Christmas Eve

I may just squeak this post in before midnight... and then it's off to bed to dream of dancing sugar plums.  Christmas Eve was really different this year, it was my first in Southern California and it was 72 degrees- most definitely shorts weather!  Sue, Rich, and I drove up to LA where they went to visit Sue's Aunt and Uncle and I drove Margaux down to our apartment to make Christmas Eve dinner.  And my goodness did Margaux deliver!  These are a few shots of our beautiful antipasto buffet on the bar...

I can take NO credit for the amazing dinner, Margaux took care of everything for me while I sat at the bar and we gabbed.  I did set our table... and no dinner would be complete without some serious table decorations.  I pulled out the Waterford crystal water glasses that Nonna Santi bought me every year for my birthday and used my good linen napkins even though that means lots of laundry for me tomorrow.  :-)

 

Here's our fantastic chef with my sweet man, enjoying martinis and Sam's early arrival home from the hospital.  Sam has been getting home anywhere between 7:30pm and 1:30am on this orthopedic surgery rotation and it's been hellacious for him.  Last night, on his parent's first day, he didn't get home until 10:30.  I felt so badly for him, when clearly all he wanted was to get to spend time with his parents and they with him.  Sometimes it is so frustrating for me not to be able to give them what they all want.  

It was a night of meshed traditions, we all shared the holiday memories from our childhoods and the wonderful things that we wanted to carry forward in future holidays.

Unbeknownst to us, Sue and Rich stopped with Pete to purchase Sam a menorah since we've been using the Target stickum menorah that my mom and I bought so far this Hanukkah.  It's so beautiful, they did a wonderful job picking it out for him.  And I think Sam likes it a lot, which is great because for the last 2 years he hasn't found anything he really liked.  Now we'll get to celebrate Hanukkah for real!

And as we lit the candles we realized we need some practice saying the prayer... and also remembering what the story and history is behind the festival of lights.  Thank goodness for Google!  

The menorah was such a great gift, one that Sam and I will probably use the rest of our lives...

Finally, after dinner,  we celebrated Pete's birthday (belatedly) with champagne and Grammy Hunter's Grasshopper Pie- one of my favorites.  Although my family wasn't with me physically, I had one thing on the table from each of my grandmas which made me acutely aware of all the family history that came before tonight, and all the traditions we will get to continue in the future.

It was a little sad for me to be texting my sister, who flew home for Christmas to see our parents.  My family went to dinner with two amazingly wonderful families from our hometown and it would have been great to have participated in that.  Carina texted me that she broke a glass at dinner, and I broke a bowl doing dishes so clearly we were channeling the same clumsiness tonight.  :-)  Best sister ever!  And after dinner I called Nonna and Papa Santi to check where Santa was.  It may seem silly, but Nonna used to tell us every Christmas Eve where Santa was after we finished dinner... I believe the tradition started the first year we went to Hawaii for Christmas.  As I was feeling nostalgic, I wanted to hear Nonna's voice, and low and behold, she knew exactly where Santa had last been seen- over the empire state building in NYC.  :-)

After I got off the phone and I snuggled into bed next to Sam, I waited patiently for him to fall asleep.  Then I got up and snuck into the living room where I played Santa for the first time- stuffing our stockings the way my wonderful mother still does.  And when I went to stuff my own stocking, I was shocked to find that my mom had already done it for me- Mom you are truly THE BEST.  And so I sit here, slightly moist-eyed, and realize that the true spirit of Christmas is not tied to who you are, or who you are with in the moment.  The true spirit of Christmas is something you carry inside of you.

xoxoxo

I love you Mom, Dad, Carina and Maxy- Merry Christmas!

One Week To Go

We are down to the last week before Christmas... 

• The Christmas cards have all been mailed (success!)
• All the presents are wrapped and under the tree.
• Obviously, as you've seen in the photos posted, our apartment looks very festive and Christmassy. The decorations have been nice because Sam has hardly been home this month, and somehow turning on the tree and the lights on our balcony makes the apartment feel less lonely.  
• My wonderful family (and Sam's) has been sending gifts, and I promise they are all under the tree waiting for December 25th.  Sam keeps saying that it looks a little selfish that we have already piled everything up, but again, it somehow makes me feel a little more loved.
• I'm almost finished with my Christmas shopping- only 2 people left on my list!  And I picked up the stocking stuffers last night on my way home from work, so that's done.  
• I bought bacon for Christmas morning breakfast to go with the incredibly Sticky Buns that Scott and Lisa sent us from Williams&Sonoma.  
• I have tried to throw myself into planning and preparing and cleaning to distract me from my loneliness. 

Full disclosure: this has been one of the toughest holiday seasons of my adult life.  (2009 was pretty horrible because Papa Hunter was losing his battle with metastatic prostate cancer, and it definitely takes the cake.) 

1. Sam's schedule has him gone so much that this has been the loneliest holiday season of my life.  In early med school he was around a lot, and by the end of medical school I had lots of friends I celebrated with in the weeks leading up to Christmas.  
2. 2011 will be the first time I don't spend Christmas with my family.  The only other time I haven't spend Christmas Day with my nuclear family was in 2006; my parents and Carina went to Hawaii, and I spent Christmas Day with the Hunter side of my family.  Even then, I was with blood relatives.  

