3rd Year Begins

Today is Sam's first day as a 3rd Year Orthopedic Surgery Resident at UCI.  2nd year is over, and that means we have officially survived the most challenging year of residency!

That's not to say we didn't have our ups and downs over the last 12 months, because we certainly did.  But it wasn't as bad (nor did it seem as long) as I was preparing for it to be.  Hopefully this next year will bring with it more hours of sleep for Sam and less crankiness.  I feel badly for how exhausted he was this year and I appreciate how much he tried to not let his schedule interfere with our life outside of work.  Who knows, maybe I'll be relinquishing my "Ortho Widow" title!

To celebrate Sam's huge accomplishment, I decided to give him a little something he had mentioned that he wanted, along with two things we've needed that I have been meaning to get:

The first thing, was a muddler.  Sam is really into drinking Old Fashioneds but he doesn't have anything to muddle the bitters and sugar with.  I also love me a refreshing mojito during the summer months so it will serve all of our bar tending endeavors well.  And I purchased my favorite brand- OXO!  I bought myself their shaker and Sam can't get over how nice it is.  Having well-made cooking stuff really makes a huge difference!

The second thing is a lemon juicer.  We have a lime juicer and it's awesome!  The downside is that it doesn't handle lemons very well.  So for Sam's amazing lemonade and his latest creation, coconut citrus margaritas, we have to quarter the lemons before we juice them.  This is going to make the whole process so much faster!  And it will be great for seasoning fish and making my Green Energy Smoothie in the mornings.


Finally, Sam has mentioned that he wants a cast-iron skillet.  So I decided to take advantage of a Sur la Table sale and pick one up to surprise him.  Well, killing two birds with one stone, I selected a Le Creuset skillet.  I have been wanting to dive into the world of Le Creuset for a while but everything is SO expensive!  That said, as I wrote two paragraphs earlier, using well-made cooking stuff REALLY makes a HUGE difference.  So I jumped in.  I bought Sam the skillet and me the two-in-one pan and pot that can be used separately or together as a lidded pot.  I went with the Fennel color.

I wrapped everything up under Hunter's watchful eye in the last bits of our UCI wrapping paper.  This was pretty funny because it made Sam think I bought him stuff at the UCI student store... which I most certainly did NOT!

The Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy is a vile emotion.  it brings out the things we despise the most in ourselves.  It breeds insecurity and self-doubt.

Yes, sometimes it is a natural response to a situation, but it needs to be kept in check.

Comparing ourselves to others is best kept to a minimum, as is worrying about the things we don't have and can't attain.

Most importantly, jealousy should never get in the way of celebrating the successes and milestones of good friends.

That, unfortunately, is something I am struggling with this week.

Fitness Update

So here's a fitness update for those of you keeping track at home.  I am doing FitOrbit with my former trainer, Amanda, who is a total stud and one of my fitness heroes.

I started with her about 4 weeks ago and I have lost a whopping 3 pounds so far (which I promptly put right back on and am now struggling to lose again).  But hey, that's a start!  And actually I have been building mad muscle.  My calves are looking pretty stacked again and just yesterday Sam was complimenting my shoulders and told me how much more toned they look since I started swimming once a week.  Imagine how amused I was when I told him that it wasn't from swimming once a week, it's from all the days I left weights and do Amanda's crazy circuits.  Hey, if he thinks swimming does it maybe it's not my place to burst his bubble.

My biggest challenges are portion control, snacking, and stress.  I do not handle stress well- I am a terrible emotional eater!  And even when I'm not overworked, under-slept or emotional drained, I still have a hard time stopping myself when I reach my portion limit.

The stress is a double whammy.  I am emotional so I am very likely to overeat and make poor food choices.  And on the other side of the coin, I never feel like exercising when I am really, really stressed.  The thought of having another "To Do List" item that needs checked off can really send me over the edge.

Earlier this week I was strapped and spread too thin working on a hard deadline for a project at work that involved going live with 28 new website pages for one of our newest products.  Sure enough, I was eating like I had PMS for about a week and I was working long hours and not spending as much time being active.  Now though, that's behind me.  And I am recommitting myself to the cause!

