"I'm going to have to let you go"

I went into my boss's office on Monday at 2:05 for our usual, bi-monthly marketing meeting.  I was running a few minutes late because I had received an email from Twitter that our password had been changed so I had to alert them that I hadn't done anything of the sort and change the password back.  When I arrived at my boss's office, our HR manager was there, but I didn't think too much of it.  When I sat down, I had a page of notes to remind me to follow up on our ongoing marketing initiatives and plan for the following two quarters.

As I sat down, my boss began talking.  He said, "I was crunching some numbers over the weekend and it turns out we're not losing money, we're bleeding money.  And I think I'm going to have to..." he paused, and took a moment to compose himself.

He's going to renege on the raise he gave you 6 days ago,  I told myself.

He started again, "I've decide I'm going to have to let you go."

I sat there in a stunned silence.  He started going on about the checks he had cut me, one for the past pay period, one paying me out through the end of the week (which would have been my PTO), and then the reimbursements for my cell phone and internet bills.  My mind was wandering so I was only half paying attention to what he said.

Let me go, but you just gave me a superlative annual review on the November 7, and you gave me a raise on November 11 with another raise promised on June 1, 2014.  You can't possibly be letting me go.

It dawned on me that when I received an email from Twitter saying that our password had been changed it was because the HR assistant was already going through and systematically locking me out of all of the social media and website administration.

What a shot to the gut.

Not only were they letting me go, they didn't trust my professionalism and integrity enough to believe that I wouldn't vindictively tamper with the department and marketing program I worked so hard to build in the last two years.

I was completely removed from the system by the time one of my favorite coworkers helped me carry my belongings to my car.  Standing there, putting his contact information into my phone, I received a message alerting me that my Microsoft Exchange credentials had been changed.

I called Sam, then my Dad and finally my sister while I was driving home and they all expressed the same shock I was feeling.  People don't get magnificent reviews followed by raises and then get laid off.  Certainly not within a two week period.  But I guess they do, because it happened to me.

The bigger shot through my heart came the following morning when I had to watch the emails popping up in my inbox letting me know that I was no longer an administrator for this social media platform or that social media platform.  Yeah, I get it.  I finally logged into the remaining platforms and removed myself.  Pulling the bandaid off quickly is truly less painful than just sitting there waiting for the emails.

Not All Compliments Are Created Equal

I got home from work today and did my weigh lifting routine before heading to the gym.  I was a little later than usual (someone had to take a walk and do his business, Hunter!) but I figured it wouldn't be a big deal because our usual teacher wasn't out today.  Man, was I wrong.

I got to class and every single bike against the back wall was taken.  Every. Single. One.

Are you kidding me?  The one day I wear a snug-fitting Lululemon top to spin instead of a baggy t-shirt I am going to be on display to the people behind me.  Cue the self-consciousness.

I did what any girl would do- I immediately texted my girlfriends for support.  The responses were priceless.

My Texts:
Showed up late to spin today and couldn't get a back row bike- it's the first day I have worn a tight Lululemon (muffin top exposing) shirt.  FML.

Nobody stares at the ass in front of them... except me... right?

Turns out I am not the only one with a muffin top, thank God I have a nice rack.

Responses:
From Amy- "You have such great form that if anyone looks at your ass it's going to be because they are checking out your stance"

From Carina- "LOL ur all good.  Gym judgement is silly!!!"

From Sam- "That's what you get for having a muffin top!"

So what did I do?  I spun my little heart out!  I figured if I was going to be the chunky girl on the bike I could at least get a helluva workout in and have people respect me for that.  Our sub, who I've had before and I am convinced is a little nuts, is forevermore to be known as The Spin Nazi.  (Seinfeld shout-out!)  She is seriously hard work, but not as fun as Jen.

Well, about 10 minutes before class was over, I was sweating all over myself and prepping for an awesome finish to my workout.  I looked up and The Spin Nazi is totally grinning at me and mouthing something that seemed encouraging although I couldn't tell what she was saying.  The next thing I knew, she called me out for having great form.

Wow.  There is no higher compliment when you are working your butt off than to have the group fitness instructor acknowledge your amazingness in front of the entire class.  Yes, it's pretty damn rewarding.  And honestly, I worked even harder that last 10 minutes after she recognized my effort.