Headed in the Right Direction

Today I had a great weigh-in at weight watchers. I mean seriously, the best one since I rejoined the program back in May 2014. 

I was 2.2 pounds down. 

This is after nearly six months of hovering and slowly gaining. 

I cannot tell you the sweet feeling of success that overcame me when I heard her say that. 

What's changed since the New Year? 

1. Kaia Fit OC - Let's get real, I haven't been on a really regimented training program since I was meeting with Amanda regularly (in person). The girls at Kaia are AWESOME. They motivate me, accept my current fitness level and support my goals and efforts to improve. I think this has been better because I can't seem to be accountable in online training sessions. That accountability is something I struggle with when I'm not attending weight watchers meetings too. 
2. Weight Watchers - Tracking points works! I know that, and yet I have trouble putting it into action at times. Re-committing to logging everything that goes into my mouth has been a learning process, an adjustment period and now a tool for success.
3. Holistic Nutrition Center - One thing I've done completely differently this time around in my weight loss journey is get a nutritionist. Kaia had one come in and speak, so I went with her. In the spirit of full-disclosure, it's a little bit too voodoo for Sam, but I think we're both at the point where whatever works is great. I'm changing my eating habits, the way I think about food and the way I tackle this process.
4. Fat Chance - I think I mentioned that I've been reading a great book that Sam read and then recommended to me. Right now, the author is thoroughly explaining the biochemistry behind obesity and it's been really enlightening. Not that I'm taking anything as an excuse for what's happened to me, but I do think knowledge is empowering and can help me to get this weight off and then KEEP IT OFF. I am less than a quarter of the way in, but as of now I'd recommend this to anyone trying to make a change and be more healthy/fit. 

Back on the Wagon

Today at my meeting, I reset my Weight Watchers history - no old progress reports hanging around, no past milestones reminding me how much I've gained back, etc. Just a fresh slate for me to write on in 2015.

My dear friend and fellow weight watcher and I then grabbed lunch and took a long walk to discuss our game plan for success in this new year. We both feel the time truly is now to prioritize our fitness and health. Not only did we talk about the things that are holding us back, but how we can eliminate those roadblocks to achieving our goals. As an added bonus, we tracked everything we ate, stayed on our daily points, and crushed our 10,000 daily step goal. Woohoo!

 When I got home, I went through my Weight Watcher Notebook, a binder I created that houses all of my favorite WW recipes for easy access and meal-planning. I printed out new recipes that I want to try and replaced things that either didn't go over well, or I was never interested in testing over the past four years. Keeping the recipes up to date is very helpful for me when I'm planning out the things I'm going to eat for the week, and planning ahead of time is something I really need to prioritize. I think it's part of the reason I was so successful last time.

I also printed out all of my Kaia FIT Brik paperwork including the PDF Cookbook, the nutrition guidelines, and a few interesting looking fitness challenges. Truth be told, I am so sore today after yesterday's workout I am finding it challenging to get in and out of cars, chairs and up stairs. I can only imagine how I will feel after a whole week of this!

Speaking of which, tomorrow is my first day back at 5:00 a.m. Kaia Klass, so I need to get my butt to bed. I'm already an hour past my intended bedtime!

Slowly Taking Over

Wedding planning is all-consuming.  I mean that in a really good way, but it's true!

I have been trying to take care of something wedding-related every weekend that we're home, but that's not as easy as it sounds.

We took advantage of our road trip up to Santa Barbara to listen to lots of wedding music, but didn't really make much progress with a formal playlist.

We interviewed officiants, but we can't decide which one to go with.

We have narrowed down our decision to two DJ companies, but we're having trouble scheduling a time to meet up with the possible DJs.

I wouldn't be worried except that our preferred videographer is already booked for our date, as was our preferred photographer.  So clearly people are already on their game for August 2014.  And if Sam had a regular job, this would be less of a scheduling issue, but he's about to start his more challenging rotation November through January.  Which means he won't have as much time to dedicate to planning during the week, and that's when the DJs want to get together.

Wonderful.  I guess if need be I can do some of this myself... but I really want Sam to be involved in our tasting and he is going to have be the driving force when we pick our live musicians.

One thing I haven't been doing enough of is focusing on my fitness plan.  I am simultaneously hopeful that Sam's longer hours this winter will make it easier for me to focus on losing weight and toning up for the wedding, and nervous that I'll be taking on a lot more responsibility and thus will be more stressed and less able to focus on myself.  The accountability is totally with me - so here's to focusing more on my health and less on the rest of the drama.

Especially because I think I found "the dress" on Saturday while I was shopping with Mom and Carina!