The Battery

So I was cruising on iTunes checking out movies and came across yet another Zombie Apocalypse movie.  I would probably say I am a fan of the genre... I like The Walking Dead, I thought Warm Bodies was absolutely adorable, and I am looking forward to watching World War Z- eventually.

So I figured I would do a little research before I made any purchases.  I Googled the title and found out that one of the two protagonists wrote and directed (maybe even produced) the movie.  It was made in 15 days on a $6,000 budget and it's already won multiple awards.  Plus, the trailer (below) looked pretty freaking awesome.

So, naturally, I rented it.

I just finished watching it in fact.  let me tell you, it was pretty entertaining, very well written for an amateur film, and it certainly had an edge to it that was VERY real.  I would certainly recommend it to anyone who is interested in apocalyptic stories... and actually the gore was minimal considering the subject matter and plot. 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

So Sam and I get very behind on movies... like really embarrassingly behind.

This weekend we finally watched The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.  Yeah, yeah, we know that it came out 7 months ago.  Like I said, we have a tough time getting to the movies.

It was incredible- I couldn't believe how amazing the movie was.  The effects, the characters, the scenes... wow.  What a great job they did.  I am sure they built a lot from the Fellowship of the Ring trilogy but wow they stepped it up a lot.

The only disappointing part was when Sam said, "I can't believe they turned this into a 6 hour story."  It was then that I remembered we were NOT going to get to the end of the story today.  We weren't even going to get halfway through the story!  I mean I guess the nice part is that we're only about 5 months from the release of the second installment, The Desolation of Smaug.  Life's all about finding the silver linings right?

Anyway, watching the movie brought back lots of memories from my childhood of watching the animated version of the story.  Sam couldn't believe that I haven't ever read the books despite my  voracious appetite for fantastical fiction.  So I think I'm going to break down and buy the nook book for some summer reading.  I mean I LOVE A Song of Ice and Fire and I think it's very safe to assume that Martin used Tolkien as his inspiration.

10-Year High School Reunion

Tomorrow Sam and I on our way to the airport and flying up to NorCal for our 10-year high school reunion.  We're making a vacation weekend out of the whole trip and will be staying at my grandparents' time share in San Francisco for the weekend.  

I was supposed to be "helping out" with the planning after one of the two girls who planned our 5-year couldn't reprise her role.  The remaining girl said she couldn't do this alone and so I offered to assist her.  

Then said girl got pregnant- congrats to she and her hubby and their young son on the new addition!  So she asked me if I would please step up and be the lead planner in case, like with her first pregnancy, she delivered a few weeks earlier than her due date.  

Anyway, it turns out that planning a reunion is not so hard in that Facebook is amazing and the other two girls had already created a group for our classmates.  On the other hand, prepping for a huge event like this does take time and energy.  I definitely am going to have a sign-up sheet at the registration table for people to volunteer to help out with our next one.

What did I do?  I filed for an EIN number so that, at some point, I could easily pass the accounting on to another group of people.  I still need to file a "Fictitious Business Name" with my home county and then run it in a newspaper for a couple of weeks.  But I will worry about that after this weekend is over.

Right now I am focused on throwing a fun party for about 90 people at a Mexican place in San Francisco where we're hosting a taco bar with the funds we raised through ticket sales and also making a cash bar available to patrons.  It will (hopefully) be really, really fun.  

I can't wait to catch up with some of the classmates I haven't seen since I moved down to SoCal after college.  I am even more excited to see the friends I haven't seen in the last 18 months.  I just hope I'm not so exhausted (mental and emotionally) from the stress of planning that I crash and burn with a cold when it's all over. 

And while I am potentially excited to do this again, I am not sure if we really need 5-year intervals for our reunions... I am going to poll the class next week and see if people a) liked the reunion and b) how often they would like to do them again.  Truthfully, this was actually Liz's idea.  She is going to help me planning the next one, so it's a bit of a passing of the torch situation.  

Father's Day Plans

Sam and I are headed up to Northern California this weekend.  We were originally going to attend our 10-year high school reunion, which I am co-planning with another of my classmates, but Sam got tickets to see Dispatch with his parents and Sam's cousin planned herself a graduation party.

Now I'll be attending our reunion solo- oh goody.  I am so thankful that I have a couple of good friends who will be there because I am a little bit intimidated at the idea of going alone!

