Promoted

I received a promotion, officially announced at this evening's office happy hour. Effective immediately I am now a senior account executive, which pretty much means that I'm responsible for all the things I was already doing and I'm expected to begin doing all of the things in the position above my current one.

Pretty standard corporate protocol.

While this should be overall good news, I'm not entirely sure I'm happy about it. Work has been pretty all-encompassing and I've been feeling stressed and more overwhelmed than usual. My anxiety has been so high that it's been coming out in my nervous jittery legs which more than one person has noticed in recent weeks.

While I'm honored to be given more responsibility and accountability, I'm also wary because there are so many personal things I'd like to accomplish this year and I worry this professional life is holding me back.

Slowly Taking Over

Wedding planning is all-consuming.  I mean that in a really good way, but it's true!

I have been trying to take care of something wedding-related every weekend that we're home, but that's not as easy as it sounds.

We took advantage of our road trip up to Santa Barbara to listen to lots of wedding music, but didn't really make much progress with a formal playlist.

We interviewed officiants, but we can't decide which one to go with.

We have narrowed down our decision to two DJ companies, but we're having trouble scheduling a time to meet up with the possible DJs.

I wouldn't be worried except that our preferred videographer is already booked for our date, as was our preferred photographer.  So clearly people are already on their game for August 2014.  And if Sam had a regular job, this would be less of a scheduling issue, but he's about to start his more challenging rotation November through January.  Which means he won't have as much time to dedicate to planning during the week, and that's when the DJs want to get together.

Wonderful.  I guess if need be I can do some of this myself... but I really want Sam to be involved in our tasting and he is going to have be the driving force when we pick our live musicians.

One thing I haven't been doing enough of is focusing on my fitness plan.  I am simultaneously hopeful that Sam's longer hours this winter will make it easier for me to focus on losing weight and toning up for the wedding, and nervous that I'll be taking on a lot more responsibility and thus will be more stressed and less able to focus on myself.  The accountability is totally with me - so here's to focusing more on my health and less on the rest of the drama.

Especially because I think I found "the dress" on Saturday while I was shopping with Mom and Carina!

Ignoring the Skeptics

I recently read a blog by Seth Godin called Proving the skeptics wrong and it really struck a chord with me.

Lately I have been feeling like no matter how hard I try, it isn't good enough for some of the people in my life... two in particular and one especially.  

I really let it get to me when I hear nasty things that have been fabricated about me.  I grew up in a family where we called each other out on our bullshit and sitting idly by while people blatantly make things up to manipulate other people.  Have some accountability people!

It makes me doubt my self worth and question who and what I am.  It causes me to question whether or not I am worthy of these people's approval or respect.  Ultimately, it makes me so disappointed in the actions of this person and I spend so much of my precious time dwelling on the whole mess far more than I should be and than is healthy for me.

I need to stop.  Like Seth says, "Instead of working so hard to prove the skeptics wrong, it makes a lot more sense to delight the true believers."  I need to surround myself with the people who fill my life with love and happiness.  I need to stop bending over backward for the people who couldn't care less and focus my energy on the people who appreciate the things I do.

Seth says "Lead Up"

Here's a passage from Seth Godin's blog post Lead Up:

"A successful middle manager gets promoted when she takes the right amount of initiative, defers the right amount of credit and orchestrates success. That success might happen despite (not because) of who her bosses are, and that's just fine, because she's leading up."

Easier said than done, Seth. Still good advice.  Too often I hear people blaming external circumstances for their failure and inability to succeed.  The truth is we have more control of our situations than we like to think.  

I can eat doughnuts or I can work out- those choices are going to affect my weight loss.  I can blame the office's stockpile of sweets or I can blame my own poor self control.  Obviously it's less fun to take accountability for the things that aren't perfect in life, but that's part of being an adult.