Fitness Update

So here's a fitness update for those of you keeping track at home.  I am doing FitOrbit with my former trainer, Amanda, who is a total stud and one of my fitness heroes.

I started with her about 4 weeks ago and I have lost a whopping 3 pounds so far (which I promptly put right back on and am now struggling to lose again).  But hey, that's a start!  And actually I have been building mad muscle.  My calves are looking pretty stacked again and just yesterday Sam was complimenting my shoulders and told me how much more toned they look since I started swimming once a week.  Imagine how amused I was when I told him that it wasn't from swimming once a week, it's from all the days I left weights and do Amanda's crazy circuits.  Hey, if he thinks swimming does it maybe it's not my place to burst his bubble.

My biggest challenges are portion control, snacking, and stress.  I do not handle stress well- I am a terrible emotional eater!  And even when I'm not overworked, under-slept or emotional drained, I still have a hard time stopping myself when I reach my portion limit.

The stress is a double whammy.  I am emotional so I am very likely to overeat and make poor food choices.  And on the other side of the coin, I never feel like exercising when I am really, really stressed.  The thought of having another "To Do List" item that needs checked off can really send me over the edge.

Earlier this week I was strapped and spread too thin working on a hard deadline for a project at work that involved going live with 28 new website pages for one of our newest products.  Sure enough, I was eating like I had PMS for about a week and I was working long hours and not spending as much time being active.  Now though, that's behind me.  And I am recommitting myself to the cause!

Like Lead

So I started back with my amazing personal trainer from a couple of years ago, Amanda.  We make a fabulous team- she pushes me but is like a teammate not a drill sergeant.

So anyway, I have been trying (and failing) to lose weight on my own for about 16 months.  Due to some upcoming life events, Sam thought it would be nice to get me a personal trainer.  I think he was envisioning that I'd work out once a week with a trainer at our gym, but I had other plans.  I immediately texted Amanda and told her it was time to whip me back into shape.

These days (and actually, I think back when we were first training too) Amanda is doing online training via FitOrbit.  So I signed up.  I got online and I filled out the surveys and I submitted my credit card.  Woohoo!  So as of June 1, 2013 I am back on my health kick and fitness plan.

Let me tell you, it has not been easy.  Today for example, I was incredibly hungry.  Just ravenous.  Probably because I had a breakfast backfire where my intended meal was just not going to cut it.  So I tried to hold out until lunch but I ended up eating my lunch around 11, dozing off around 1, and having second lunch around 2.  Oops.

Good thing my workout tonight was INTENSE!  I did 30 minutes of Sculpt Cycle weights, walked Hunter for 40 minutes, and then hit up my new favorite Spin Class (Tuesday nights at LA Fitness with Jen).  Exhausted is an understatement.  I mean seriously.  I can barely move.

My arms are still sore from the insane "Just Push" arm circuit I did on Saturday morning.  Now I have legs like lead from my workouts yesterday and today.  I don't even know how I am going to take Hunter down for his before-bed potty walk.  I could have easily gone to soak in the jacuzzi for a while this evening... but I didn't have enough time.

Thankfully tomorrow is a pyramid swim set so I should have some chance of stretching out my arms and legs and doing some lengthening after all this tightening.  And since I'll already be down in the pool with my suit on I definitely foresee some soaking time so that my achy muscles can recover a bit.

Eye on the prize, kid.  Eye on the prize.

Just Barely

Today was one of those days.

You know the kind.

My boss and I are at odds regarding the best use of some video footage we shot two weeks ago.  I just barely got a hold of myself and redirected our focus on the common goal we share before the debate devolved into some kind of fight.  Just barely.

I barely contained a bout of road rage while Sam was driving us to the gym.  I wasn't even driving.  I wanted to scream, but I held it in.  Just barely.

During spin class I almost cussed out the teacher and left early.  I just barely contained myself and redirected my frustration into the workout.  Just barely.  It's a good thing I stuck it out because I am now exhausted and completely devoid of frustration.

I also really liked the class- great music, good vibe coming from the instructor and overall a great workout.  Not too hard, but a steady, consistent hardcore workout the entire hour.  I went up to the instructor after the class to compliment her and see which other nights she teaches.  Unfortunately she said this is her only LA Fitness class, the rest of the week she teaches down at a studio in San Clemente.  She told me she does get to sub a lot and told me if I gave her my email she'd let me know when she's subbing.  I gave her my email and cell phone number so she can text me too.  She said she knows how it feels to be disappointed with group exercise instructors and that's what motivated her to become a spin teacher herself- I told her I'd had that thought myself.  Sam might get ahold of that idea and run with it.  Although I am not sure I have the time and energy to devote to teaching class- I almost feel like I need to focus all my attention on my own fitness and workouts so I can succeed in my weight loss goals.