I probably shouldn't complain though, because Hunter will be here with our dog sitter, Linzy.  And I know that he'd prefer to be with us.

Along with our reunion, I am really excited to see my parents and spend some family time with them.  On Father's Day my parents and grandparents are coming into the city, Sam and I are staying in San Francisco at my grandparent's timeshare at the Donatello.  We're going to brunch to celebrate Father's Day.  I love my Daddy, he's definitely been very influential in making me the woman I am today and I am incredibly thankful.

Waiting Patiently

One more quick thing I wanted to share that will make your heart melt a little.

On my way home from spin Sam sent me this text with the caption: Clearly waiting for someone

Hunter epitomizes unconditional love.

Not All Compliments Are Created Equal

I got home from work today and did my weigh lifting routine before heading to the gym.  I was a little later than usual (someone had to take a walk and do his business, Hunter!) but I figured it wouldn't be a big deal because our usual teacher wasn't out today.  Man, was I wrong.

I got to class and every single bike against the back wall was taken.  Every. Single. One.

Are you kidding me?  The one day I wear a snug-fitting Lululemon top to spin instead of a baggy t-shirt I am going to be on display to the people behind me.  Cue the self-consciousness.

I did what any girl would do- I immediately texted my girlfriends for support.  The responses were priceless.

My Texts:
Showed up late to spin today and couldn't get a back row bike- it's the first day I have worn a tight Lululemon (muffin top exposing) shirt.  FML.

Nobody stares at the ass in front of them... except me... right?

Turns out I am not the only one with a muffin top, thank God I have a nice rack.

Responses:
From Amy- "You have such great form that if anyone looks at your ass it's going to be because they are checking out your stance"

From Carina- "LOL ur all good.  Gym judgement is silly!!!"

From Sam- "That's what you get for having a muffin top!"

So what did I do?  I spun my little heart out!  I figured if I was going to be the chunky girl on the bike I could at least get a helluva workout in and have people respect me for that.  Our sub, who I've had before and I am convinced is a little nuts, is forevermore to be known as The Spin Nazi.  (Seinfeld shout-out!)  She is seriously hard work, but not as fun as Jen.

Well, about 10 minutes before class was over, I was sweating all over myself and prepping for an awesome finish to my workout.  I looked up and The Spin Nazi is totally grinning at me and mouthing something that seemed encouraging although I couldn't tell what she was saying.  The next thing I knew, she called me out for having great form.

Wow.  There is no higher compliment when you are working your butt off than to have the group fitness instructor acknowledge your amazingness in front of the entire class.  Yes, it's pretty damn rewarding.  And honestly, I worked even harder that last 10 minutes after she recognized my effort.

Girlfriends

Sometimes all that a girl needs is a day full of pampering with her girlfriends.

Sam was on call over night yesterday- he only has 3 calls left in his 2nd year of residency.  WOOHOO!

A last minute surprise, Carrie had the day off and decided to come down and visit for the day.  Carrie and I met in college, in a Spanish class during our junior year, and it turned out we were both Communications majors and had a couple of classes together for our major.  I think we took ALMOST every Communications class after that together- excluding the ones that one or the other had already taken.  She was a bright spot for me in school and since graduation I have really appreciating having Carrie and her fantastic family so close to Sam and I.  They have been so supportive of me and very welcoming and have always made me feel like I have family here in Southern California.

We had manicures in the morning at my favorite nail salon, grabbed lunch at The Counter (which is arguably my favorite burger place EVER), and then went down to my hair appointment with Jenn.  I'm a blond again!  I think Sam's happy but I'm REALLY blond- like it's going to take some getting used to for both of us.

We came home and took Hunter for a walk so I could get in my exercise.  I swapped the heavy cardio and weight lifting that I was supposed to do yesterday with the walk Amanda had scheduled for me today.  Even on my pampered days I can't take a day off from my health and fitness regiment.

We had a bit of a GNO after the appointment.  We went to The Daily Grill for dinner and picked up a dish for Sam that we brought over to him at the hospital.  Carrie hadn't ever been to the UCI Medical Center so Sam gave her the whole tour.

Being with Carrie made me feel so much better about all the stress in my life.  It is amazing what girlfriends can do for your happiness.