It's so weird to think that none of my family will be celebrating Christmas with me this year, and even stranger to think that I won't be participating in my family's little kookie traditions.  Even typing this I am getting teary-eyed and choked up.  Is this what being an adult is?  Giving up the things you love?  I gotta tell ya, when I said I wanted to be a grown up, this is not what I had in mind.  

Sam asked me last night what I want for Christmas and I didn't have an answer for him.  The things I want for Christmas this year don't fit in boxes with wrapping paper because they're intangible.

Orthopedic Rotation

Tonight starts Sam's Orthopedic Surgery rotation at UCI... It's 9:23pm as I start typing and he is still not home yet.  Oh what a wonderful 12 days of Christmas this is going to be!  I jest, I jest.  In all seriousness, as much as we've been pleasantly surprised by the lack of crazy thus far in Sam's intern year rotations, I think all our worst thoughts are about to come true.  

So what will I do?  Well, for starters, I am going to try to get together a group of folks to watch the Newport Beach Boat Parade sometime this week.  I've made plans to go every year, and every year I cancel because it's raining.  This year, I'm going to try to get a group of friends to commit to dinner and make a reservation along the water where we can watch the parade from the warmth of indoor seating and delicious adult beverages.  What can I say?  Ya get older, ya get wiser.

On the flip-side, I am apparently still a novice at online shopping.  I wanted to buy Sam a fancy Christmas stocking so that mine didn't look so snobby- I should mention that mine is not diamond-crusted or anything, as you can see in the photo, it's an embroidered/cross-stitched picture of a bear on a rocking horse and a Christmas Tree with presents beneath it and it has my name sewn on it.  Nonna Santi got it for me when I was born and it's always had a very special place in my heart because stockings continue to be a BIG part of my family's Christmas tradition.  Anyway, I really wanted to include Sam and his family in the magic of stockings, so I went online and found a bunch of really cool ones.  Rather than going over the top, I figured I would see how this year goes before I bought everyone in his family a new stocking.  So I took some time and really considered what would be a nice, non-denomenational stocking scene that wasn't too girly or child-themed.  I picked out one that was really fancy and ornate, like an idiot.  When the stocking arrived, it turned out that I ordered a DO-IT-YOURSELF cross-stitch stocking craft kit.  Oh.My.God.  The reviews online, when I looked closer, said that it took one woman 4 months to finish.  FOUR MONTHS PEOPLE.

Of course Sam wants me to begin work right away, but I have never cross-stitched anything in my life.  I tried to watch a you tube video but that only further convinced me that I'm screwed.  Hopefully over the weekend I will have some time to sit down and focus my energy on beginning this project.  If I fail, my Mom said she will look around and find the perfect one for Sam next year... talk about having a great plan B.  I mean honestly, just looking at that jumbled spaghetti-looking mess of threads makes me anxious!

So anyway, as the 12 days of Christmas kick off tomorrow, I will be channeling all of my crafty talents and getting ready to undertake the project I am affectionately referring to as: "Make Sam's Stocking By December 2012."  With all the time I'm going to have alone in the evenings perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing to have ordered a do-it-yourself stocking kit.

End of November

Tonight we had Sam's medical school roommates over for dinner and cooked chicken on the new BBQ. We got to have leftover pie from Thanksgiving, and veggies, and some rice.  It was very nice to catch up with the guys, and the apartment is SO festive that it made the whole evening all the better. 

Sam had the day off finally, and he got to go golfing and play tennis- which was great!  Tomorrow he goes on the Night Shift until Monday morning, December 5th.  Poor guy.  He'll have to work nights on his birthday and that means no celebrating after today.  

My childhood best friend is coming to Irvine this weekend after her residency interview at UCLA on Saturday- I can't wait!  Michelle hasn't been out to visit in a long time because she's been so busy with medical school in Texas.  I have been out to see her once, and I'm going to Dallas for her graduation this June.  

I can't wait for December to get here, so that we can officially have the countdown to Christmas!

Gratitude

This morning, Mom and Dad wanted to pick up a few last minute items that we had forgotten in all our shopping and decorating.  We headed into Target to buy a Christmas wreath that my Dad hung over the fireplace, a poinsettia to put near the hearth, and red place mats to match the tablecloth Mom brought me.  She even threw in a set of 4 red plates that we can use.  And don't think we forgot Chanukah- we bought a dreidel, some gold covered chocolate coins, and a blue decal menorah with flames just in case Sam's parents can't bring theirs down when they come to visit.  Sam's aunt made us one but it caught fire last year, and he can't find one he likes that we can buy.  C'est la vie.

I think Mom and Dad were both really happy with the decorations when they left.  My Mom is the queen of decorating for the holidays and it would have been incredibly difficult for me to be away from them, not in Moraga, and not decorated environment at Christmas.  My Dad mentioned that he had no idea I spend so much time alone and he's glad I will have such a great, festive home to relax in after work.  I couldn't agree with him more!

And then, after we had everything in place, they had to pack up the car and drive back to Northern California to get home to our little dog, Max.  

Spending time with them  over the last 4 days has reminded me how incredibly lucky I am to have such wonderful family and friends.  I love having visitors, especially Mom and Dad.  And even though I've lived here in SoCal for over 4 years, I still get so sad when it's time to say goodbye.  Maybe this time was especially hard because I won't be able to see them at Christmas, and Sam's not home.

Time to focus on Michelle's visit from Texas next weekend when she interviews at UCLA for residency!  