And boy did I get a good work out tonight!  Holy Jesus I was having a tough time walking up the stairs tonight after class.  I literally turned to Sam and told him he was on Hunter's potty duty tonight because I don't think I can go up and down the stairs again.

Side Note: A sign of a great spin workout is definitely having trouble and feeling leg fatigue while going up stairs after a workout and the following day.

Now I'm trying to stay awake so I can fold yet another load of Sam's laundry and start on the guest room's sheets and towels.  I'm awake, but just barely.  I guess I'll have to hold off on the guest room for another night.  As for now, I think I'm going to roll out my legs on my foam roller and head to bed.

I think I can make it.

Just barely.

Seth says "Lead Up"

Here's a passage from Seth Godin's blog post Lead Up:

"A successful middle manager gets promoted when she takes the right amount of initiative, defers the right amount of credit and orchestrates success. That success might happen despite (not because) of who her bosses are, and that's just fine, because she's leading up."

Easier said than done, Seth. Still good advice.  Too often I hear people blaming external circumstances for their failure and inability to succeed.  The truth is we have more control of our situations than we like to think.  

I can eat doughnuts or I can work out- those choices are going to affect my weight loss.  I can blame the office's stockpile of sweets or I can blame my own poor self control.  Obviously it's less fun to take accountability for the things that aren't perfect in life, but that's part of being an adult. 

Cleanse: Take 2

So I'm doing another cleanse with my former (and still fabulous) personal trainer turned friend Amanda.  This time, however, I know that I am committed to a 7-day cleanse followed by an intense 30-days based on Jillian Michaels' book Making the Cut.

How is it going?  Well, I have to say that egg whites are NOT my favorite thing en mass.  I am supposed to be eating 6 each morning and I'm lucky if I can get 4 down.  It's not that I don't like eggs, but I am too lazy to get up early enough to make them and eat them at home.  Thus, I am bringing them to work and eating them when they are slightly cooled.  Not super appetizing as it turns out.

Other than the eggs though, things are going okay.  There is a LOT of variation with the meals on this plan compared with the one we did last year- but I do miss my heirloom tomato, arugula, hummus and Ezekiel bread sandwiches.  And, super plus, this one uses dandelion root tea to help purge extra water weight and reduce bloating.  Apparently dandelion tea has lots of benefits and is also used for detox purposes and it cleanses blood and improves organ health.  Who knew?!  It does taste a little earthy, but it's like ice cream compared to that horrible hemp protein powder I bought last year.  I had to replace that crap with Bluebonnet brand protein powder which was at least edible.

The only downside is that my energy is completely depleted.  Seriously.  Like I was sitting on the couch last night at 8:20 and was about to pass out so I made Sam put on True Blood so I could make it until at least 9:00.  (Side note: Sam started us on True Blood over the weekend and were on Season 2)

Anyway, not to dwell on the negatives or get off topic: the cleanse ends on Sunday and the real work begins on Monday.  Jillian Michaels has 30 days of food scheduled by meal for each kind of metabolism- fast, average, and slow.  According to the quiz I took, I have average metabolism and am a "B-group" person.

I have tried so many things to lose weight and my most successful thing was religiously following Weight Watchers.  I guess I am just hoping that I can lose the 10-20 pounds Jillian's method promises to shed and then I can get back to wearing my clothes better.  I just really want to get rid of the 20 pounds I've gained since I started working again in November 2011... preferably before Jackie's wedding on May 4 when I need to squeeze myself into a bridesmaid's dress and walk down an aisle.  Hmmmm, now that wedding season is around the corner I am thinking I probably should have been more serious about weight loss starting January 1 like I had hoped to be.  Better late than never I hope!

What They Didn't Tell Me

So here I am, it's 9:09 PM on Tuesday night and I am flying to Vegas tomorrow for my first-ever Sin City business trip.  What am I doing up?  Packing?  Preparing for our big awards dinner tomorrow night?  No.  I am up washing Sam's White Coat.

Why am I up doing laundry at this hour?  Doesn't Sam have two White Coats?

Well yes, he does in fact have two White Coats; however, the hospital laundry service got some kind of pink stain on one of his coats and I just can't quite get it entirely out.  Ergo, Sam refuses to wear that particular coat.  Ergo, we have to do laundry after work when Sam spills his freakin' coffee down the front of his coat.  Goddamn it.

Because Sam is post-call tonight, he was pretty comatose by 8 when Hunter and I got home from his makeup training session with Kate.  So he got up off the couch, rinsed off his dishes and put them in the dishwasher (huge victory post-call, let me tell you!) and then realized he had forgotten to toss his coat in the washing machine.

