freak than they are.  I am so religious when it comes to dusty and vacuuming every other weekend that I have a calendar event on iCal that goes off.  I'm sure counts for something, but I hate deep cleaning with a passion.  

I digress, anyway, for my birthday in September, I told Sam all I wanted was for someone to come in and clean the apartment.  And he finally agreed.  (Sam's motto about cleaning is that if I leave it long enough he will eventually be bothered enough to do it himself, but his threshold is just much lower than mine... I guess that means the place has gotten pretty bad!)

Sam and I started asking for recommendations from our friends who use house cleaners.  It turns out a lot of the medical students and residents we know use cleaning services, and not just the guys.  We had a couple of friends say they wouldn't recommend who they use, but one of our friends had someone she thought we should try.  Three weeks after she gave me his contact information, I finally got around to making the appointment.  

And he will be here tomorrow morning, bright and early!

I just have to resist the urge to clean the place before he gets here out of guilt!!! 

Wedding Planning Compromises

It's funny, and probably a good sign, that I don't mind compromising with Sam on wedding details.  I am really, really proud of him and how involved he has been in planning things like our invitations (which he seriously was SO meticulous about I was shocked!) and meeting different officiants.

He's also been really involved with my family of his own volition, which is really nice.  Not that Sam wasn't supportive of my family, but he's been really tight on free time and he doesn't get to spend enough time with his family so my family sometimes ends up taking a backseat unless they come down to visit us in Irvine - which they do A LOT and we really do appreciate that immensely!  

But lately, since even before we got engaged, Sam's been doing little things as well as big things.  He's making the effort to see my family and celebrate big milestones with us the way I have done with his family over the last several years.  He came with me for Papa's 80th birthday when we got the entire Santi family together and he opted to stay at my parents' house one night when we were in town last weekend.  

He has been so great helping me manage my stress, too.  I was getting a little overwhelmed trying to please everyone and mediate every decision we made, so Sam stepped up and agreed that he would be the spokesperson for his side of the family regarding wedding stuff while I was the spokesperson for my side of the family.  That's reduced my stress a lot and makes me even more sure about making this huge commitment to Sam next year.  He is a great partner, teammate and friend.  I am incredibly lucky to spend my life with him.

Hunter the Hoover

Yesterday I left Hunter at home when I went to get my hair done and then celebrate Jen's 29th birthday.  As I was sitting in the chair, I totally had a moment where I wondered if I had locked him in his crate or not.  At that point, though, I wasn't going to do anything about it.

Around 6:30 Sam and I left Jen and Ryan's house and headed home.  You can imagine our surprise when Hunter greeted us, tail wagging & yelping for joy, in the entryway.

I was terrified that I would find he'd had accidents all over the house, or that he would have chewed up our furniture & destroyed the leather couches.  Thankfully, I was wrong.  The only thing he had done was go into the hamper and steal a pair of my underwear and eat half of it.  Wonderful, Hunter. 

I would have liked to have asked Sam's opinion but he was already in bed and asleep getting ready for his Sunday on-call.  So I turned to the internet and read online that pureed pumpkin can help dogs avoid and pass bowel obstructions when they've eaten things they shouldn't have.  Therefore, last night Hunter ate pumpkin puree for dinner.  Luckily, he slept just fine and by midday he had begun passing some of the fabric. 

Hopefully this will continue and he won't have any obstructions!  I am a little anxious and nervous about missing the signs of a bowel obstruction because they are potentially fatal and I don't want anything to happen to Hunter!

Luckily tomorrow is a holiday for UCIMC so Sam should be home by noonish and he can take Hunter out and re-assess the situation before I get home from work. 

Blood Test

Last Spring my doctor found evidence that I may be suffering from Hypothyroidism, but, because I had just changed my health insurance, I told her I would follow up with my new primary care provider at Kaiser.

Fast forward to July.  I finally got tired of the fatigue, stress, hair-loss, and lethargy.  Sam and I sat down and reviewed the female Primary Care Physicians in our area and settled on one for me to see.  I couldn't get an appointment until September, but at least we would soon have a second opinion about the Hypothyroidism and find something to alleviate the symptoms I have been suffering from.

Fast forward again to this month, I finally went in to see my new doctor today.  Luckily, I really, really like her and felt totally comfortable with her right away.  She sat down and reviewed the previous two blood tests with me and she decided that I should probably have one more to confirm the diagnosis.

I actually really liked that Kaiser had the pharmacy and the lab right in the same building as my doctor... I just walked down stairs and took care of everything right then and there.  I now will have to wait for the results to see if this is in fact what my issues are from.  The bummer is that the medication for hypothyroidism could increase the anxiety I have been feeling, and, if that's the case, I will possibly have to go onto some kind of low-dose anti-anxiety medication.

Honestly, while I don't like the idea of being medicated, I do like the idea of not feeling so overwhelmed all the time.   Sometimes I am so overwhelmed and stressed out I feel like I could cry.  It can be so much that I want to curl up on the couch rather than do anything... and I really hope that's going to be resolved with these hypothyroid medications!

Class Update

So a funny thing happened tonight...

I was sitting on Skype waiting for my classmates and instructor to arrive online and 6:00 came and went.  Then 6:10.  Then 6:15.  Finally I called the instructor's cell phone.

She had completely forgotten our class meeting.

15 minutes later, we were all online and chatting.  Homework came up, and it came out that myself and the other girl did the math and turned it in after about a million hours of labor [okay it was really just 2 for 4 3-part questions].  Well, thanks to a big misunderstanding, our instructor did NOT mean for us to do the math by hand and didn't quite get that written online.  There is an online tool that we can punch the numbers into and just ANALYZE.

Wow, I feel like a noob.  First of all, I called the instructor and reminded her about the class tonight.  Then I find out I (and another girl) am doing WAY more work than was intended.  Awesome.

On the upside, I now have an intimate knowledge of Net Marketing Contribution and how to calculate it.  Also, I did feel pretty damn good about myself after I did all the math.

Up All Night

Last night, Hunter woke up in the middle of the night (which he did Tuesday & Wednesday as well).  I had Sam take him to get a drink of water, but Hunter wouldn't relax and go back to bed.  Perhaps it was because he had too much energy- we didn't have time to give him his walk Thursday night, and I had slacked on Wednesday because we had our private puppy lesson.  In any case, I asked Sam to take him out to go potty, and 45 minutes into the not-going-back-to-sleep fun, Sam took him out. 

Hunter came back in and still wouldn't settle down.  So we left him to play on the floor at the foot of our bed.  Suddenly, he goes completely berzerk.  He starts barking like he has never barked before, comes tearing around the corner of the bed to me, and then frantically tries to claw his way out of my arms as I try to console him.  When we offered him his bone (he chews his Orka bone every night before bed) he backed away as if he'd never seen it before. 
We tried to get him to lay down, but he kept going to the end of the bed and barking.  After 30 minutes of him being a complete mess, I took him out to the couch and we got 2 hours of sleep before finally getting back into bed.

Needless to say, I am pooped today and headed home early from the office.  Time for a nap!  And please keep your fingers crossed that this was a one-time thing!