Black Friday

I have never been Black Friday Shopping before this year.  Mom was definitely missing Carina, her partner in retail shopping, so I agreed to head to the mall with her before meeting one of my tennis class friends to play tennis.

Mom was in my room to wake me up at 6am... WTF?!?!  It's the holidays, why would we get up at 6am to go shopping?  She must have been really confused about which daughter she was spending the holidays with at that point.  :-)  But I digress, we got up and drove to Fashion Island, the mall in Newport Beach.  Our first receipts were stamped 7am.  For the love of God, I was in a mall before 7am people- that is a FIRST!  We bought lots of great stuff that I have wanted for a while, practical kitchen stuff.

Then we went to the Apple store and I hit the jackpot.  Mom's 3G hasn't been functioning with her Words With Friends (which she is addicted to) so I had promised her I would fix it for her.  We used her free upgrade and split the cost of a new iPhone 4Gs for me and then had the Apple Store Guys erase my iPhone 4G and upload all of my Mom's stuff onto it.  Not bad, ladies and gentlemen.  She's got the ability to play all her games and I'm going to benefit from Siri (if that is actually a benefit).

We went into Nordstroms and Urban Outfitters and Antonia's.  When we finally got home (I cancelled my tennis date) Dad had pulled up the carpet to run the wires to our surround sound DVD/TV speakers and set the whole system up for us.  I think that was his Thank You to Sam for getting the football games on Thanksgiving.  :-)

From there, Mom, Dad and I went to town Decking the Halls for Christmas.  Dad was a huge help.  After he set up the tree my Mom gave me, he hung the picture that used to belong to my maternal grandparents up in the kitchen, and he hung up our Christmas lights on our patio which required him to run some extension cords and get a little creative.  By far the best thing was that he and Mom bought Sam and I a barbecue as our combined Christmas present and Sam's birthday gift.  When Sam came home, we met him at the garage and my Dad set up a tennis ball on a string so that Sam knows how far to pull in without hitting the front of the car or leaving the tail end to be crunched by the garage door.

When Sam came into the house he was surprised to see how much we had accomplished, he called us Team Disney.  It was great to see him smiling so widely when I took him out on the balcony to see the new grill- he was so excited.  And he and my Mom got to sit on the couch in front of the fireplace while Dad and I grilled filet mignon and asparagus to go with Mom's salad and the left over sweet potatoes from Thanksgiving Dinner.

It was a really nice dinner.  We opened and decanted the Carmenere wine from the Mont Gras winery we visited with Sam's parents in Chile.  I bought them the bottle for their birthday gifts and they were super pleased with it.  It was, as I said, a really nice dinner.  And Mom and I had wrapped her other gift for Sam's birthday and gotten him a card so that we could sing to him with a candle in his piece of left-over pie after dinner.  She bought him a couple of cute ornaments- a soccer player, one that says JOY, and one that says "Better Not Pout".  I think he liked them because he immediately got up and hung them.  He even broke out the espresso alfahores (cookies) from Chile to share with my folks.

Thanksgiving 2011

My parents came down from Northern California on Tuesday night to celebrate Thanksgiving with Sam and I.  On Wednesday, while Sam and I were at work, they unloaded their car and brought into the apartment all of our Christmas gifts from the Santi and Galle sides of the family, the serving dishes and little things Nonna Santi sent me, and the Thanksgiving Dinner stuff- Mom's roasting pan, the electric knife, etc.  

I came home, and we went through some of our family photos from wine tasting this summer so my Mom could pick some for the family Christmas card.  While we were on the couch around the computer, I showed them the ease and convenience of Shutterfly for making Christmas Cards.  Dad loved it.  We picked out the background and the photos right then and there and ordered them the cards.  Not too bad at all!  And just in time for Sam to get home from the hospital and for us to head to Mom and Dad's favorite sushi restaurant, Buddah's Favorite, for dinner.  

Thursday morning, Dad was hurting for a lack of football.  Sam and I cancelled our cable TV while I was unemployed and we haven't set it back up yet.  He went down to Mutt Lynch's on the peninsula to watch the Green Bay v Detroit game while I got the Turkey going.  Mom wasn't feeling 100% so she stayed mostly out of the kitchen, and since Sam was gone working, this was really my first Thanksgiving that I cooked solo.  We perfected our Crockpot Turkey method this year by performing a double wing-ectomy which helped the lid fit snuggly on the stoneware.  While the turkey was cooking, I made my first from-scratch pumpkin pie.  It was fun!  I used a weight watchers recipe and I have to say, the phyllo dough crust wasn't all that great but the pumpkin filling was delish!  

Right around noon, Dr. Galle surprised Mom and I by coming home early- yay!  And he did Dad a big favor by figuring out how to get the Dallas v Miami game on our TV via online streaming through the laptop.  Dad was quite impressed.  Because the turkey was in the crockpot, we didn't have to do much in the afternoon.  Sam took two little cat naps, and we took a walk before the 49er game started- which we found online streaming in HD.

Dad and Sam hung out on the couches and watched the game while I made us mashed sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, and gravy.  Mom helped me out and did the stuffing on the stovetop since we had pulled the turkey out of the crockpot and put it in the oven to brown and crisp the outside.  Just FYI: we timed dinner perfectly with halftime.

After dinner, Mom and I did the dishes and the boys resumed their places on the couch to watch the end of the 3rd quarter of the game.  Unfortunately, as you know, the game did not end well for Jim Harbaugh, but at least we had wine, pie, and whipped cream to cheer us up. 