Now I'm exhausted from my workout and making dinner for us tonight and tomorrow night.  Hey, planning ahead is a good thing!  My legs still feel sore, but I do think I'm better off than had I skipped my workout and napped ALL afternoon.  As it was, I napped with Hunter for an hour before hitting the gym.

Anyway, here's to a great week!

Rejected

Five weeks ago I was hopeful.  I had been feeling restless about my future and wanted affirmation that
things were going to be okay and that I was headed in the right direction.  I thought I might be standing on the precipice of change.  I thought I wanted things to change.

In the weeks since I have been less and less sure that I desire a change.  There is so much comfort in what we know.  I waited patiently and impatiently depending on how my day was going.

Finally, I started convincing myself that the outcome doesn't matter.  My life is great, I am lucky and I don't need more than I have.

Today I the equivalent of a rejection letter from a college admissions office.  Wow.

I am surprised at how disappointed I am.  How personal the rejection is.  How much I want to go home and crawl into my bed and just escape to sleep.

Instead, I shoved my face full of white cheddar rice cakes and totally blew my calories for today on FitOrbit.  Smooth, Gi.  Real smooth.  Can you say "emotional eating" with me?  This is such a hurdle for me- I self-soothe with food.  It's a lose-lose for me.  Which is so frustrating!  I am upset and feel badly about myself and then I go and screw up my fitness plan which only makes me feel worse.  Cue the vicious, depressive cycle.

So what did I do?  I messaged Amanda and acknowledged that today I failed at something I hoped to succeed at.  And I owned my caloric SNAFU.  Yes, I overate today.  But am I going to throw in the towel, skip my workout, buy a pint of ice cream on the way home and wallow in my self-pity?

Hell no!

I am getting out of here and hitting the gym to complete my daily workout!  And then, I am going to eat  a healthy, balanced dinner- I am not going to make myself feel guilty and try to skip dinner.  (Yes, I really have done that before, but no, it is rarely successful and usually just means I am going to snack later.)  Today is ONE DAY in my week, month, year, life.  It's okay that it wasn't perfect, I have another chance tomorrow and life will go on.

Like Lead

So I started back with my amazing personal trainer from a couple of years ago, Amanda.  We make a fabulous team- she pushes me but is like a teammate not a drill sergeant.

So anyway, I have been trying (and failing) to lose weight on my own for about 16 months.  Due to some upcoming life events, Sam thought it would be nice to get me a personal trainer.  I think he was envisioning that I'd work out once a week with a trainer at our gym, but I had other plans.  I immediately texted Amanda and told her it was time to whip me back into shape.

These days (and actually, I think back when we were first training too) Amanda is doing online training via FitOrbit.  So I signed up.  I got online and I filled out the surveys and I submitted my credit card.  Woohoo!  So as of June 1, 2013 I am back on my health kick and fitness plan.

Let me tell you, it has not been easy.  Today for example, I was incredibly hungry.  Just ravenous.  Probably because I had a breakfast backfire where my intended meal was just not going to cut it.  So I tried to hold out until lunch but I ended up eating my lunch around 11, dozing off around 1, and having second lunch around 2.  Oops.

Good thing my workout tonight was INTENSE!  I did 30 minutes of Sculpt Cycle weights, walked Hunter for 40 minutes, and then hit up my new favorite Spin Class (Tuesday nights at LA Fitness with Jen).  Exhausted is an understatement.  I mean seriously.  I can barely move.

My arms are still sore from the insane "Just Push" arm circuit I did on Saturday morning.  Now I have legs like lead from my workouts yesterday and today.  I don't even know how I am going to take Hunter down for his before-bed potty walk.  I could have easily gone to soak in the jacuzzi for a while this evening... but I didn't have enough time.

Thankfully tomorrow is a pyramid swim set so I should have some chance of stretching out my arms and legs and doing some lengthening after all this tightening.  And since I'll already be down in the pool with my suit on I definitely foresee some soaking time so that my achy muscles can recover a bit.

Eye on the prize, kid.  Eye on the prize.

3rd Year Approaches

Wow.  So this is Sam's last weekend of call for his second year of residency.  Starting June 1 he will be a third year orthopedic surgery resident and will be working at Kaiser during his first rotation.  

