Our Officiant is Official!

One of the biggest things stressing me out about wedding planning was that we hadn't found an officiant.

Thankfully that ended on Tuesday night at Starbucks in San Juan Capistrano!

Sam had found a couple of additional officiants for us to interview on The Knot and Tom was quick to respond and easy to set up an appointment with.

We were really impressed with how professional Tom looked and how he carried himself.  He was pretty much exactly what we were looking for!

Tom's an elementary school principal, but he has been doing weddings on the side for 6 years starting when his cousin asked him to perform their ceremony on a family vacation in Mexico.  Tom pursued a career in marriage and family therapy before he went into education, which was an unexpected bonus because he definitely gave us a little mini counseling session and didn't seem preachy or judgmental.

He also shared a lot about his own family and assured us that it's totally normal for couples to struggle setting boundaries with parents and in-laws as they enter into marriage.  He told us that from his own personal experience he cannot impress upon us enough the importance of setting boundaries with our parents and families from the very beginning of our married life.

He reinforced the crappy truth that people's feelings are going to get hurt by us setting boundaries whether we do it now or we do it when we have our own kids.  He said there was so much unnecessary drama with his parents based on his own inability to set boundaries with them and it really hurt his wife and his relationship with his parents.

That totally hit home for Sam and I, because we have two AMAZING families that would love to spend every second with us.  Unfortunately, we haven't been able to master the fine art of being in two places at once, so we're trying to split our holidays and time between our families.

If it were just a matter of our parents and siblings, that would be less difficult, but we have three extended families to fit in as well.  Sam's mom's side of the family spends almost every holiday all together, which is a bit daunting for me because I worry about the expectations they will have for Sam and I.  My parents split holidays between my mom's family (grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins) and my dad's family (grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousins).  We spent Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with one side, Christmas Day and Easter with the other, and split up Mother's Day and Father's Day.

I think my family is prepared to have Sam and I MIA at family functions and holiday events now that they have to share me (more formally) with the Galles.  It's tough for me though, because I realize that I'm going to miss out on a lot.  We'll only be spending 50% of the holidays with my side of our family.  Of that 50%, probably 33% will be with the Santis, 33% with the Hunters and 33% with just my immediate family.

I am really, really excited about getting married, and I'm sure Sam and I are lucky to have been working on this whole family integration thing over the last 10+ years.  I just wish it was easier.

Dr. and Mrs. Wolson

Our last wedding of the 2013 wedding season was this past weekend.  To sum it up, Elton John may have said it best: "Can you feel the love tonight?  It is where we are."  This weekend was so full of love that it was palpable.  

The weekend started off with a little time at the pool with Sam's family.  It was nice because I had the opportunity to tell Lisa and George how much it means to me and how honored I am to wear their mother's diamond in my engagement ring.  

Sam and I were also able to show his parents some of the wedding planning we've been doing over the last several months.  It was neat too because our tastes are similar to Pete and Margaux's and we were able to see some of the same themes from our plans at their wedding on Sunday.  Rich and Sue helped us pick out our Save the Dates too!  I made a bunch of mockups for Sam to check out last week and he picked the two he liked the best for them to decide between.  

We met up with all of the out of town guests and local friends who were staying at the hotel for drinks at the hotel bar on Saturday night.  While everyone was mingling it gave me a chance to talk to Leo about it and thank him for picking out such a beautiful diamond.  I told him that I love him and I will always think of him when I look down, and he told me that he loves me too.  It was a really bittersweet moment because it's so evident how much he's aged in the 10 years Sam and I have been together, and he's really starting to show his mortality.  I guess that it reminds me a lot of Papa Hunter and Papa Santi too, which can be a little hard to think about.

The Celniker/Marcus family kept the party going with dinner at Red O.  Here's my Instagram pic from dinner, we were sitting on the patio watching the sunset and enjoying some yummy food and delicious beverages but most importantly fabulous company.  It was nice finally meeting Pete's relatives (who are also related to Sue, Lisa and George) from the East Coast.  We also had a great time catching up with Sam's cousins.  We don't get to see Dan, Sean and Mikaela often enough and rarely all together.  I get to chat with Mikaela on the phone every so often, and I keep up with Dan a little bit online when he posts interesting articles, but I really only get to catch up with Sean when we're in person and we don't get to see him very often.  

On Sunday, I spent a few hours with Miss Margaux in her suite with the ladies from her bachelorette party and we had a great time watching her get her hair and makeup done.  It was really, really fun to see all the girls again and the vibe in the room was awesome.  Margaux seemed totally calm and relaxed, all the girls were so happy to be there with her and it was just the nicest afternoon.  

Plus, the Niners won!

At about 3pm I headed down to Sue's hotel room where she and Mikaela were getting ready with Lisa. Mikaela did a great job on Sue's hair and makeup and it complimented her dress fabulously.  Lisa wore a gorgeous dress (perhaps from Sean's wedding) and looked really beautiful as well.  The boys all looked very dapper in their tuxes, and for the first time, I really felt like I was part of the family when we grabbed a drink in the hotel bar before we headed down to the wedding. 

The best part was that Sam made it to the wedding!!!  He was waiting for us when we arrived at Cafe la Boheme and looked so handsome in his black tux with his red tie and red pocket square.  We were all looking so good the photographers took a bunch of photos of the whole family while we were standing in the courtyard.  In fact, we were the subject of a BUNCH of photos in the courtyard.  :-)  Then it was time to head on in and take our seats.  It was really interesting, we all were seated at our tables and then Margaux came in from outside, walked across the dance floor and up to the beautiful giant fireplace to meet Pete.  They were married right there, with all of us sitting at our tables, and it totally worked.  Margaux had been saying she wanted a non-wedding feel and without an aisle and the rows of seats it definitely seemed a little more intimate and personal and fitting for their personalities.  The vows were just amazing!  They memorized their own vows and they weren't short little things!  They were just so heartfelt! 

After dinner, Sam and I did a little bit of dancing, but the DJ portion of the night seemed SO short!  It was fun though, and Sam and I got to dance a bit.  It's funny to think the next time we're all together at a wedding it will (probably) be ours unless one of the other cousins has a REALLY short engagement.  

Sam and I had to drive in tandem home after the wedding was over since he had to come up after being on call.  Because it was late and  we talked on the phone the whole way back and then fell into bed and passed out!

All in all, this was a WONDERFUL wedding weekend and I am so happy for Dr. and Mrs. Wolson!