Holiday Season

Finishing up my fall quarter classes was very time consuming last week.  I am so thankful to be finished with everything!  There's a cool class offered this winter that I really want to take, but I'm worried about the course load interfering with launching the marketing campaign at work.  The good news is that I have several classmates who will be taking this class, and they are more than willing to help with the workload.  

The new job has been great- last week I finished redesigning the logo and started on the business card template.  I'm organizing a professional photo shoot this coming week, and baking cupcakes to surprise my coworkers.

With the holidays fast approaching, I spent this weekend cleaning house and doing laundry.  Last night we went to Ryan's house to watch the Cal v. Stanford football game, which was fun.  We got to catch up with a few of the guys who have been on their away rotations this fall.

Today was a cold, rainy day- I was happy to be inside!  I made Christmas presents for Sam, his parents, and his brother.  It took me forever, but I'm really happy with the end product.  I spent some time on a project for work before making dinner.  And Sam and I designed our inaugural Christmas Photo Card while catching up on last week's TV.  He still has to edit the letter, but that is less crucial because I wanted to take advantage of the promotional offers on Shutterfly and they are expiring tomorrow.  With any luck I should have everything addressed and in the mail by December 2nd!  

Anyway, Sam and I are heading to bed.  He has the day off tomorrow but I need to get to work early.  I can't wait to see my parents when they come into town Tuesday night- it will be fun to have them visit.

Gift Wrap

I can't believe that the holiday season is almost here... my parents come to visit in 9 days for Thanksgiving!  Hence I am trying to get their gifts and my sister's wrapped and labeled so they can drive them to NorCal when they head home.  Next on my agenda is to start working on gifts for Sam's family... I already know what I'm doing, it's just a matter of sitting down and taking on the project.  Maybe I will do that this afternoon...

Sam took his Orthopedic Surgery Department Exam yesterday.  It's an annual exam that ensures the residents will pass their Board Exams and graduate from Residency.  He has been really bummed lately because his Trauma schedule has him working the entire week of Thanksgiving without a day off.  I think this mostly troubles him because my parents are coming down Tuesday-Sunday and he won't be able to spend a single day with them.  Making things worse, he has to work nights on his birthday so we won't be able to celebrate until 4 days later.  To ice the cake, he is pretty sure that he won't get Christmas Eve or Christmas Day off when his parents are in town.  And we're both assuming NYE is a bust as well.  [Insert plea to be including in someone's NYE plans here]  

I keep trying to tell Sam that things will get better, but unfortunately that won't happen until 3rd year.  Next year will in fact be worse.  He will be on call overnight every 4th night and the 4 2nd year residents will have to take turns covering the weekends.  Not good.  I am accepting any and all advice from residents and significant others who have survived the 2nd year of ortho residency.

Happiness

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!  

I love you!

*Note* I do not mean to sound like I am bragging, but this was the best week of my career.

No, seriously, it was the coolest.  I got to redesign the company logo... well I'm still working on it, but hopefully I will be done sometime next week.  And I got to know the other 9 people in the company- some a little better than others.  The techs who perform the installations, maintenance, and cabling are all REALLY nice.  I especially like our HR woman who is the only other girl in the office.  She and I have been bonding over our history in sports (hers in soccer and mine in water polo) and I also really like her husband, the tech supervisor/manager.  He set up my new MacBook with both OS and Windows operating systems and set up a VPN (virtual private network) so that I can run all our office programs and access our servers from home.  My boss, the CEO/President/Owner, gave me permission to work from home for an hour or two in the morning or afternoon if it's too noisy in the office and I'm being distracted.  Right now, I don't think I'll need to do that... but it's good to know that I have the option.  In all seriousness, I will probably wait until we start heavily launching the social media campaign to do something like that, and also until I have my company phone.

On that topic: they want me to have a work cell phone, and have given me two options.

• The first option is to use my own personal cell phone and have the company set up a google voice phone number for me to use professionally that will forward to my cell phone.  The downside of that, is all outbound calls would have my cell phone number on caller ID unless I block it.  A former co-worker told me that she would NOT recommend blocking my number because many people (myself included) don't answer unknown calls.  I also don't know if I could sync my personal Mac calendars with my Outlook calendar on my iPhone or if I have to choose one to be primary.  
• The other option is that the company would provide me with a cell phone to be used only professionally... which is kind of a cool idea because then I would be able to keep a clean division between work and personal communication.  It does, however, complicate matters because then I have 2 phones to keep track of and probably a new phone to learn because it's doubtful they would get me an iPhone... although they did get me a MacBook.  

In addition to getting to know my new co-workers, I also had two business lunches- my first ever!  Wednesday I took my boss' place at a leads sharing luncheon and Friday we met one of the Senior Board Members for our city's Chamber of Commerce.  My boss asked me to make an effort to attend some of the Chamber's monthly meetings when the start back up in January, so stay tuned for more on that.

All in all, life is going well for me... I am eager to end classes this coming week because as it is I am going straight from work to class on Mondays and Wednesdays and Sam has been complaining that he never gets to see me.  My how the tables have turned!  In all seriousness, it's doubtful that I would take 2 classes while working full-time at this job.  I will possibly take one class in January, but the one offered is supposedly very academic and numbers oriented so I am a little concerned about my ability to juggle that and the responsibilities of my job.  

