The Guest List

So far, the worst part about wedding planning is, without a doubt, the guest list.  Obviously we have two families that need to be accommodated as well as ten years worth of mutual friends and two lifetimes of best friends.  It all adds up to a lot of people.

And that is the crux of our dilemma.  Where to make the cuts.  Where are the natural dividing lines of social circles?  As the bride, I feel like it's my responsibility to bridge the gap between my parents and Sam, who in turn will have to head up the conversations with his parents.  It's a well-rehearsed, choreographed dance that Sam and I are managing these days.  I suppose all couples go through a bit of this, especially with a fixed budget and limited venue capacity, but that doesn't ease my anxiety.

I am still in the honeymoon phase of wedding planning; I want to please everyone.  I am told by former brides that this phase will wear off... and hopefully that will happen soon.  I can't imagine going through the next 10 months of planning trying to make my mom, Sam's mom, Sam and I happy.  That sounds completely exhausting!

So for now, as we try to cut our list down to the maximum venue capacity, I am torn between making Sam and I happy, making my parents happy, and making Sam's parents happy.

Balance

Mom and I had a rough conversation on Tuesday night.  Not a bad one, but one that was difficult and focused on my shortcomings.

Balance.  I am not very good at maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

I never have been.

In high school it was all about water polo.  I distinctly remember missing my English Exit Exam because I had a water polo tournament the same weekend and it was far more likely that I would get into college being scouted as opposed to on my academic merits.

Then in college I stepped back from water polo and focused on school so that I could achieve success in a career some day.  And I poured myself into my grades- getting on the Dean's List a couple of times.

The healthiest I have been in my life was in 2011 when I knew I was leaving my job and started focusing on myself instead of my career.  I worked out, I spent time with friends and I did my best not to stress out.

All of that changed when I got my current job.  Small company, lots of hats to wear, and never enough hours in the day to finish my to do list.  I do not do well with stress. Not that that's news to me.  I have always been a stress eater.  I definitely must have high levels of the hormones that cause stress-induced weight gain.  Boy am I a sucker for comfort food when I am wigged out.  And boy am I wigged out.

I feel undervalued and under-appreciated  at work.  I am frustrated that we have no metrics on which I can base marketing decisions and we have no infrastructure to track metrics.  I am trying to conquer the world and I am chained to a slab of stone that is weighing me down and making it tough to even tread water let alone swim to shore.

I am waiting for the next chapter of my life with Sam to begin- and apparently he is hellbent on taking his sweet ass time.  I feel like every time someone else gets engaged it's just another reminder that perhaps something is wrong with me and that's why it hasn't been my turn yet.  Paranoia much?

And to distract myself, I threw myself into work.  I should have thrown myself into working out, but I guess ya live and learn.  I just thought if I could get that one extra project done, or caught up on the day's emails that I would feel like I was making some headway.

So now I need to focus on making healthy choices- Hunter and I are going to start jogging and work our way up to 5K distances again.  I need to make better nutritional choices.  I need to let the stress and the anxiety about getting engaged and planning a wedding and trying to keep our home tidy.

So here we go.

Downton Abbey

So this weekend I am recovering from the exhaustion of last weekend in NOLA.  I am very overloaded and overwhelmed at work and at home.  But at least now I'm relaxing on the couch and mostly caught up from the craziness.

Yesterday I spent the day doing long overdue housework.  It amazes me how much nicer everything looks when the dishes are put away, the carpet vacuumed and the laundry done.  I don't blame Sam, but my goodness, I wish that he would have the decency to pick up after himself a bit more.  It's tough to come home and have a kinds of things going on for me to clean up.

I also stopped at Lowes and picked up some plant food for our budding hydrangeas and rubber plant.  I also bought some soil acidifier to help turn my hydrangeas blue.  Apparently that is what keeps the blooms blue!  I sometimes wish we had a bigger patio area so that I could put more garden in.  Of course, now that Hunter likes to eat most leaves it might not be so great to have a garden.  But I suppose I could train him to keep away from all of them.

Sam really wants to move somewhere with a yard for Hunter, nothing too big, but somewhere were he can runaround.  Obviously I think that would be ideal, but I also think that Hunter prefers to be with us as opposed to outside alone.  It would be great if I could get a doggie door and have him potty outside by himself while I'm at work, and let himself out to sit out into the sun in the afternoon.

Today I bought the first three seasons of Downton Abbey on our AppleTV.  Mom and Nonna just love it and I have lots of friends who are in love with it too.  So here I am, a bit late to the party, but catching up with the masses.  I am enjoying it so far, and I can see why ladies enjoy it.  It reminds me a lot of A Game of Thrones to be honest... all the chivalry, the royalty, the servants being treated as family.

I think I will like it quite a bit!

Long Day

The work keeps piling up, and there's still only me to get everything done.  I feel like I need to hire an assistant either at work, or at home!

I had the best intentions of making Sam a nice, home-cooked dinner tonight.  Instead, I got stuck late at the office and left close to 5:30... I called to check on him and he was still making his way home.  Ooops.  Needless to say, I stopped and picked up the pre-roasted chicken at Ralph's along with a bagged salad, an avocado, and 3 tomatoes.  Let me tell you, it tasted damn good.

And then I put in close to 3 hours of work while Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix played in the background, Sam dozed on the couch, and Hunter brought me his ball for an intermittent game of fetch.

All in all, I clocked over 11 hours working today.  When I finished after 9PM, I put Sam to bed, cleaned the kitchen and walked Hunter.  Then I did some organizing of my desk and am heading to bed immanently.

Tomorrow, I am headed up to Sherman Oaks (LA) for an 11-2 meeting.  Thankfully, Pete and Margaux lent me Invictus on tape and I will probably knock out 3.5 of the 9.5 hours while commuting in traffic.  Ah, the life of a young professional.

PS- Too tired to even process this, but I officially got word that I have satisfied the requirements for the UCI Extensions Program Marketing Certificate.  Woohoo!  I set out to accomplish this and start a career in marketing back in January 2011 and 21 months later I have accomplished both things.  More about this later!