So now, I am awake, watching The Adjustment Bureau while Hunter naps on my lap.  It was a great afternoon for us- the first afternoon walk of our year.  And I even jogged a little bit!  I need to get back in shape, and these little jaunts are just one part.  I am going to shoot for the morning spin class tomorrow at 9:15 before our plane leaves.  And then there's another spin class Thursday evening.  Back in the saddle for me!

March 4 starts the big Making the Cut program with Amanda, my former personal trainer.  She is hosting a variation of the Jillian Michaels diet + workout plan.  I'm kind of nervous but also really, really excited!

Diagnosis

Earlier this month I finally went in to Kaiser to meet my new doctor and she reviewed some blood work I had done in February with me. 

Long story short, the diagnosis has been confirmed.  I have a form of sublclinical hypothyroidism called Hashimoto's thyroiditis or Hashimoto's disease. 

What does this mean?

• For the rest of my life I will take a daily thyroid horomone supplimen
•  Hopefully the weight gain, hair loss, exhaustion, and lethargy I have been experiencing over the last 9 months will go away with treatment.
• My body breaks down thyroid hormone and my brain has to tell my thryoid to work overtime to create more hormone than I can breakdown to keep my levels normal

I am currently in the normal range, on the low end, but my doctor explained that my thyroid will eventually 'burn out' and stop functioning, at which point I will officially have hypothyroidism.  By prescribing medication now, the hope is that my thyroid will continue working longer.

I can't wait to hopefully feel better in the next couple of weeks and be able to get out of bed when I wake up instead of feeling the need to doze and snooze for half an hour.  That's the biggest difference I have noticed in the last 9 months- all through college and until this year, I have been someone that wakes up and is awake.  Lately, I have started having serious trouble getting up in the morning.  First, I thought it was because Hunter needed a midnight potty break, but then he started sleeping through the night and I was still having trouble getting up.

Fingers crossed that the symptoms start to reside!

A Single Step

It's 5 AM, & Hunter and I are off.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

Obstacles

Grrrr.  I am annoyed.

 

I thought I'd check out the menu at Lucille's BBQ where I am meeting a girlfriend who I haven't seen in almost a year (I think) for Happy Hour tomorrow.  Ugh.  No nutritional information listed, and based on my internet digging, none of the options are going to be great.  I called the restaurant to inquire as to what the nutritional info on their BBQ Salad is, because it looks mighty delicious and doesn't come with tempting sides like the Half BBQ Chicken (which is looking like my best option so far).  The hostess offered to find out the info for me, but returned without an answer.  It seems they just don't have that information on file.  

REALLY?

How the heck am I supposed to keep making good choices when I get answers like that.  Now I'm debating if I try to be good with the BBQ Chicken Plate, test my luck with the BBQ Chicken, or get something completely boring and unoriginal like the Chicken Cesar Salad with dressing on the side (my go-to WW dinner out).  Honestly, my inclination is to suggest we meet somewhere else... but it's kind of embarassing to bring up. 

Why must losing weight be so difficult?!?

Good Decisions

This morning I was up at 4:20 for some ungodly reason.  As I was laying in bed and Sam was getting ready for work, he showed me an incredibly unflattering photo of me cuddling with Hunter the morning before.  (OMG, it was horrible!)  He told me that it was kind of sad to see me gain back so much weight when I had been doing so great last summer.  And, in that moment, I thought: 'Time to stop kidding yourself, this isn't getting out of hand; it's gotten out of hand already!'

Sam always says losing weight is about making good decisions, and when you come down to it, he's right.  I am an emotional eater- I celebrate with food and alcohol, and I drown my sorrows in them too.  I eat when I am stressed under the guise of being 'too overloaded to be bothered'.  I tell myself it's okay to have that second doughnut when they come into the office because 'I'm working really hard'.  I pass up the opportunity to go to the gym because 'I need to relax'.  I find excuses to enable myself and make bad decisions.

Today I made a couple of good decisions starting at 5:10 AM when Sam left the house:

1. I looked down at Hunter and told him it was time to get up because we were going for a walk
2. Upon heading out on the path, I decided to JOG instead of walk (kudos that I made it the whole 30 minutes without slowing down!)
3. I didn't snack while sitting at my desk
4. I tracked every. single. thing. on the weight watchers website (and stayed under my daily points)

And you know, I actually feel pretty good right now.  Like good enough that maybe I can do this again on Thursday.  And, at the risk of getting too far ahead of myself, maybe I can make it habit on Tuesdays & Thursdays.