Time will tell!

Back To Work

Well ladies and gentlemen, I am officially back in the workforce as of Monday.  I accepted a job as a Marketing Manager at a small communications technology company in Lake Forest, ironically just around the corner from my previous company's building.  That should make for some exiting run-ins at the food court!

So far, I really like all of my new coworkers.  There are 2 front office guys, the owner/CEO/president, 4 service techs, 1 sales guy, the HR woman, and myself.  Yes, that means there are only 2 ladies in the office... unless you count the owner's dog, Mindy, who is our mascot and comes to work every day.  

I have definitely take a HUGE bite that will probably take some chewing, but I am really happy in my new environment.  Despite the unavoidable headaches that I will probably be experiencing when things get underway, I think this is an unbelievable opportunity for me and certainly something that I am excited to pursue.

And now, I am headed to bed (where Sam has been for an hour already) because I am making the effort to be a little more professionally dressed at work this time around.  If anyone has any marketing connections, I would greatly appreciate any and all advice that I can get- I am trying to build myself a support network so that when things come up that I haven't seen before I have people I can rely on for help.

PS- I am now one of those people who puts a notepad next to the bed because in the middle of the night last night I was up, mind racing, and the only way I could get it to calm down was by writing everything on paper.

PPS- Next week my Fall Quarter marketing classes end, which I could not be more excited about.  It's tough going to work 8-5 and then straight to class until 9:30! 

Migraine Headaches

If you've never had a migraine before, count yourself lucky.  I started experiencing them as a freshman in college, and I've spent the last seven years trying to learn my triggers and figure out how to cope with the symptoms.

A migraine is a debilitating headache that usually affects one side of the head, but can migrate from one area to another.  It can be associated with photosensitivity, phono-sensitivity, nausea, and sensitivity to movement.

For me, migraines seem to be primarily related to my hormones and they give a whole new meaning to the idea of PMS.  During my senior year of college I had migraines almost every month, and my college roommate had to take me to the ER the morning of Super Bowl Sunday because I was unable to function.  I had some success treating my migraines with Excedrin and Excedrin Migraine, but eventually I found myself having a more and more difficult time with my headaches.  

Red wine has also been known to trigger migraines for me.  I do tend to be very sensitive to alcohol- especially red wine- during migraines and have had rebound headaches after a glass of wine with dinner. Now, I try to avoid drinking around the time I am most susceptible to migraines and also if I have been having headaches recently.  

While living in Southern California after graduation, I had another episode with a horrible migraine that I could not get rid of with over the counter medicines.  Just like in college, the migraine set in at night, and I decided I would ride it out over night and reevaluate my situation in the morning.  Unfortunately, the situation hadn't improved by morning and I was in the doctor's office bright and early.  Just like on Super Bowl Sunday, I was given a high dose of medication via injection (those were the only two times I have been happy to get a shot!) and asked to wait a few minutes to be sure the drugs were working.  After a few minutes, my doctor returned and was happy to hear that I was improving.  She prescribed me some migraine medication to take at the onset of a headache, and also some anti-nausea medication.

Through trial and error I have found a drug that works well for me, and I continue to take it at the onset of migraines.  Luckily, I haven't had as many of them lately as I have in the past.  I now find that more often that not, some Excedrin and sleep will take care of any minor headaches at the onset.  My problems start to get more serious when I don't have access to medication and the headache starts to progress.  

Two days ago, I felt a stiffness in my neck which I associated with an odd sleeping position.  By that evening, I had a headache in my left temple and the back of my neck was sore.  I drank a lot of water and went to bed, hoping to sleep it off.  When Sam got up at 5:00 yesterday morning, I was experiencing a full-fledged migraine.  I took one of my migraine pills and hoped for the best- laying there in bed trying not to throw up while counting the minutes.  After a half hour I had no relief and I took a second pill along with one of my anti-nausea pills.  That did the trick.  Within 30 minutes from the second pill my neck relaxed and the throbbing in my temple subsided.  A disappointing side effect of the nausea medicine is that it causes drowsiness. I was passed out cold from 6-10:30 yesterday morning.  Though I did wake up once or twice during that time, I could not get out of bed or focus my thoughts before falling back asleep.  I had forgotten how potent those are!

During class last night I came down with a second migraine... and enough is enough.  I came home from class and took another pill before bed.  Sam was sweet enough to rub my sore neck and help me relax a bit.  

I have been running errands all morning today, and I've been plagued by a dull aching and stiffness in my neck.  I would like to hope for the best, but my recent track record isn't that great.  

• Migraine on the way home from Chile (Nov. 15-16) that went untreated because I couldn't find my medicine.  
• Headaches the mornings of Nov. 17 & 18 that were treated with Excedrin
• Migraine Thursday, Nov. 20
• Migraine Tuesday night through today (Nov.  25-27)

Looks like I have a little too much stress with all the job searching lately!

Contending with the Wall

It's been a rough road for me the past three months.  Continually putting myself out there via resumes and cover letters and being rejected time and time again has not been fun.  "Frustration" does not even begin to describe the feeling of knowing that I can do this and not having the chance to prove myself.  At the end of September, I finally hit the wall: I didn't want to work out.  I didn't want to send out resumes.  I didn't even want to get dressed in the morning.  I was consumed with the fear of being a failure.  Afraid of admitting that maybe I wasn't going to succeed in changing my career to marketing.  

