One of my mentors was terminated from her job a little over a year ago, and she's been a great resource to me during the last week.
She reminded me that it's important for me to get clear on my goals and what I want out of a job and career before I start applying to positions. Oops. I already sent my resume out a few times to various people who had me recommended to them via mutual colleagues.
Anyway, the other thing I was told, is that being let go from a job is a loss that has stages similar to grieving. She told me that it's important to feel the emotions and embrace them and then move on from them.
And she's right. It's an emotionally devastating thing to "lose" a job. And really, I didn't lose it, my responsibilities were divided up and spread around the remaining coworkers at the office. I know exactly where my job is, it's with M, A & D. And they cannot do even half of the things I was able to do, so I wish them the very best of luck trying to fill my shoes.
I am so upset that I feel as though I did something wrong. I'm upset my boss told me that he didn't want me to feel like I was being thrown out the front door, because that wasn't what he was doing... but that's exactly what he did. I'm irritated that four people were hired after me and yet I am the one without a job.
I am so frustrated.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Letting Go
It's hard to let go of something you put so much of yourself into. I had so many things I was working on, so many things that I wanted to accomplish in the next year.
I had so much dedication and loyalty to my company, my coworkers and my goals. I was so determined to make it successful.
And it is incredibly disappointing to walk away from all of that. It feels so much like failure.
My wonderful family and amazing future husband have been very positive and have done their very best to remind me that I'm a very talented young woman and I have been successful and will continue to be successful regardless of whether my former employer can see what he's missing.
My vendors have been incredibly supportive as well. I waited until last night when they started calling me, and then this morning I reached out to the vendors who hadn't already been in touch. Everyone was equally as shocked as me. They gave me rave reviews on my LinkedIn page, which I am incredibly grateful for. I a
I went into the office yesterday to turn in the rest of the hardware I'd had in my home office and it was so bittersweet.
On one hand, I know that the people I built relationships with at work were really sad to see me go. They were very supportive and wished me the best. It was very nice to hear that my vendors have been giving my coworkers and boss nothing but positive feedback about working with me and that I am a very talented and creative individual who they enjoyed and appreciated immensely.
That does make me feel very warm and fuzzy inside.
And my vendors have started canvassing their own networks to see if there is any freelance or consulting business for me in addition to in-house full-time positions.
I realize Thanksgiving isn't until next week, but this whole experience is reminding me how lucky I am to have the support system that I have.
I had so much dedication and loyalty to my company, my coworkers and my goals. I was so determined to make it successful.
And it is incredibly disappointing to walk away from all of that. It feels so much like failure.
My wonderful family and amazing future husband have been very positive and have done their very best to remind me that I'm a very talented young woman and I have been successful and will continue to be successful regardless of whether my former employer can see what he's missing.
My vendors have been incredibly supportive as well. I waited until last night when they started calling me, and then this morning I reached out to the vendors who hadn't already been in touch. Everyone was equally as shocked as me. They gave me rave reviews on my LinkedIn page, which I am incredibly grateful for. I a
I went into the office yesterday to turn in the rest of the hardware I'd had in my home office and it was so bittersweet.
On one hand, I know that the people I built relationships with at work were really sad to see me go. They were very supportive and wished me the best. It was very nice to hear that my vendors have been giving my coworkers and boss nothing but positive feedback about working with me and that I am a very talented and creative individual who they enjoyed and appreciated immensely.
That does make me feel very warm and fuzzy inside.
And my vendors have started canvassing their own networks to see if there is any freelance or consulting business for me in addition to in-house full-time positions.
I realize Thanksgiving isn't until next week, but this whole experience is reminding me how lucky I am to have the support system that I have.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
"I'm going to have to let you go"
I went into my boss's office on Monday at 2:05 for our usual, bi-monthly marketing meeting. I was running a few minutes late because I had received an email from Twitter that our password had been changed so I had to alert them that I hadn't done anything of the sort and change the password back. When I arrived at my boss's office, our HR manager was there, but I didn't think too much of it. When I sat down, I had a page of notes to remind me to follow up on our ongoing marketing initiatives and plan for the following two quarters.
As I sat down, my boss began talking. He said, "I was crunching some numbers over the weekend and it turns out we're not losing money, we're bleeding money. And I think I'm going to have to..." he paused, and took a moment to compose himself.
