Freedom and Freelance

Freelancing is incredibly different this time around. I have such a better understanding of how to pitch new business, what kinds of documents clients want to see, etc. I'm also a lot better equipped to assess what jobs and projects are a good fit or something that I'm not likely to enjoy/excel at. I am incredibly thankful for my taste of agency life, and it's absolutely helped me grow in my never-ending quest for self-improvement and career advancement.

One skill that I've always been very strong at is organization - even at the agency I was consistently complimented on my mastery of details and project management. I find that organization is a blessing and a curse, because if my work space isn't organized I have a very hard time focusing. Over the years, I've learned that time spent improving my environment on the front-end usually translates to success at the back-end. For that reason, I spent most of my first week "off" putting my things away and reorganizing my desk in our guest room. Things are now exactly as I want them and I'm able to focus on potential projects without the clutter of piles of paper all over. 

Another thing that's changed this time through funemployment is how exhausted I am. I think that agency life took a much greater toll on my emotional health than I realized, and my body is trying to recuperate and acclimate to its stress-free state. I used to be able to get to bed at 9-9:30 and be up at 4:30 for Kaia, but I didn't even make it up by 6:45 the past two days.  I am hoping that my energy level rebounds soon so that I can get into a routine. 

One of the things that is always challenging working from home is time management. I've had a significantly more challenging time with that this time around, probably because I'm much more serious about launching a freelance career, improving my fitness and finding that ever-elusive work-life balance than I was last time around. I think I have a huge fear that I'll repeat my history of focusing 110% on work and going down the rabbit hole of poor eating habits. Then again, I am so much more aware of my personal needs than I have been at any other point in my career. Perhaps I've done more growing up more in the last 18 months than I realize. 

Cooking Class

I decided to take myself up on something I'd been thinking about for a while... a cooking class.  Sam and I have a lot of baking stuff on our registry and I would like to be able to make a really nice-looking cake to go with all of my awesome entrees (lasagna, stir fry, spaghetti and meatballs, salmon, etc.)

So I went ahead and signed myself up on a weekend he'll be out of town for a conference.  Just a little ME time.... and if I can come even remotely close to pulling off the magnificence that is pictured on the sign up page I will be THRILLED.  Ta-da!

Luscious Layer Cakes

What You Will Learn

Who can resist a decadent cake featuring layers of delicious frosting? Not us, that's for sure! Join our hands-on class as we cover the basics of cake making, from preparing perfect batter to proper layering techniques. Our instructor will show you simple steps for making incredible mousses and frostings from scratch. Plus, we'll share the surprisingly easy secrets for making ombre cakes, one of the culinary world's hottest trends. Prepare to wow friends and family at your next celebration.


What To Expect:

Great cooking isn't about recipes—it's about techniques. In our classes you'll work together with other students in a fun, hands-on environment led by our professional chef instructors.

• Learn fundamental skills for a lifetime of great cooking
• Work side-by-side with other students to prepare each dish
• Interact with classmates and the instructor for a rich learning experience
• Classes are 2 to 2 1/2 hours, unless otherwise noted above, and each student enjoys a generous taste of every dish
• Held in our professional teaching kitchens, each class is led by an experienced chef instructor
• Hands-on classes are limited to 16 participants
• Students receive a 10% discount coupon to use the week after the class

Massage

I am a sucker for a good massage.

Sam used to rub my shoulders for me when we first started dating, and my dad used to rub my back before bed during water polo season when I was tight and uncomfortable.

It wasn't until college and really after graduation when I moved to Orange County that I grew to appreciate a really great massage.  And we had massages at least once a week while we were in Southeast Asia three years ago.

Since I took my high pressure, high stress agency job, I have been meaning to book myself a massage... but like all the stuff I do for myself (ahem, blogging, the gym, etc.) I seem never to be able to find the time to make an appointment.

So I finally called up my former masseuse and was disappointed to hear that he's got a great gig working on the NASCAR circuit.  He did refer me to a colleague and I'm going to see her on Saturday.  I cannot wait.

Even Sam said earlier this week that my shoulders are off-center because I am holding so much tension in my upper body.  He must have taken pity on me because he did rub my shoulders a little bit for me that night.

I just want to be able to relax and actually feel my stress melt out of my body.

Hopefully after Saturday I'll be able to sleep better and feel more like working out!

Back to Workouts

The bridal bootcamp has been underway for weeks now, but unfortunately I haven't been as on my game as I should have been... I'm going to blame the long hours at my new job.  