What does that mean?

Regular work hours.  9-5.  

No Saturday call.  Amazing!

It's going to be amazing.  I am so thankful for all that we've overcome as far as the crazy work hours and the stress of his second year of residency goes.  I am so glad to have all of this stress behind us.  

Not that I don't think this is going to be a cakewalk, but I am constantly hearing that the worst will be behind us once he's past this year.  I am sure we'll still have challenges, but I am so looking forward to the next chapter.

I am really, just so excited!  No more ortho widow days and nights for me!  We can be a little family on the weekends like we were during Memorial Day Weekend!

Game of Thrones: The Red Wedding

Now I think I've made it pretty clear by now that I'm a big A Game of Thrones (AGoT) fan, more aptly put: I am a Song of Ice and Fire fan because that's actually the true name of the book series.

Anyway, I actually started reading the books after buying the first season of the Game of Thrones HBO TV series.  Midway through the DVDs I was tweeting about my love and obsession with the show (I watched the entire first season over one weekend) and several friends recommended I read the books.  I tend to be a big fan of both the fantasy and medieval genres.

Anyway, Sam got into the series too, although he doesn't have time to slog through the incredibly lengthy novels that George R. R. Martin puts together.  So watching the latest episode has become our Sunday night tradition.  This third season has been a relatively slow season for me - I keep waiting for the plot to move ahead so that we can get into some of the stuff from the more recent novels.

Last night, we didn't watch episode 9 because Sam was on call at the hospital and I wait for him to watch the new episodes since I pretty much know what's going to happen anyway.  Well, let me tell you, we watched the shit out of the episode tonight and it's just so tough to swallow all that went on in the last 10 minutes.

Honestly, as someone who knew it was coming, I have been dreading this episode since I first read A Storm of Swords and knew that Rob Stark was doomed.  Honestly, I hoped that with all the jumping around and minor changes to the plot that perhaps his dear baby would escape unscathed.  Unfortunately I was wrong.

And the scene was so graphic, so terribly graphic, that it was almost worse watching it than reading it.  Catelyn Stark's final few moments are just so horribly gut wrenching and heartbreaking as you see her completely give up as she stands there with Rob at her feet.

Sam was completely shocked at the turn of events.  His jaw dropped and his hands flew to his face where they stayed until the credits started rolling.  I was heartbroken for him almost as much as I was heartbroken myself.  I try not to spoil the big plot lines for him, so I kept my mouth shut about The Red Wedding.

The outpouring of fan emotions has been huge following this episode and it's funny because I never thought to argue with George R. R. Martin on his plot development.  Read this article from the LA Times to see just how upset some fans are.  I, personally, found this article on The Onion to be more appealing.  Yes, it's sad these characters died and I am grieving for their losses, but I believe that we all knew that no one is safe as soon as Ned got the axe in season one.

Furthermore, if you think Daenerys Targaryn has any chance of coming back to Westeros and claiming her throne you have to realize that it's unlikely the Starks will rule a sovereign Northern territory for long.  Before you all run out and cancel your HBO subscriptions, let me assure you that the series goes on just fine without Rob Stark.  And this may not be the end of Catelyn... so stick with it and see where George R. R. Martin is taking us!

That said, I read a quote today that said something along these lines:

"This story isn't going to end in such a way that all the characters are happy.  And it's probably not going to end in the way the readers want it to."

Yes, that's probably very true.  But like I said before, we all agreed to play George R. R. Martin's sick game where none of the main characters are safe when we kept watching after season 1.

SoulPancake: My Last Days

Many people have heard of Zach Sobiech who tragically died on May 20, 2013 just days after he turned 18.  I saw Zach's video on a Facebook post and I was really touched.  I was so touched I went to the SoulPancake YouTube Channel to watch more of the series.  Here are the incredibly inspirational young people who are featured.

Next time I am complaining about something in my life I am going to return to this post and remind myself that things could be worse.  And that there are some really wonderful people who are going through some really horrible, tough times who are incredibly positive and thankful for the time they have.  I wish these folks weren't going through these experiences, but I am so impressed by their amazing attitudes and I think SoulPancake and these wonderful individuals and families for sharing their lives with us.