He's going to renege on the raise he gave you 6 days ago, I told myself.
He started again, "I've decide I'm going to have to let you go."
I sat there in a stunned silence. He started going on about the checks he had cut me, one for the past pay period, one paying me out through the end of the week (which would have been my PTO), and then the reimbursements for my cell phone and internet bills. My mind was wandering so I was only half paying attention to what he said.
Let me go, but you just gave me a superlative annual review on the November 7, and you gave me a raise on November 11 with another raise promised on June 1, 2014. You can't possibly be letting me go.
It dawned on me that when I received an email from Twitter saying that our password had been changed it was because the HR assistant was already going through and systematically locking me out of all of the social media and website administration.
What a shot to the gut.
Not only were they letting me go, they didn't trust my professionalism and integrity enough to believe that I wouldn't vindictively tamper with the department and marketing program I worked so hard to build in the last two years.
I was completely removed from the system by the time one of my favorite coworkers helped me carry my belongings to my car. Standing there, putting his contact information into my phone, I received a message alerting me that my Microsoft Exchange credentials had been changed.
I called Sam, then my Dad and finally my sister while I was driving home and they all expressed the same shock I was feeling. People don't get magnificent reviews followed by raises and then get laid off. Certainly not within a two week period. But I guess they do, because it happened to me.
The bigger shot through my heart came the following morning when I had to watch the emails popping up in my inbox letting me know that I was no longer an administrator for this social media platform or that social media platform. Yeah, I get it. I finally logged into the remaining platforms and removed myself. Pulling the bandaid off quickly is truly less painful than just sitting there waiting for the emails.
As I sat down, my boss began talking. He said, "I was crunching some numbers over the weekend and it turns out we're not losing money, we're bleeding money. And I think I'm going to have to..." he paused, and took a moment to compose himself.
He's going to renege on the raise he gave you 6 days ago, I told myself.
He started again, "I've decide I'm going to have to let you go."
I sat there in a stunned silence. He started going on about the checks he had cut me, one for the past pay period, one paying me out through the end of the week (which would have been my PTO), and then the reimbursements for my cell phone and internet bills. My mind was wandering so I was only half paying attention to what he said.
Let me go, but you just gave me a superlative annual review on the November 7, and you gave me a raise on November 11 with another raise promised on June 1, 2014. You can't possibly be letting me go.
It dawned on me that when I received an email from Twitter saying that our password had been changed it was because the HR assistant was already going through and systematically locking me out of all of the social media and website administration.
What a shot to the gut.
Not only were they letting me go, they didn't trust my professionalism and integrity enough to believe that I wouldn't vindictively tamper with the department and marketing program I worked so hard to build in the last two years.
I was completely removed from the system by the time one of my favorite coworkers helped me carry my belongings to my car. Standing there, putting his contact information into my phone, I received a message alerting me that my Microsoft Exchange credentials had been changed.
I called Sam, then my Dad and finally my sister while I was driving home and they all expressed the same shock I was feeling. People don't get magnificent reviews followed by raises and then get laid off. Certainly not within a two week period. But I guess they do, because it happened to me.
The bigger shot through my heart came the following morning when I had to watch the emails popping up in my inbox letting me know that I was no longer an administrator for this social media platform or that social media platform. Yeah, I get it. I finally logged into the remaining platforms and removed myself. Pulling the bandaid off quickly is truly less painful than just sitting there waiting for the emails.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Base & Top Coat
So a few weeks ago I posted that I had ordered a bunch of OPI nail polish on Amazon. So far, everything looks fantastic... although I think that Emerald City Lights is going to have to go on top of a darker base color.
The part of the order that was not so great, was the base coat and top coat, which I ordered in regular nail polish and received in gels.
I decided I didn't want to hassle with the Amazon marketplace returns policy and instead I headed down to 17th Street Beauty Supply in Costa Mesa and inquired about their OPI line. Unfortunately, they were all out of the OPI base and top coats, but the girl working told me that she suggested I try Orly's Bonder base coat and Seche Vite quick-drying top coat. She told me they are the two top sellers at the store, and that she thinks they're way better than OPI's stuff.
