As I learned to stand up for what I believe in, I found that my true friends and my family stuck by me no matter what. I saw that living in fear of disappointing other people is really a manifestation of my fear of being rejected by the people closest to me. By allowing other people to dictate my actions I am only disappointing myself and squandering the opportunities in my life.
Some people fell out of my life imminently while others slowly faded into the background and then out of the picture completely. I let some people go without resistance, but I fought for others until the bitter end. Even now, I find myself acknowledging the end of relationships with friends and coworkers. Sometimes they are moving on to new chapters that I'm not ready to experience yet and sometimes I am moving on before they are ready. I feel no bitterness at being "left behind" and I don't place blame. It's said things fall apart so better things can come together- I believe that as old relationships fade new people come into our lives to fill those gaps.
In the last few years I have done some soul-searching. I have taken stock of the people around me and I have asked myself some tough questions about my life. Am I happy? What do I want in life? I made the decision to purposely distance myself from some people in my life. It was not easy, but it was not as difficult as I expected it to be either.
I can choose to be disappointed in myself that these friendships weren't as lasting as I had thought they would be, or I can look to the future and begin to surround myself with engaging, supportive people who can provide me the support and and energy I want to have in my life. I choose the latter.
It's possible that in time paths will cross again, and I welcome that opportunity in the future.
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