Until three weeks ago, I had been too proud to admit that I may fail.  Inexperience and the tough economy are factors outside my control that are working against me.  And, I admit it now, I may not get my dream job.  I certainly feel beaten down, broken, and as if the whole world is against me.  I honestly can't say if I have the energy and stamina to keep this up.  

I remember an early morning swim set during the fall of my sophomore year of high school.  It was still dark out, biting cold, and we were swimming 50 yards freestyle.  Being the mathematician that I am, I miscounted what number I was on and sprinted my second-to-last 50 yards  thinking I was done.  

"I can't do it," I panted to Coach Drew.  My arms were heavy and my legs were burning.

"Yes you can, Gianna.  You've just hit the wall.  You're going to sprint this last 50, and break through that wall.  Crush that wall."

Sure I would pass out, and gasping for breath, I pushed off the side of the pool and swam like my life depended on it.  I did not die that morning.  I finished that set, and others, before hitting the showers and heading to class.  He was right, I did have it in me to go just a little further.  

That same year, Coach Drew sat us down as a team and read us this quote: 

You have to start by wanting to be a contender, the man coming up, the man who knows there's a good chance he'll never get to the top, the man who's willing to seat and bleed to get up as high as his legs and his brain and his heart will take him.  -Robert Lipsyte, The Contender

So, here's the epic question I am faced with: How do you know if you're up as high as your legs and your brain and your heart will take you, or if you just need to break through your wall?

Parenting

I have been wanting a puppy for a very long time... Sam and I first started talking about getting one when we moved in together in June 2009, but as I have puppy-sat for people I have realized how drastically my life would change if we were to get a dog.  I thought dogs were a lot of responsibility, Oh My God did I underestimate a child! This week I've had the opportunity to help Emily out with her adorable 13 month old son, Ethan.  

First off, Ethan is the world's most easy-going baby (that I have met).  He smiles and laughs from just about the minute he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed.  I never thought twice about coming to stay with Emily while Matt's out of town because Ethan is such a great kid.  That said, Lord, children are a lot of responsibility.  He depends on me to get up and change him, feed him, and take care of him.  He can't be left alone, and now that he's moving around a lot I have to be very vigilant.  

This morning, he wet through his diaper and onto his sheets and blanket.  Oy vey!  Thank goodness his parents have two blankets because if he had to go without it while I washed and dried it I would have been in big trouble!  I quickly put the sheets, his PJs, and his blanket into the washing machine before getting him into the tub to clean up.  Once he was dried off and dressed, we popped into the car and headed to daycare.  I came back home, dried the laundry, and put everything away.  I can't believe how Emily and Matt handle all of this throughout their busy schedules.  

Poor Emily didn't get home until after 9pm last night, and she was out the door at 5:30 this morning.  She certainly doesn't have time to be doing laundry!  And when she gets home from work she barely has enough time to spend with Ethan, let alone take care of her own personal needs.  I honestly don't think I could do what she does... I have such respect for her and the amazing responsibility that she has in her professional life and her role as a mother and wife.  

This has been a very sobering experience... while I like the idea of having a puppy, even that is a big responsibility and a life changing experience.  And while I love Ethan dearly, I do not want the responsibility of having a baby yet.  Mom, Dad, you are nuts for having me when you were my age!!!

Wrapping Up Vacay

Our last day in Chile, Sam and I accompanied Justin and Liz on one of their Education Abroad Program (EAP) cultural tours.  The tour we examined the culture of the Mapuche, one group of the indigenous people of Chile.  The Mapuche were the group of native Chileans who were best able to withstand the Spanish invasion into Chile from Peru.  

We went by bus to the largest Mapuche community in the Santiago area which is located on the fringes of the metropolitan limits.  When we arrived, we were (naively) surprised to find that all communication would be in Spanish... uh, say what?  Sam's Spanish is very good, not quite as conversational as Justin's, but he can communicate about most needs.  My Spanish is basic at best- Donde esta el bano... Uno mas cerveza por favor... No hablo Espano muy bueno... you get the picture.  So it was a struggle for me to comprehend much of the deeper meanings.

We had breakfast and lunch with the Mapuche- both of which were really yummy.  Sam and Justin were really happy with the selection we were provided.

The boys with breakfast

Mapuche roof made of straw and logs

The Andes were incredibly breath-taking, I took a million photos

 This was a huge milestone vacation for me, and I am so honored to have been included in Sam's family's vacation.  The opportunity to go abroad to Chile is something that I will always be so thankful for.

Photos have been added!

I added the photos from our vacation that apply to the blog postings I made while we were abroad.  :-) Enjoy!

Home Sweet Home

Sort of.  I am staying overnight with Emily tonight and tomorrow night while Matt's out of town so that I can give her a hand with Ethan.  She's working 6am-8pm so I am on morning and evening duty- dropping him off at and picking him up from daycare.  I have to say, I am pretty excited to spend some quality time with the little man, and also to get a taste of Mommy-hood.  I definitely say I want a dog sooner rather later, I am make no mistake that someday I want to be a Mom, but this is the first time I will be overnighting with a toddler and responsible for getting him up, changed, clothed, to daycare, and then home, fed, changed, and put to sleep.  It will truly be like I am playing 'house'.  