I figured I had nothing to lose, and since I'm not much of a base and top coat girl anything was probably going to be better than my usual habit of just painting my nails.
OMG ladies, the girl at the store was NOT kidding!!!
Bonder gives your nails this weird rubbery texture that totally bonds the nail polish to your nails and gives you an extra sticky base that lasts forever.
Seche Vite is a gift from God too - it literally dries my nails in about five minutes. Granted I am still really careful not to bump or ding them, but I am basically able to function one commercial break after painting my nails instead of a full hour long program later.
No joke, the first time I used these two products, my nail polish stayed on for two weeks... through dishwasher, hair washing, showers, etc. I may never go back to painting my nails without this stuff!
The part of the order that was not so great, was the base coat and top coat, which I ordered in regular nail polish and received in gels. I decided I didn't want to hassle with the Amazon marketplace returns policy and instead I headed down to 17th Street Beauty Supply in Costa Mesa and inquired about their OPI line. Unfortunately, they were all out of the OPI base and top coats, but the girl working told me that she suggested I try Orly's Bonder base coat and Seche Vite quick-drying top coat. She told me they are the two top sellers at the store, and that she thinks they're way better than OPI's stuff.
I figured I had nothing to lose, and since I'm not much of a base and top coat girl anything was probably going to be better than my usual habit of just painting my nails.
OMG ladies, the girl at the store was NOT kidding!!!Bonder gives your nails this weird rubbery texture that totally bonds the nail polish to your nails and gives you an extra sticky base that lasts forever.
Seche Vite is a gift from God too - it literally dries my nails in about five minutes. Granted I am still really careful not to bump or ding them, but I am basically able to function one commercial break after painting my nails instead of a full hour long program later.
No joke, the first time I used these two products, my nail polish stayed on for two weeks... through dishwasher, hair washing, showers, etc. I may never go back to painting my nails without this stuff!
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Succulents: 6 Weeks Later
So, it's been six weeks since we planted our succulents on the patio and I want to share with you how they're doing!!!
I didn't really start doing the top down photos until about a week after they were all first planted, so unfortunately you can't really see the before and after as well with this pot. You can tell the succulents have really started to fill in the empty spaces!
This was the only pre planted pot we purchased, and it's been doing really well! I had to turn it a little bit and get it closer to the sunny spots on the patio, but it seems to be doing really nicely. The one side that was away from the sun originally started to seem like it was dying a bit so I weeded out the dead leaves and left the stalks to hopefully rebound.
The coup de gras - my standing pot. This pot has OBVIOUSLY had some explosive growth in the last six weeks. The agave has all but taken over the empty spots and the little flat leafed plant has grown at least three inches taller in the last six weeks. I see this pot the most because it is so visible through our sliding glass door, and it's the pot I am the most proud of for sure.
More updates to come in another six weeks!!!
I didn't really start doing the top down photos until about a week after they were all first planted, so unfortunately you can't really see the before and after as well with this pot. You can tell the succulents have really started to fill in the empty spaces!
This was the only pre planted pot we purchased, and it's been doing really well! I had to turn it a little bit and get it closer to the sunny spots on the patio, but it seems to be doing really nicely. The one side that was away from the sun originally started to seem like it was dying a bit so I weeded out the dead leaves and left the stalks to hopefully rebound.
This pot is so cute - I love the flat leaves that are a little green/blue/violet. They are so cool!!! Again, I accidentally took the first photos from the side, but this is the pot that has had the least growth of all of them. Hopefully that's because these are more spring/summer growing succulents and we'll see more activity once winter is over.
The coup de gras - my standing pot. This pot has OBVIOUSLY had some explosive growth in the last six weeks. The agave has all but taken over the empty spots and the little flat leafed plant has grown at least three inches taller in the last six weeks. I see this pot the most because it is so visible through our sliding glass door, and it's the pot I am the most proud of for sure.
More updates to come in another six weeks!!!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Roasted Tomato Basil Soup
This morning, Sam woke me up before he left to tell me a few things:
Needless to say, it was a lot to take in at 6:00 this morning. Hunter and I decided it was best NOT to lounge in bed, and we got up to tackle our honey-do list.
- He was proud of me for getting the raise I deserve at work (I had my annual review last week and asked my boss to reconsider my merit increase and gave him four reasons I deserve the more money, and named my price. To my surprise, he met my request yesterday!!!)
