Freedom and Freelance

Freelancing is incredibly different this time around. I have such a better understanding of how to pitch new business, what kinds of documents clients want to see, etc. I'm also a lot better equipped to assess what jobs and projects are a good fit or something that I'm not likely to enjoy/excel at. I am incredibly thankful for my taste of agency life, and it's absolutely helped me grow in my never-ending quest for self-improvement and career advancement.

One skill that I've always been very strong at is organization - even at the agency I was consistently complimented on my mastery of details and project management. I find that organization is a blessing and a curse, because if my work space isn't organized I have a very hard time focusing. Over the years, I've learned that time spent improving my environment on the front-end usually translates to success at the back-end. For that reason, I spent most of my first week "off" putting my things away and reorganizing my desk in our guest room. Things are now exactly as I want them and I'm able to focus on potential projects without the clutter of piles of paper all over. 

Another thing that's changed this time through funemployment is how exhausted I am. I think that agency life took a much greater toll on my emotional health than I realized, and my body is trying to recuperate and acclimate to its stress-free state. I used to be able to get to bed at 9-9:30 and be up at 4:30 for Kaia, but I didn't even make it up by 6:45 the past two days.  I am hoping that my energy level rebounds soon so that I can get into a routine. 

One of the things that is always challenging working from home is time management. I've had a significantly more challenging time with that this time around, probably because I'm much more serious about launching a freelance career, improving my fitness and finding that ever-elusive work-life balance than I was last time around. I think I have a huge fear that I'll repeat my history of focusing 110% on work and going down the rabbit hole of poor eating habits. Then again, I am so much more aware of my personal needs than I have been at any other point in my career. Perhaps I've done more growing up more in the last 18 months than I realize. 

Saying Goodbye

I'm not thrilled at the way my last day at the marketing and PR agency played out. 

I don't know what I could have done to have improved things, and I've thought about it a lot. There is so much that's out of our hands as employees and it is so frustrating. Our agency principal left the office early on Friday without so much as telling me goodbye and she didn't come in yesterday, which ended up being my last day.

I didn't manage my resignation as well as I could have, and I allowed my superiors to dictate my last day. That wouldn't have been so terrible except that I never was notified what my last day would be. Instead, our agency principal called me yesterday morning and let me know that she felt that we could wrap things up and have that be my last day. Okay, fine. I take some responsibility in that. I really do. I should have called out a final date and then offered to be flexible in pushing it back if need be. 

What really disappointed me, was the fact that I wasn't given an exit interview and there was no in person farewell from the agency principal, who knew she would be out of the office on Monday and Tuesday, one of which would be my final day. 

Life goes on, and this whole experience has definitely taught me a lot of lessons in what I don't want to be as a manager. It also taught me the value in being the bigger person and taking the high road. Each of my co-workers was equally outraged by the poor performance set by the agency principal and I know that I left in good standing with my head high.

I will absolutely miss the incredibly talented team of girls I was able to work with - I wish them nothing but the best and anticipate they will all have incredibly bright futures ahead of them.  

Resignation

I've resigned twice in my career. I didn't have anything lined up prior to leaving in either occasion. That may be a sign of my lack of forethought, but I promise that both times it was a very rational decision that I had considered for quite some time prior to pulling the trigger.

Most recently, I resigned from a prestigious marketing and public relations agency specializing in foodservice clients. I had been an account executive for just over a year and was promoted to senior account executive just prior to giving my notice.

This was a decision that I deliberated over with my husband. Finally, one morning Sam asked me to walk our dog with him. We went for a long walk, during which Sam said , "I stayed up watching The Pursuit of Happiness and I would live in a BART station bathroom with you." There was a lot more said, but that line was the highlight and the gist was that I was obviously not happy in my current job for a variety of reasons and it was time to figure out what I really wanted to pursue.

That was one of the most intense conversations of my life. Sam and I set out from our apartment with me dead opposed to the thought of leaving my job, and by the time we had arrived back at our gate, I was ready to try something completely new.