The upside is that I'll be able to go home to my apartment and check in on things there- finish our laundry, do the dishes from Sam's dinner, and get back in the saddle job searching.  I also have a LOT of homework I need to accomplish before tomorrow night- finalizing the group assignment due tomorrow in my Writing Workshop class took at least 2 hours tonight, and then I've got to write a direct mail submission and read two chapters by 6:30 tomorrow evening.  I also have a project due Wednesday night that I need to take a look at tomorrow in case I have questions and I need to ask a classmate.  

Such is life!  And I had a really productive day so I'm really happy with myself right now.  We did the vast majority of the laundry from our trip, stocked the fridge and pantry, and I cleaned our master bathroom tub and toilet- not my favorite chore!  I am a little bummed that I won't be home tomorrow when Sam gets back from his first day of his second Orthopedic Surgery rotation at the VA, but I promised him I would call him on my way back to the Grants' house after class.  Before I left tonight, I made him home-made salsa and left tilapia in the fridge that he needed to bake when he came back from working out.  I feel somehow better knowing that I didn't abandon him without food during a tough rotation!

I am working on getting the photos up, but school is taking priority right now.  Bear with me a few more days at the most!

Santiago

Terramotos

I don't like driving in non-English speaking countries.  After a very stressful navigation of the city of Santiago we are settled into our hostel and enjoying our last day before heading home.  Yesterday we met up with Justin after visiting yet another museum- the pre-Colombian museum.  This museum features items from before Columbus landed and the Spanish influenced the indigenous people.  

Justin took us to the Lice Bar (Engish translation) for terramotos (earthquakes) which are the unique drink of Chile.  It's half white wine, and half pisco, with a scoop of pineapple icecream on top. The idea is that you have one, and stand up, and then everything starts shaking.  You can also order half of one which is called an aftershock.  It was just terrible!  Then we hit up a Peruvian restaurant that was pretty so-so compared with the amazing dinner we had at the freezing cold restaurant in Santa Cruz.  

Today he sent us on a 4 hour walking tour of the city, which was neat and provided me with some great souvenirs from our trip.  Sam went to climb the hill near our hostel to see the fort on top and I have been catching up on blogging, but I should pack my bags tonight because we check out tomorrow morning and go on a cultural tour with Justin's abroad program tomorrow before we fly home.  Sam and I have to haul our luggage and the case of wine we bought to Justin's house before we leave on the tour and I am NOT excited about it.  LOL.  I'm also hoping that the wine fares better than our baggage did on the way here- of the 6 bottles we bought at least 4 of them are ones we really want to drink and give as gifts when we return.

The Opera House

The Presidential Residence 

Chilean Wine

Today was great.  After a really great breakfast at our hotel, we headed into town to exchange our US dollars to Chilean pesos.  It turned out to be a little more difficult than I expected because I had to go upstairs and have a woman make up a contract stating the exchange rate they were going to give me before they handed out the bills.  Luckily, I managed to complete the transaction all by myself in Spanish!

After the bank, we went to the local museum with the private collection from an arms dealer who was exiled in Chile or stuck in Chile and who founded much of the wine business because he couldn't go back to Napa.  There were fossils, ceramics, portraits, swords, maps, and all kinds of things.  There were rooms devoted to old cars like the model-T, a 1960 Ford Taurus, and a replica of a Delorian.  Outside there were steam engines, wine presses, and hay bale machines.  It took over 2 hours for us to get through the whole thing and I was ready to be done by the end... everything was in Spanish!  I wish they had some translations for us.

From there we tried to locate a winery reccommended by Lonely Planet which was more difficult than expected (as travel tends to be in foreign countries) and we ended up at a different winery by accident that was also listed in the book, Monte Gras.  We took their wine tour, which was very similar to those in Napa, and our guide told us all about the different kinds of grapes and the wines that Chile is known for and those which are unique to this region.  At the end of our tour they let us sample 5 wines instead of 3, which got us all sufficiently hammered of course.  Our guide took a photo of us for their website too, which is neat.

We piled back in the car and pulled up to the winery we had been trying to find just before they were closing.  The guy suggested we buy a bottle of their Malbec, but I don't generally buy wine that I haven't heard of before so I asked if we could taste it before puchasing it and he obliged.  Very sweet of him!  We enjoyed it along with our pineapple, avocado, and tomato back in the hotel room.

For dinner, the family that owned the hotel suggested we try their friend's new restaurant for some Chilean food.  The woman did not speak English, but her daughter did.  They told us they would also be dining there for dinner and would be happy to help us translate the menu.  What they did not tell us, was how difficult this place was to find!  On our 4th attempt at circling the block Rich stopped at a gas station, we got directions, and pulled onto a gravel road next to a winery.  Voila!  And dinner was well worth the effort.  The English-speaking daughter, Virginia, and the chef himself helped us ordering the food, and it was the best meal I have had so far!

Us and the owner of the small restaurant we got to try

We started off with lamb chops and testicles... at the time we didn't know what the testicles were exactly so I only ate one and Sam ate 3.  They were incredibly tender, which is nothing like the previous experience I had with them at Dr. Lee's house.  For our main courses, Rich had rabbit, Sam and Sue both bad bacon wrapped beef filet- Sam with a fried egg on top, and I went out on a limb and ordered a typical Chilean dish that neither Virginia nor the chef knew how to translate- be proud, I am not usually this adventurous within my own country let alone abroad!  My dinner turned out to be beef soup, which was out of this world, and I am so grateful I ordered it.  Pear crepes followed for dessert, and at the end of the meal we took a photo with the chef, Patricio, and he signed a menu for me to take home.