- He wanted me to make the roasted tomato basil soup recipe he found in the crock pot cookbook
- Our water heater wasn't working properly and he'd taken a lukewarm (at best) shower
Needless to say, it was a lot to take in at 6:00 this morning. Hunter and I decided it was best NOT to lounge in bed, and we got up to tackle our honey-do list.
First, I reviewed the recipe (which I included at the bottom of this post) and saw that I needed to roast the canned stewed tomatoes with brown sugar and diced onion in the oven for 30 minutes to create the base of the soup. I was pretty confident I couldn't chop the onions small enough to make them smooth in the soup without a little help from my favorite emulsifier, so I pulled out the archaic cuisinart we got from Sam's grandpa several years ago when we helped him move out of his house. The thing worked like a dream! It took care of the chopping while I was spreading the tomatoes out on a baking sheet and sprinkling them with the brown sugar.
Then, while the tomatoes, sugar and onions were in the oven, I took Hunter on his morning potty walk and tackled the pilot light on the water heater.
After everything had roasted, I popped it all back into the food processor so I could get the mixture as smooth as possible before tossing it into the crock pot with chicken broth, tomato paste, some spices and the left over juice from the canned tomatoes. Needless to say, I did a lot better with the food processor than if it had been up to me to chop everything by hand.
Into the crockpot it all went, and then I started working on the dishes. Unfortunately, the water coming out of the sink was still all cold, so I had to call our property manager and have her sent up a handy man to get the water heater functioning again. Hey, at least everything was fixed before 9:30!
The final product was pretty delicious, if I do say so myself! Sam has made a few comments to me that on the days I am working from home he would like me to get a home cooked meal put together so that it's ready when he gets home from work. I suppose he's got a point that it would be nice if I did a little more cooking. Even if some days it's a crockpot meal that I prep in the morning and then let simmer all day, rather than a complicated recipe I tackle at 5:00 when i get off work, it's nice to have home cooking and it's something we want to make a priority when we have our own family.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Wedding Planning Compromises
It's funny, and probably a good sign, that I don't mind compromising with Sam on wedding details. I am really, really proud of him and how involved he has been in planning things like our invitations (which he seriously was SO meticulous about I was shocked!) and meeting different officiants.
He's also been really involved with my family of his own volition, which is really nice. Not that Sam wasn't supportive of my family, but he's been really tight on free time and he doesn't get to spend enough time with his family so my family sometimes ends up taking a backseat unless they come down to visit us in Irvine - which they do A LOT and we really do appreciate that immensely!
But lately, since even before we got engaged, Sam's been doing little things as well as big things. He's making the effort to see my family and celebrate big milestones with us the way I have done with his family over the last several years. He came with me for Papa's 80th birthday when we got the entire Santi family together and he opted to stay at my parents' house one night when we were in town last weekend.
He has been so great helping me manage my stress, too. I was getting a little overwhelmed trying to please everyone and mediate every decision we made, so Sam stepped up and agreed that he would be the spokesperson for his side of the family regarding wedding stuff while I was the spokesperson for my side of the family. That's reduced my stress a lot and makes me even more sure about making this huge commitment to Sam next year. He is a great partner, teammate and friend. I am incredibly lucky to spend my life with him.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Christmas Eve Conundrum
Obviously, I was thrilled by the thought of spending time with my family at the holidays.
Then Sam started getting concerned about the repercussions of spending the holidays with my family when it's our year to spend Christmas with Sam's side of the family. And we'll have just spent Thanksgiving with my family in Irvine.
So far, my parents haven't said a word about me missing Christmas Day to be with the Galle family. They have been really supportive of us making our plans and even told my mom's side of the family that unfortunately I won't be able to get together on Christmas Day despite that being the only definite day my cousin has off work. My mom said she does hope to spend one day celebrating with us, but it doesn't matter to her which day that is.
Objectively, I don't think it's too terrible of us to split our time a little bit between the families since our parents still live just about 10 minutes apart. I know if we were spending Christmas with my family in Moraga, I would want to make sure we saw Sam's family on Christmas Eve and I'm sure my parents would understand.
I guess we'll have to ride this out a little bit and see what happens over the next couple of weeks.
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