Well, two weeks ago I emailed my personal trainer, the wonderful Amanda, and let her know what my pain points are as far as not having a regular work schedule.  I told her that I'm going to make fitness a much bigger priority and focus on a manageable work life balance.  And she helped me out with some awesome workouts to help get me back into shape.  

First up on the list?  I started getting my act together for spin class on Mondays and Wednesdays at 6:45 p.m.  I cannot even begin to give Sam enough credit for how much he's enabled me to focus on myself.  Sam's on a really easy rotation (think reliably short hours) at Kaiser so he's been able to get home to let Hunter out on the nights I head to the gym directly from work.  

Additionally, Amanda has given me some really handy workouts that involve walking the dog - which is a win win for us because it gives us a chance to do something as a family (Sam joins us) and we also get to involve Hunter.  He has been sleeping through the night A LOT better with all this exercise.  

The best news of all is that I've gotten more than 10,000 steps and more than 30 minutes of intense activity for the last five days in a row counting today.  I know it's not going to happen over night, but this is the second week in a row that I've made it to two spin classes.  Let me tell you, my legs are BURNING, which is a good thing because in the simplest of explanations: the muscles in your legs are the largest, most powerful muscles in your body thus they are capable of burning the most energy aka fat.  

I'm also working my upper body so that my arms and shoulders are as sculpted as possible when I don my beautiful strapless wedding dress in less than five months!  I can't believe how quickly the months are ticking down...

I'm not sure if it's partly because of the Lexapro, but I don't have quite the same level of agitation and stress at work these days.  Not to say I'm not committed, but I don't feel the need to push and give my job all 110% of my energy.  And it's been making me really happy to spend some time on myself, improving my fitness and getting back into shape. 

A Trip to the Doctor

My new healthcare kicked in at the beginning of this month and I was running super low on all of my prescriptions so I made a few calls and somehow picked the practice my former doctor's receptionist went to when they parted ways a few years ago.  It was wonderful to reconnect with Stacy, and she actually booked me with a doctor she regards very highly.

I really, really enjoyed Dr. Stults (I even recommended her to my digital and social media marketing mentor).  She was incredibly detailed in the notes she took about my increased anxiety and was more than open to switching me to Lexapro, which tends to have better results with anxiety.  In fact, I have at least two friends who take it and have had great results.

Dr. Stults recommended that I start with a half a pill for the first five days or so while continuing my current anxiety medication (Wellbutrin), then going up to a full pill of both prescriptions for 5-7 days, and then a full Lexapro every day and alternating Wellbutrin before cutting the Wellbutrin altogether.

I'm a bit of an overachiever, so I went with a full pill from the very start... and wow was that interesting.  I immediately noticed that I was having trouble sleeping through the night... and still am.  Falling asleep is no problem, but I seem to be waking up around 1:00 a.m.  Luckily it's not a problem going back to sleep, and I've been able to sleep in just like before I was taking the medication, but it's very strange to continually wake up just after midnight.

I am incredibly thankful I haven't had any increased anxiety, which is one of the side effects most complained about online.  The second night I took it, I did wake up in a complete state of panic thinking that I hadn't sent an email to one of my clients.  Thankfully, I was able to talk myself down and be reasonable... what could I possibly do from my bedroom at 4:35 in the morning, after all?

I'm incredibly hopeful that this will help minimize the stress and pressure I have been feeling since taking my new job in December.  Best case scenario I would like to be able to have a better work life balance!

A Little Life Update

I know I haven't been posting too regularly but I am making an effort to stop sacrificing all of the things I love and enjoy doing in my free time starting in March.

It's been too long since I was at the gym, wrote a blog post, tried a new recipe, etc.

I knew I was signing on for long hours when I took the agency job in December, but I was naive to how long the hours would truly be.  At best, I get to the office at 8:30 a.m. and leave at 5:30 p.m. when my workday is technically over.  The catch, is that there is that things seem to have a nasty habit of popping up between 4:30 - 5:30 just as I'm thinking about winding down.  Or, I start logging my billable time at 4:20 but it takes me 20 - 30 minutes to complete because I make meticulous notes to help my Account Coordinate do the billing.  On top of that, we're supposed to be billable 7 hours a day, which doesn't sound too bad until you think about the time you spend in the bathroom, your lunch break, the miscellaneous time you have waiting for a meeting to start or recapping the topics that were discussed on a call with a client for your billing reports.  So sometimes I have to stay after 5:30 just to try to make my billable hours.