One Crazy Drive

We left Valparaiso and headed South to Isla Negra, the most ecclectic and favorite of all Pablo Neruda's homes.  I am begining to feel that we are on the Pablo Tour since we've seen and heard so much of him in our short time here in Chile.

The road to the small coastal city was incredibly poor- it reminded me of going to my Aunt Annie and Uncle John's house in the mountains.  The road was unpaved, it wound back and forth along the coastal hills, and we were all feeling a bit sick by the time we arrived at Neruda's house.   Isla Negra was much more beautiful than San Sebastiana (the house in Valparaiso) and had much more interesting things inside of it.  Neruda's favorite collections were housed in rooms he added on as needed, and the most impressive collections were mermaids from the bows of ships, glass bottles in his bar, and butterflies and beatles pinned in shadow boxes.  I wish I had been able to photograph the bugs for Jackie, my entymologist college roommate.




We grabbed some empanadas, sent Justin back to Santiago on a bus, hit a roadside fruitstand, and made our way down to Santa Cruz with Sam's folks.  Sam got us remarkably lost along one of the "short cuts" he thought he found, but eventually Rich's intuition and my map-reading got us to our hotel.

Santa Cruz looks like Napa.  We are staying in a hotel that overlooks the vineyards and, behind them, the hills.  Our hotel is very nice.  It's built like a Spanish-style California home, with white stucco and wooden beams.  Unlike Napa (when I was there) this place is freakin cold!

After arriving, we went to dinner at a typical Peruvian restaurant and they had the worst insulation of any place I had ever been.  Not only did we keep our coats on throughout dinner, Sue kept her gloves on.  Overall, the food was really, good.  I had steak and grilled veggies because it was the only thing on the menu that featured vegetables of any kind.  Dear Lord these people need to encorporate more FRESH FRUIT AND VEGGIES into their diets!  We also tried some local wine that is only made in Chile, which was peppery and very warming.

Tomorrow, wine tasting!

Last night in Valparaiso!

Justin is a bit big for his bed

Today was a great day.  We got moved into the "family room" at the hostel last night and that meant Sam and I slept in a queen-sized bed while Justin and Liz shared a bunk bed.  It was really fun to have the whole room to ourselves, and because Justin has a pad lock we were able to lock all of our stuff in the room after breakfast.  

Today we went for a walk down near the port and enjoyed some real local parts of the city.  We climbed back into the hills (Valparaiso is the city of seven hills according to what Sue read in the Lonely Planet) to check out some silver shops.  She bought some beautiful lapis lazuli jewelry- a bracelet and matching earrings.  They are lovely!  We also went into a leather shop, which was really neat.  The guy who owned the shop had all kinds of beautiful purses and wallets.  

After shopping, we had lunch reservations thanks to our friend, the owner of our gelato place.  She recommended Pablo Neruda's house to us yesterday, and when we came in last night she insisted on making us a reservation at the place with the best views in all of Valparaiso- Cafe Turri.  It was some amazing scenery during lunch!  (I will post photos when we get back and link them into these posts as they fit.)  Sam had fried eel, which I did try this time!  I am pleased to report it's just like white fish and nothing like calamari which I expected it to be like.  I had the duck confit which was lovely and had a great sauce!  I probably liked the fried duck at Bebek Bengil in Ubud, Bali better overall, but man the orange sauce at Cafe Turri was out of this world!  Sue and Liz had a really amazing seafood lassagna which had the black ink from the squid cooked into the layers.  It looked like spinach a bit, and didn't really affect the flavor at all.  Kind of neat really.  

After lunch, Liz couldn't catch a bus back to Santiago so we all piled into the rental car and drove out to Vina del Mar which is about 30 minutes South from Valparaiso.  After the boys passed out in the backseat with their heads on my shoulders (adorable picture will be posted ASAP), we got just a bit lost.  We were on our way to the National Botanical Gardens, and pulled over to check the map right across the street from the Easter Island Museum.  What luck!  We tried to take a group photo in front of the statue head they had on display outside, but the woman helping us turned off the camera instead of taking a picture so we had to redo it with just Sue, Rich, Sam and I- Justin and Liz were off and away checking to see if the museum was open or not.  Across the street, there was a very expensive and very nice jewelry store that Sue had read about.  It was REALLY nice, but more than a little out of my price range.  :-)

We got back on the road, headed for the Botanical Gardens.  Rich somehow took directions from one of us backseat drivers which took him onto a toll road.  We had to pay our fee, get off the road, get back on going the other direction, and pay a toll to get back to Vina del Mar.  Oops!  The Botanical Gardens weren't too hard to find after that... and they had 600 different varieties of plants on the grounds.  It was really, really lovely.  Surprisingly, we walked through most of the gardens in about an hour and a half and the photos are really nice- again, I will post them when I'm home and can download them to the computer.  :-)  

Tonight, we have been hanging out in Sue & Rich's hotel room while Liz works on the homework she was supposed to do in Santiago.  Sam and Justin have been playing INSANE scrabble games and Sue and I are kibbutzing (hebrew for "offering unsolicited and arguably helpful advice").  The boys had gone to the market and picked up a liter of beer, a bottle of wine, and a bar of chocolate.  Quite the evening!  I think Rich and Justin polished off the beer; Sam and I definitely made short notice of the wine.