And I resigned yesterday.

It was well-received by my supervisor and our agency principal, so I decided to be professional and offer to stay and train my replacement if need be. They seemed very eager to take me up on that, so only time will tell when I'm really out of there.

Headed in the Right Direction

Today I had a great weigh-in at weight watchers. I mean seriously, the best one since I rejoined the program back in May 2014. 

I was 2.2 pounds down. 

This is after nearly six months of hovering and slowly gaining. 

I cannot tell you the sweet feeling of success that overcame me when I heard her say that. 

What's changed since the New Year? 

1. Kaia Fit OC - Let's get real, I haven't been on a really regimented training program since I was meeting with Amanda regularly (in person). The girls at Kaia are AWESOME. They motivate me, accept my current fitness level and support my goals and efforts to improve. I think this has been better because I can't seem to be accountable in online training sessions. That accountability is something I struggle with when I'm not attending weight watchers meetings too. 
2. Weight Watchers - Tracking points works! I know that, and yet I have trouble putting it into action at times. Re-committing to logging everything that goes into my mouth has been a learning process, an adjustment period and now a tool for success.
3. Holistic Nutrition Center - One thing I've done completely differently this time around in my weight loss journey is get a nutritionist. Kaia had one come in and speak, so I went with her. In the spirit of full-disclosure, it's a little bit too voodoo for Sam, but I think we're both at the point where whatever works is great. I'm changing my eating habits, the way I think about food and the way I tackle this process.
4. Fat Chance - I think I mentioned that I've been reading a great book that Sam read and then recommended to me. Right now, the author is thoroughly explaining the biochemistry behind obesity and it's been really enlightening. Not that I'm taking anything as an excuse for what's happened to me, but I do think knowledge is empowering and can help me to get this weight off and then KEEP IT OFF. I am less than a quarter of the way in, but as of now I'd recommend this to anyone trying to make a change and be more healthy/fit. 

Our First Dance

Our wedding videos arrived in the mail today! 

I have been SO waiting for this moment and the videos were even better than my wildest dreams!

During the early stages of the wedding planning, I told Sam I wanted to have a "YouTube-Worthy" First Dance. We found a great instructor (Tayler) at Bella Ballroom and started taking lessons about 3 months prior to the big day. 

Tayler choreographed all the moves herself, made videos to teach our fabulous wedding party over the internet, and then held an hour-long lesson with our bridal party two days prior to our wedding to teach all of our bridesmaid and the groomsmen the dance moves. Huge kudos to her, and to our amazing friends, for taking our idea and running with it. 

Without further ado, here it is!

Long Day

Yesterday I was at the office just after 8 a.m. and didn't leave until just after 7 p.m.

It was a long day. I cannot even begin to describe how nice it was to walk in the door and have Hunter greet me with his warm tongue and sparkling eyes. Even better, Sam had BBQ'ed pork loin and made us a spinach salad.

Sam then gave me 45 minutes to continue to wrap up a few projects from work and then tucked me into bed to start reading Fat Chance: Beating the Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity and Disease. He read it on the plane during his trip out to Philadelphia and thought it was right up my ally being that I'm so focused on health. While I was reading calmly in bed, he took Hunter down for a short walk and then joined me. It was just what I needed to calm down and unwind after a stressful day at the office.

I am such a lucky wife.

Promoted

I received a promotion, officially announced at this evening's office happy hour. Effective immediately I am now a senior account executive, which pretty much means that I'm responsible for all the things I was already doing and I'm expected to begin doing all of the things in the position above my current one.

Pretty standard corporate protocol.

While this should be overall good news, I'm not entirely sure I'm happy about it. Work has been pretty all-encompassing and I've been feeling stressed and more overwhelmed than usual. My anxiety has been so high that it's been coming out in my nervous jittery legs which more than one person has noticed in recent weeks.

While I'm honored to be given more responsibility and accountability, I'm also wary because there are so many personal things I'd like to accomplish this year and I worry this professional life is holding me back.