Since taking this job, my TMJ disorder has come roaring back to life and I am not getting the relief from my mouthguard the way I have in the past.  My suspicion is that after 4 years I have probably clenched so much that I need to replace it, and I have an appointment later this month to see my dentist and have new impressions taken.

Then there is the stress level.  I'm going to be seeing a new family medicine doctor next week and I want her to reevaluate my anxiety medication and see if maybe there is something that's a better fit for me.

So things are going to have to change moving forward.

A dear friend of mine (a PR professional who was working at an agency at the time) gave me some very real advice that I pass out as often as possible:

The first three months of a new job are terribly hard because you're just learning the system.  The second three months of a new job are horrible because you start to understand what you really got yourself into, but you're still figuring out your system to be successful.  At six months in, you've started to form your routine and you're beginning to feel like you're able to perform your required duties.

It's funny, in a meeting yesterday I had the mounting feeling of dread that I had so many responsibilities and so many deadlines over the next few days that I began to feel overwhelmed.  And then, an interesting thing happened, the thought occurred to me that I should put all of the pitching deadlines at the bottom of my daily task sheet at the beginning of each month so that I see them all and am reminded to chip away at them little by little.  Wow.  What do you know, I'm starting to come up with my own system for success and I've been there nearly 11 weeks.

Back in January, as I was lamenting the death of my personal life and the onslaught of stress and pressure, my dad told me that it takes roughly one year to become competent at a new job.  He promised me that by Thanksgiving I would feel 180 degrees different than I felt at that moment.

I know he's right, but sometimes I wish the timing of this opportunity had come six months earlier... but then again, I was able to accomplish SO MUCH for our wedding while I was working for my last company that maybe this is all for the best.  I will tell you this much, I LOVE my team and what I do.

I just need to remember that there are less than six months before our wedding, and I am still not in the physical shape I want to be in.  It's tough to leave Hunter alone for another hour and a half and get my workout in on weeknights, but hopefully Sam can help me pick up the slack there because I need to find a routine that gets me moving and commit to making healthy, vegetable laden dinners.

Agency Living

I started 2014 with a new job - exciting times, for sure.  But also trying.

This week I worked an 11+ hour day on Monday, a 10+ hour day on Tuesday, and a 9+ hour day today.  I have been trying to keep to a healthy eating schedule (which has been interesting because I am so busy I rarely eat an actual meal at midday) and get to the gym (which has been less than successful) in what little free time I have.   

Last night, I was working on a blog post for my professional blog and I started nodding off around 9:30 sitting on the couch with my laptop.  I'm not joking.  I told Sam, I am incredibly honored to have been hired by this very prestigious agency but at the same time, I am suffering the loss of my personal life and have no work-life balance whatsoever.  Which is probably doubly difficult because in my last job I had the hang of everything, was working from home three days a week and had a very healthy personal life - I know, I was really spoiled.  One thing I do know, I am NOT going to let this get in the way of my health and fitness goals.  I let work consume me when I started at my last company and my eating habits went completely out the window... not so this time around!

Truth be told, it was a rough couple of days from Thursday afternoon to Tuesday morning working on a huge project for a HUGE client with an incredibly tight deadline.  I was wondering if I made a HUGE mistake on Monday night and was so worried that I'm not cut out of this that quitting actually entered my mind.  Talk about craziness!  Everything looked much better by Tuesday morning when I reassured myself that worst case scenario meant I would lose [another] job but more likely than not, the project would end and life would get back to normal.  Luckily, I was right.  

Tonight I am feeling simultaneously very proud and very overwhelmed.  The agency principle came to me today after reviewing my social media posts for our luxury jewelry designer and diamond client and told me they were fantastic... she asked me how much my other team members had revised my first draft and I said they each made one or two changes, which she was very pleased to hear.  She brought a jewelry magazine and several fashion sections from our local newspapers that she wanted me to read and come up with pitches for.  She also said I need to start looking at the big fashion and jewelry magazines on a regular basis so that I get accustomed to the industry's style of writing and colloquial terms.   

It all sounds like a lot of work, especially when I have marketing and SEO books lined up on my nook that I haven't gotten time to read yet.  I suppose this is what I'll start doing for fun... reading magazines when I get home from work.  C'est la vie.  I guess it's better than watching lots of TV but it takes a lot more brainpower too, and (as with all new jobs) I am completely mentally exhausted by the time I get home.  The last thing I want to do is work on "homework" and yet there are some seriously important things I need to read, chiefly all the bios and pitches we've done for the diamond client because I am going to be pitching him to a couple of publications this week.  

Pitching... eek!  As with everything in this job, I am diving right into the deep end and learning to swim on the fly.